Did You Ever Get the Feeling...

...that Darwin is DEAD? That somewhere along the lines evolution ground to a halt, and we're sliding backwards? Once medical science was able to overcome Survival of the Fittest, and people too stupid to breed were brought back from the brink, it began. When the good ole boy whose last words should have been "hey man, watch this" is saved, and good people die of cancer or car accidents--the balance is out of whack. The gene pool is decidedly cloudy these days.

Showing posts with label Thursday Thirteen. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 5

13 Things to do on a Slow day when Internet access has been DENIED

1. Crossword.

2. Mock your co-workers' terrible typos. Yesterday's Crossword.

3. Making up tragicomical life stories for the people walking up to pay before they open the door. (Crack for breakfast. The weight of his giant mustache makes him walk funny. Crack for breakfast. They are sitting in the car fighting over the look he gave the hoochie that just walked by. Crack for breakfast. He's a Virgo, his hobbies are Trans Am maintenance and Meth cooking, and he has a Myspace Page that lists him as 21.)

4. Don't laugh at the stories, or when they walk into the door that doesn't open--this is less fun since we added a please use other door sign, but we had to. It's awkward to talk to them when they still have a doorprint on their face.

5. Excel spread sheet Boggle. (God, we're so sad)

6. Rant again about how much I hate Jon Bon Jovi, and Fergie should stick to slutty pop songs--that big girl song is getting old fast.

7. Movin' on to Sunday's Crossword.

8. Add a running commentary to someone else's conversation--they have a phone call, the lucky bastard. Go back to the crossword.

9. Cover the stack of crosswords when the boss walks by, not to be sneaky, just out of respect. Okay, now what do you have for fifty-six down?

10. Does anyone know how to make one of those paper footballs the guys used to make in grade school?

12. Mock the cutting edge fashion choices made by fresh hip young interior designers in Domino Magazine. (FYI? When they tell you it's a budget decorating magazine? They mean the budget of a small third world country.)

13. Develop a deeper understanding and appreciation for the subtleties and nuances of Bill Murray's performance in Caddyshack. I hate gnats. Where are they coming from? I will kill them all. I'll never be a Buddhist.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Wednesday, April 25

Thursday Thirteen -Giving Back

This was a Christmas post, originally, but I could not find thirteen Charities that had gotten to me as thoroughly as the ones listed below. So I put it off. Number Seven made me decide to post it anyway, because it was such a powerful reminder about the little things.

I honestly do not need more STUFF for Mother's day. If I got a day without fighting, where someone else did the dishes, my kids played all day, and (okay, get me some flowers) Cheerios in bed, I'll still be the luckiest girl in the world. So if your mom knows how much STUFF she has, consider some flowers and a donation in her name to one of these charities.
************
We are all, each and every one of us in the blogosphere, with our computers, our heat, our food, so lucky. I read an amazing post by my blogfriend Sayre, Which you can read here.
You know that brother-in-law who has everything? Bake him some cookies to unwrap, and buy him a cow, or a goat.
Is there a veteran on your list? Give them the privilege of buying a wounded soldier some needed toiletries as they recover in the hospital.
Does someone in your family love kids? Buy mosquito nets for a mother who loves her kids in Africa.

Here are thirteen ways you can beat the Christmas Machine that starts grinding us up in July (not as much of an exaggeration as it used to be!). I hope one of these will strike a chord as something eminently DO-able this Christmas season, without invoking Sally Struthers or that nice bearded man who creeps me out with the children's photos he pimps.

1. This is the story of a goat that changed a girl's life, probably all of her families' lives, and quite possibly her entire village. It was made possible by Heifer. (No, not that cow that cut you off in traffic, she was a heffa, this is www.Heifer.org)

2. Send things to the wounded soldiers at Walter Reed. I copied this straight from an email my boss sent me.

Things they need:

WISH LIST FOLLOWS (Please, no used items or money.):
1. Prepackaged candy, cookies, and crackers (no homemade) (See NOTE Below)
2. Weight lifting gloves (for wheelchair patients - and there are many of them)
3. Pillows stuffed with polystyrene beads (very soft)
4. Postage Stamps
5. Pre-Paid Phone Cards (120 Minute and up)
6. Flannel Pajamas
7. Shoes (size 9-12)
8. Sweatshirts / Jackets (zipped & hooded)
9. Break-away trousers (snaps or zips along legs)
10. Coats & Jackets (cold weather)
11. Gloves (cold weather)
12. Scarves (cold weather)
13. Backpacks (all black with single strap across the chest)
14. Carry-on size luggage (with wheels if possible)
15. Electric Razors
16. Umbrellas
17. Credit Cards, Prepaid (Gas, Gift cards & Food for Giant & Safeway nearby)
18. Portable DVD Players
19. DVDs -Action to Comedy (use common sense as far as content and subject)
20. Portable CD Players and CD’s

