Sunday, January 27

Life without Cable: Day 3,652 Writer's strike:day 185

We sank to a new low tonight.

The rabbit-ear elves that rule my living room are cruel, cruel, little fae indeed.

Some would blame it on the storm overhead, but I know it's those damned pixies. Like the legend of the changeling child, my English stations have all been swapped for Spanish. Unlike the dull, half lit children in the old tales, the Spanish channels are brightly colored! There's lots of screaming and jiggling flesh abounds! The English channels are fuzzy and cutting out--the Spanish stations have never been so stable and clear. The English stations are all reruns, or stuff so bad nobody wanted to watch it in the first place.

Tonight we were mesmerized by...

Well, I guess it would be Mexican Circus Act Idol.

I am ashamed to say it's not the first time we've been sucked in, but it was CLEAR tonight. I could see the makeup used to paint on muscular definition on the eight to ten year old boys--each team has one--and on the buffed twenty year olds with all the definition they needed. Somebody got creative on one of them and quite frankly, his torso looked like a sea monkee.

We could not look away. If we were able to break the hold and check the English stations for something--anything to watch, it didn't matter. The MCAI lasted for like THREE hours.

The teams didn't have names, just colors. WHY didn't the rope guys wear team colors when dangling 20 feet up? I don't know. But it bothered me.

When the yellow team's rope dancer started losing his blue spandex pants, the honey and I placed bets on whether or not we'd see his underwear (if any) and whether or not they would be thong. (FYI, I totally called it- thong. The honey was a little traumatized)

A new low.

Why couldn't these elves be like the elves and the shoemaker, and make us NEW, better rabbit ears overnight, or come on, a nice new HDTV ready flat screen appearing on my wall.

Shit, I'd settle for them matching the loose DVD's to their cases.

2 comments:

bananas62 said...

it's going to be ok! I would be happy with no TV at all!!! It's all crap anyway... well except for MOONLIGHT on Fridays!!!!

Mert said...

Loose DVDS... send them over here to fix mine after they are done with yours please :D