Fat Pants Log, August 21.
(I AM a geek, after all)
I do not own a scale. The boss sponsoring the weight loss contest at work has taken his scale home and has not brought it back despite the mewling pleas of the remaining three contestants. BUTT...er, but...
I am wearing an absurd pair of beige striped pants that I had put away as unwearable. They are, in fact, 18's, and while I'm still not convinced they would not appear in a glamour magazine "Don't"(with the nifty black box across my ass, I mean eyes), they are once again comfortable. And my work Polo, which was tragically shrunk to pornographic (given my anatomical layout) proportions, is once again fit for decent society. It's loose enough that you cannot count the rolls of backfat or tell the temperature while reading the logo over the left breast (a favorite parlor game of the great unwashed that come into our lobby).
So, Nikki, Sayre, Other hapless OLTA participants, sharpen your poetry skills, because I'll be wanting it in verse. Stanzas, if you will. Can anybody tell me what iambic pentameter really means? I'll leave you with a recommendation:
Oh Yeah, Baby!
3 comments:
You are evil, evil, evil! But Congratulations on the pants anyway!
This year, when I put on the Santa suit - I want to STUFF it! I didn't have to last year. Very sad...:(
Brushing up on my bowing skills. You know... for all the applause I shall be receiving!
Awesome Jen! (i can totally relate to the pornographic t-shirt problem)
Yup. Iambic pentameter refers to the pattern of a line of 10 syllables, with stress on the second, fourth, sixth, eighth and tenth syllables.
Example: "To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells" from John Keats' ode To Autumn.
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