The wounded, being treated at the hospital, include all branches of the Armed Forces (Army, Marines, Sailors, Air Force, National Guard, and Coast Guard, both men and women). The Family Assistance Center provides assistance to the wounded during their stay at the hospital and the family member (normally spouse or mother of the wounded individual).
Because of the land mines and Improvised Explosive Devices (IEDs), there are many amputees in wheelchairs that must be pushed from place-to-place within the hospital and grounds, and from their quarters to the various clinics. When wounds are from mines and IEDs, they include multiple wounds to all parts of the body involving all clinics from A to Z.
Because of the expedient method to get them from the battlefield to WRAMC, the wounded arrive with nothing. Their personal items are in Iraq or Afghanistan to be shipped to them later. Therefore, the wounded men and women need many critical items to sustain them. If you would like to contribute items, the address to mail the items to (or drop off items) is:
WALTER REED ARMY MEDICAL CENTER
MEDICAL FAMILY ASSISTANCE CENTER
BUILDING 2, 3RD FLOOR, ROOM 3E01
6900 GEORGIA AVENUE, N.W.
WASHINGTON, D.C. 2001

Link: http://wramc.army.mil/Soldiers/MedFac1/index2.htm

3. Nothing But Nets is an effort by Sports Illustrated Magazine, of all people. Mosquitoes still equal death in Africa, where children die of Malaria in astonishing numbers. This charity works with the World Heath Organization buying mosquito nets to protect the kids at night. I dunno, it was an editorial on the last page of the Honey's Sports Illustrated, and this piece, along with Sayre's blog, made me do this for my list this week. Even dumb jocks can save a life. With little to no effort, they can spare a mother's child from death. Not just sickness, DEATH. Incredible.
4. Any Soldier has so many opportunities to give back to our heroes. You can just have the kids write letters--Believe me, I know how tight a budget runs this time of year, but these men and women aren't home with their loved ones while we are home safe with ours. There are other opportunities listed here, and some very specific lists, but a letter? It costs virtually nothing but time and love.
5. The Salvation Army. You know those red kettles? They really DO do a lot of good. I went to school with a girl whose parents were in charge of the Salvation Army where I grew up. They helped people on a day to day basis, with a dedication that was truly admirable.
6. Um, could we all teach our kids the basic courtesies, and use them ourselves? Please and Thank you really could change the world, I think. Too many people have forgotten how and why to use them.
7. I read the best post at a blog that I lurk at every once in a while. So many people have addressed the Virginia Tech Tragedy, and done it well, but this post made me think of how we can salvage a lesson from such a horrific event, rather than point fingers.
If you do nothing else with this list, read this post.

8. Read the end of the Wednesday Hero post below, about the grandma raising her grandbaby. On top of being in the hospital, she has lost everything. Here's the story via the local CBS affiliate. I can't do the group trust exercise, I cannot imagine the guts and fear it took to fall straight out of that window.

Okay, Okay, I cheated. It's nowhere near thirteen. You can yell at me in comments. But go read #7.

Wednesday, April 11

13 ways you might qualify for the Dorkteenth...

1. Have you ever worn your coat/sweater inside out?

2. Accidentally told your boss you loved him/her?

3. Made a situation worse by trying to explain what really happened?

4. Required the fire department to rescue you or put something out?

5. Been forced to admit that you may have been overstating it to say "we don't need no steeenking maps"

6. Locked yourself out of (or inside of) anything?

7. Had to post a comment on your own comment on someone else's blog?

8. Thought to yourself--I should pick up that penny--just as you sucked it into the vacuum, killing yet another home appliance for all time.

9. Hit the "reply all" button by mistake and emailed the joke to the entire company?

10. Lost your keys, permanently?

11. Looked down in horror at one black and one blue sock or shoe combo?

12. Thrown the mother of all hissy fits at a retail establishment, only to realize that you are, in fact, in the wrong?

13. Have you ever really INTENDED to enter a fun giggly contest, but forgot and missed the deadline?

Is Here!

Get your Dork On!

