Friday, June 29

Do they make calamine lotion for this?

It's kind of like having chicken pox.

You know better, but all you can think about is SCRATCHING...

I have a knee that occasionally rocks completely out of the socket, just long enough to make me see stars, then rocks right back into place. So I feel like a total wuss for the greenish tinge to my face, and the whimpering I'm trying to suppress. My lamaze breathing that I learned before Big O's arrival has done more for my knee than during either of my 8 lb bowling balls getting punched out of my vajayjay.

Why bring this up? Because after Little O's final tee ball game, the coach took us all to Crackdonald's. In trying to squeeze past someone to get into our booth, my knee did the old rock and roll maneuver, and the Honey watched all of the color drain from my face. I did not blow chunks, and I did not cry (it was a close one on both of those options, though). I sat there breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth until my eyes were no longer crossed, and a week later, I am fine except for a slight limp and a very tight knee.

Man, is that bitch tight. It feels like I want to crack it, but I really envision my whole knee exploding if I were to attempt it. But it's just a sick sick temptation to push it just THAT much further as I am stretching it--because it's soooo close to being normal again. I am craving that release of tension. It's like getting to just before that point, you know, THAT point, and then getting a pat on the shoulder and he goes to sleep. I can't divorce my knee.

But I could pop it...

5 comments:

Irreverent Antisocial Intellectual said...

I have the same knee issue - it's horrible, isn't it?
The only thing that keeps me gritting my teeth and pushikng the thing back into its socket (I have to do it myself now ... it no longer self-fixes), is that I don't want the surgery needed to fix it.
Yeah, that wasn't much help to you ... sorry.
But I do know how excruciating that is, if misery would like a little company.

Factor 10 said...

I think I just turned green again. I shudder at the thought of it STAYING popped out. craaaaaap.

Not So Anonymous Michelle said...

Man that sounds NASTY!! EWW!! I can imagine that nursemaid's elbow my daughter had a few weeks ago must have sucked like that since her elbow came popped out that way...

Sorry but the dirty mind in me thought "Man, is that bitch tight" was hilarious

bananas62 said...

ouch!!!!!I have no other comment! but being MOM your not allowed to hurt, be in pain.. you know you just have to suck it up!!!! It blows being mom sometimes!

Mert said...

Oh man, do i know that feeling! You poor thing! i have an elbow that is not tennis elbow but mousing elbow. I used to be able to snap my arm out and po the joint, but now my elbow hurts so bad i can't do it. i tried it once a few months ago and that's all it took for me to NOT EVER want to try to pop it again.

I hope you feel batter soon.