Saturday, August 18

La Virgin de guadalupe quiere mi nina.

Maria wrote a lovely post about her saint candles. I am not Catholic. Not really religious. I was raised Seventh Day Adventist, back when they stuck to their guns and didn't allow vanities like make-up or competitive sports. I am amused to hear from my mom the kinds of things allowed at SDA these days. My parents drifted away when church became more of a social event than a spiritual one. Every once in a while my mom will startle me with a SDA belief or attitude.

My poor MIL is about to have kittens because Little O is still not baptized. My problem is that I am not raising her as a Catholic. The Honey pooh-poohs this as a minor detail, but it's HUGE to me. I may not go to church, but I'm not going to go into the Big Guy's house and LIE. My former SIL is a devout Catholic. We went to church with her on high holy days whether we liked it or not, because she was, for a ll intents and purposes, the Matriarch of the family. I listened to the Catholic Baptism carefully, as Big O was supposed to be baptized, too. You are vowing, BEFORE GOD, that you will raise your child in the Catholic faith. The god parents aren't there as part of your long term planning to care for your child, they are there to impart the Catholic line if you fail in that duty.

Okay, number one, the Catholicism practiced by MIL is markedly different from that of my former sister-in-law. Most of the family doesn't really tow the line in terms of attendance, even, so who would we choose as Godparents? Because proposing the elder sister of my Ex kinda went over like a lead balloon. The Ex thought I could just stand up there with a wink and a nudge to the Big Guy, and I think the Honey is much the same, but I am just not far enough removed from my upbringing to go THERE. If I vow to raise my kid as a Catholic, she will GO to church, and since I am not Catholic, who'd take her?

(cricket chirping)


Having said that, I envy people who have the comfort of religion, because I haven't found anything that really fits. Someday I will explore my bizarre reaction to Judaism, but I'm definitely not a Catholic. It doesn't help that I think Pope Benedict looks evil and creepy. I am sorry that MIL is so unhappy about it.


Queen of Dysfunction said...

You know, as a Catholic I applaud your decision to forego the baptism. I don't have anything against non-Catholics but I always kind of roll my eyes at people who just! have! to have! their kids baptized Catholic!

...and then never show up to church or live the lifestyle.

(In other words; good on you!)

Factor 10 said...

I have seen a lot of good things through my ex SIL's faith, and it has certainly served her well. I just don't think it's THE ONE for me. (I think I'm a hyper liberal Jew...) When I do consider religion I take it pretty seriously, thanks to my upbringing.
My whole impetus for this post was that lttle Catholic things are creeping into my house. I find tiny saint pictures mixed in amongst my knick knacks, there's suddenly a Jesus picture stuffed behind my key rack. I think it's a cultural Catholicism rather than a religious one. I'm waiting for a candle to show up...

Maria said...

I think that what I have noticed in my life as a Catholic (the first 21 years of my life) was that there are so many in that faith who sort of bend the rules...

I never understood that. I mean, find a church and abide by it.

The trouble is finding the church, ya know?

crse said...

I.LOVE.YOU. My brother married a catholic girl who made him go through the whole rigamarole. Before the wedding, she asked him if he minded going to the classes and all that. He said, not if you mind if I lie the whole time. (I love my brother). The girls are baptised, and raised catholic. Ive never heard one instance besides those baptisms where sil or the girls have been to church. My brother figured The Big Guy was in on the joke and had no problem standing there!

kim said...

Youre a fantastic mom and you just stand up and do what you've been doing all along ... and keep looking for that church that has a good balance of what you believe. I dont do organized religion but now that I live in a smaller town, it seems more doable? Everyone sees church as part of the community, and they have GREAT youth groups.
I wish you were here, I miss you more than I can tell ya! *hugs* love you

SQT said...

I'm actually going through this with my husband too. We were both raised Catholic and it's been bugging him that the kids aren't baptized.

There's nothing like Catholic guilt is there?

We don't go to church and I am about as lapsed as a lapsed Catholic can get.

I finally told my husband if it's so important to him he could drag his hind end over to the church and see about getting it done rather than waiting for me to do it (as usual). Of course, since the chore is now on him to do the kids are still not baptized and he still hasn't even gone to the church to look into it.

Isn't it funny how the urgency goes away when someone else won't do the job for you?

Factor 10 said...

Kimmy, I think other churches are much more laid back about it, and I think the sense of community IS fabulous.

OF my former in-laws, only SIL was devout, and went to church regularly, sons were altar boys, the whole nine yards. I was always miserable on high holy days when she would guilt her brothers into coming, because she got us there early. I knew some little old lady was standing up in the back while I took up valuable space in the pews.

It just adds to the madness that now my in-laws speak spanish. I had almost mastered when to pop up, and the "and also with you" choruses, but going with MIL means it's throwing out vatican 2 and speaking in tongues. I speak franken-spanish. " goood....where bathroom..."

Sunday we went to see an Aunty in from Mexico, and they asked me about baptizing Little O. I tried to explain, and a cousin got what I was saying.

(And Hi SQT!)