SURLY? CHECK. AWKWARD? CHECK.

Big O, what kind of cake would you like for your birthday?

 

Can I get back to you, mom?  Absolutely, buddy.

 

***

 

Okay, Mom, here's what I want:

 

White cake, white frosting, strawberry jelly in the middle. 

 

Do you want fresh strawberries? 

 

No, just the jelly. (EW)

 

***

 

Fast forward to his birthday, we whip out the cake at quinceanera practice, and everyone begins to sing.

 

I am his mom,  I have been his mom all of his life.  Until he gets a girlfriend or a college roomate, I am his best predictor of behavior.  I am also the queen of the worst case scenario.

 

I watched my son chomping on what had to be an entire pack of gum as we sang, and I stopped singing to shout at him.

 

He did not hear me over the crowd, and I'll be dog damned if he did not do it exactly like I thought.

 

Ftew!   Huge gob of bright blue gum in the middle of the cake.

 

I asked him if he wanted a big piece or a small piece of cake after the drama died down, and he tells me

 

"yeah, I'm not really a cake fan."

 

WHAT? 

 

I let it go, because I think he was more embarrassed about the Great Gum Debacle of 2008 than he was hungry (poor baby).

 

******************************

 

Let's flash forward a few more days, to getting Little O enrolled in Big O' s Magnet school--yay!   First day of Kindergarten, Take 2! 

 

I asked the office to send Big O a note about where he needs to get his sister, and as I am finalizing things, Big O rolls in to retrieve his note, in a completely different outfit than I brought him to school in.  Specifically, not the UNIFORM that he is required to wear, by both the school AND me.  He has been changing his clothes at school.

 

Here's the problem:  The school district lets people sign a uniform waiver.  Much to my surprise, a lot of parents sign it.  I didn't.   Big O has been vehemently campaigning for the waiver.  So have the Honey and the Ex. (Imagine the Honey's horror at taking a stand with the Ex).

 

But here's my side:

 

*Studies show kids wearing uniforms concentrate on their studies more.

 

*Big O is a craptastic student.  

 

*He's also damned rough on clothes.

 

*Did I mention his grades? 

 

So yesterday I marched into his room and confiscated all of his tee shirts from his dresser, AND his dirty clothes.  He's wearing polos 24/7 for the next month.  Okay, the week.

 

 

We talked about it last night and here is our compromise--

 

I will sign that dirty rotten waiver.

 

He will maintain a B average.

 

If his grades slip, so does his wardrobe. 

 

I think my favorite thing about this is that the size polos he got this year will last into high school.

 

Is that wrong?