Wednesday, September 5

13 Things to do on a Slow day when Internet access has been DENIED

1. Crossword.
 
2. Mock your co-workers' terrible typos.  Yesterday's Crossword.
 
3. Making up tragicomical life stories for the people walking up to pay before they open the door.  (Crack for breakfast.  The weight of his giant mustache makes him walk funny.  Crack for breakfast.  They are sitting in the car fighting over the look he gave the hoochie that just walked by.  Crack for breakfast.  He's a Virgo, his hobbies are Trans Am maintenance and Meth cooking, and he has a Myspace Page that lists him as 21.)
 
4. Don't laugh at the stories, or when they walk into the door that doesn't open--this is less fun since we added a please use other door sign, but we had to.  It's awkward to talk to them when they still have a doorprint on their face.
 
5.  Excel spread sheet Boggle.  (God, we're so sad)
 
6.  Rant again about how much I hate Jon Bon Jovi, and Fergie should stick to slutty pop songs--that big girl song is getting old fast.
 
7.  Movin' on to Sunday's Crossword.
 
8.  Add a running commentary to someone else's conversation--they have a phone call, the lucky bastard.  Go back to the crossword.
 
9.  Cover the stack of crosswords when the boss walks by, not to be sneaky, just out of respect.  Okay, now what do you have for fifty-six down?
 
10.  Does anyone know how to make one of those paper footballs the guys used to make in grade school?
 
12.  Mock the cutting edge fashion choices made by fresh hip young interior designers in Domino Magazine.  (FYI? When they tell you it's a budget decorating magazine?  They mean the budget of a small third world country.) 
 
13.  Develop a deeper understanding and appreciation for the subtleties and nuances of Bill Murray's performance in Caddyshack.  I hate gnats.  Where are they coming from?  I will kill them all.  I'll never be a Buddhist.





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18 comments:

Queen of Dysfunction said...

You can always learn to write with the hand opposite the one you usually use. That's what I did when I had boring jobs. Ugh.

maggie said...

Not sure I could make it all the way to the end. LOL

WorksForMom said...

This was funny. Good point about Bill Murray, hhmmmm. Now if only I was good at crossword puzzles.

Kota Bear said...

Awesome T13. A fun one for if you work in a call center is to spin in circles in your chair while informing the confused (and computer illiterate) individual on the other end of the line that, no, the shiny side of the CD does NOT face up when placed in the CD tray and NO, it is physically impossible to turn on your computer if you leave the power cable disconnected. (I've actually had to answer these two questions before. Thank heavens I'm no longer in call centers, eh?)

Happy T-13!

Nap Warden said...

I can't do a crossword to save my life...poor me.

No Nonsense girl said...

Sucks to be denied access to the net...

My answer would be that I could actually work!!! LOL!!!

Nicholas said...

Boggle is sad??

Factor 10 said...

lol, no Boggle ROCKS, but making up boggle boards and emailing them back and forth on excel spreadsheets is sad!

Buck Naked Politics said...

How fun -- and creative. Now, if we could just teach this generation's children to have fun without the use of electricity.

Christine said...

Sounds like your job is somewhat boring - am impressed that you have such a passion for crosswords.

Robin said...

Funny funny list. I haven't thought about Caddyshack in years.

Sparky Duck said...

wait wait wait Excel Boggle?

Ash said...

excellant list m'dear. I'm afraid I'm a complete failure at crosswords. Useless knower of knowledge I am, good speller I am not.

Mert said...

Paper football, loved that! Check it!

Loved your list, especially the crack for breakfast and door imprints... how do you not laugh?

BTW... thank you for being my fwend. ;)

Melissa said...

Hey there--

I'm working on a story for Glamour magazine about tattoo regret and found this post:
3. I regret my tattoo. At twenty a Jack Daniels Bottle is very rock and roll. At thirty-six it’s feeling a little skank-ish. Plus it’s hard to explain to your O’s.

I'm wondering if you'd be willing to be quoted in Glamour about this. Let me know. Thanks!

Melissa

Bunny said...

Great 13! I ::heart:: Boggle!! Haven't found a linux version since the conversion. If anyone knows of one . . .

Happy T13!

JO said...

i can never complete a crossword puzzle... poor me...

happy TT

crse said...

OMG if you are quoted in glamour i may ask you to marry me!!!