Wednesday, July 11

Not technically Drunk Blogging


To Go -- fancy and tasty
Originally uploaded by lindes.

I went to a fah-ncy restaurant tonight, to say farewell to a favorite co-worker.
I may have imbibed more than one glass of wine.
Possibly two-threeish?

I never drink anymore.

We'll call this buzz blogging.

I thought it was a french restaurant, it was actually just good food.

I had pan seared ahi tuna with wasabi mashed potatoes.

It was art. A giant gob of green potatoes with four pretty tuna steaks, topped with a big frizzy spray of fried noodles.

This was all on the uber boss' dime, and it was heavenly. But the Honey was stuck with crack donalds while I ate art. I could at least share a little of my bounty.

I was careful to save easily a quarter of my green taters and one entire steak for a to go box. I noticed other people were holding back, so I figured I was golden. The snooty waiter (who also really needed to pluck that unibrow) took my plate without asking if I needed a box, and since it was so clearly a neatly trimmed quarter of a piece of art, I thought ooo-la-laa, I'll get a foil swan, and all will be right with the world.

Did I mention they were clearing to make way for the grand marnier souffle?

HWah-hwah-hoh-haaaa! (that was my cheesy french laugh, phonetically)

I turned just in time to see that dirty mock frenchman plop the evil accountant's seafood alfredo on top of my plate. Smashing my beautiful quarter gob of green wasabi potatoes. Burying my perfectly seared ahi.

AIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Okay, I screamed silently in my head, distracted only by the steam burns from my souffle. My foodie soul is still screaming.

Jacques Unibrow killed my aluminium dream.

As my old friend Galen would say,

Fuck the French.

6 comments:

Pendullum said...

I hear hell is paved with wasabi potaotes and alfredo...and perfectly seared ahi... and trimmed with aluminum broken swans...

Not So Anonymous Michelle said...

Oh fun! An aluminum swan! I remember when we went to Vegas and stayed at Paris Hotel when I won a trip for my sales at the cable company, we entered our room to find towels folded like swans or something like that! There was lots of fancy stuff on this trip, it was fun!

Mama en Fuego said...

I don't know why we are so worried about the Mexican's it the French we should be trying to keep out!

crse said...

Freaking snail suckers. I hate it when they do that no matter what the restaurant is. Dont screw me out of my food at denny's and dont screw me out of it at chez merde!

kim said...

damn! i left before the boss sprang for an expensive french dinner out ?

AND i got a company bbq? wtf?
i knew she was doing the boss :)~

Maria said...

I smiled all through this one. Nice blog...

We are going to California next week. My partner has an Apple seminar, but I am being a tourist. I haven't been to California in over TWENTY years.

I just have to remember not to wear my corncob hat.....:)