Friday, July 6

No one is ever going to believe that I didn't do it on purpose.

I have a thing about public restrooms, and using even the one at work is a last resort. 
 
My back teeth are floating if I'm peeing here.
 
I walked into the loo a few minutes ago and almost considered peeing outside.  Good lord, the STENCH.
 
I held my breath and frantically searched for the OUST which is kept on hand for just such occasions.  Nope.  None.
 
Did what I had to do and was washing my hands when the evil accountant walked in.  She froze in the doorway with a look of horror.  She muttered a faint prayer and managed to look me in the eye. 
 
"I know.  It hit me when I walked in, too, and there isn't any air freshener."
 
You know what? 
 
She is the evil accountant, and I can hold a grudge like nobody's business, but I am a decent human being.
 
I ran to the front of the office and grabbed the tiny air freshener concentrate that is supposed to be on a time release.  I ran back and sprayed two good doses into the bathroom.
 
"I hope this helps."
 
"Anything would," was the reply from the stall.
 
I ran away feeling like my good deed had been done.
 
But as I sit here and the mango scented cloud is emanating from the back, I fear that I forgot just how concentrated that stuff is.
 
She still hasn't come out, and I am afraid we're going to find her unconscious from the toxic blend of sewer mango.
 
**************************
 
Oh thank Dog, she made it out.
 
Wait, are her eyes crossed? 
 
 

4 comments:

Mert said...

Sewer mango, ROFL!

It doesn't matter what I do, my husband ends up hating all air fresheners because eventually they become associated with the smell of poo. it doesn't matter if you spray it for other odors than poo, he still attributes a poo smell to it and gags.

"It smells like somebody sh*t an apple", he'll say. I told him it'[s still better than JUST smelling HIS poop wafting through the house.

ShadowUnderg said...

I got a friend that won't take a crap anywhere but his house...sad....so sad.

kim said...

bwaaahahahaaha ...ya should have locked her in there ;)

crse said...

You know? This may not be a good thing? But I have no qualms telling ANYBODY who encounters me in that situation that im not responsible for that smell. I agree with Kim. You should have locked her in!