Thursday Thirteen participants can leave their linky in THIS box, but go register for the Dorkteenth, and put your link to your entry in THAT box! You'll make new friends, and they'll already know you're a dork!

Wednesday, April 4

TT #32: I will be the Dork at the Prom. Even the virtual prom.

Mert has turned me on to something glorious.

It's the virtual prom, and it's for a great cause!

My Thursday Thirteen is in honor of the Virtual Prom.

1.This is the story of the Virtual Prom. There's actually a real prom going on, too, but we can buy tickets for the virtual prom and still give to a good cause.

2. Miz Mary Mert psoted about it on her blog and I was hooked.

3. But I was the socially inept classic gawky girl, and never went to a prom. I got brave and asked the nicest, safest boy I knew if he'd go with me to the junior prom, and he turned me down. The fact that he came out two months later made me feel much better.

4. In honor of David T., where ever he may be, here is a photo of my virtual Prom date:

Please note the sylish Manpri pants that my date is wearing. I realize that living with a traditional Mexican male may cloud my perspective here, but I'm thinking this guy has probably made an announcement verrrry similar to David T.'s. Just a hunch.

5. What to wear, what to wear. I am no spring chicken, but nor am I eating my supper at 4:30. Maybe not a traditional PROM dress...something modern...

Please note that this ensemble comes in plus sizes. A very important feature, as I am, in fact, a plus sized girl. The fact that certain parts of me are bigger plusses than others makes me think that maybe some support is in order. The girls are rather epic...Has anyone really thought about the timeless fashion debate--just because things CAN be made in Big girl sizes does not mean that they SHOULD?

6. Maybe a nice suit?

Hmmm... those stripes on a big girl could turn into the flag of some obscure southern hemisphere nation.

7. Perhaps a single unifying color?

MMMmmm, the hat could be a problem. I need good peripheral vision to safely navigate the dance floor. Although I can dust the hell out of it with that dust ruffle at the bottom...

8. Maybe something with a simple cut, but a nice subdued pattern?

Again, how lovely that this company makes this stunner in plus sizes. Not sure I can properly express my gratitude.

9. Well, I still have time to look for a dress, I guess. I was thinking about how I'd like my makeup. I've been cruising the MAC counter, but I haven't spotted THIS look.

The possessed-by-an-unholy-demon-that-is-about-to-consume-your-soul look--very nice. She also kind of looks like Christine Baranski (SP?). She was the Who that boffed the grinch in the live action film...

10. Let's not forget the all important undergarments.

11. Okay, seriously, it's a lovely cause and I encourage you all to go read the story and buy a ticket if you have extra money hanging around in PayPal.

12. Now on to serious things...Are you ready for the Dorkteenth?

13. Go to Dorkbloggers to see Mert's Prom Dress....

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Wednesday, March 28

Thirteen Cases of You Say Tomato

13 Cases of You say Tomato, I say psychopathic/germophobic/unlicensed witchdoctor/craptastic parenting. (Because I AM a perfect parent, thank you, Bre!)

1. By singing along with Carrie Underwood, am I teaching my daughter to be a trashy psychopath? Because that cheating song is catchy and much fun to sing, but if I think about the lyrics, it just screams pSyChO. Don’t know the words? Something like this:
I dug my keys into the side
Of (This/his) pretty little souped up four-wheel-drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
Took a Louisville slugger to both headlights
Slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats. Now I’ll admit to a momentary urge to slap the shit out of the silly bitch when I discovered evidence of the ex’s faithlessness--but then he would have cried, and it was soooo not worth the drama.
2. I was a picky eater. I empathize when my kid doesn’t want to eat something. I’m not making four separate dinners, but I’ll make the kids something if I know we’re having something they find ick. This drives the Honey crazy, since it means that my kids aren’t really game for new exotic foods at his mother’s. I see his point, but man, I was such a picky eater, and I had to take a bite of everything. At least a bite. I would sit at the table for hours facing down my bite of cottage cheese. Eating Cottage cheese was like swallowing vomit to me, and I could not do it. Why my mom loved it so much and served it on a regular basis I cannot fathom
3. Germs. Are you crazy about them? I must confess, I am pretty laid back about it all. I was reading a blog and the author confessed that she took her kids to the “germ pit” aka mall play place. Dude, I love those places. Little O can run herself ragged without having to buy a Crappy Meal.
4. But I am also the one that made the baby’s bottle from tap water. (I heard that gasp of horror) When the time came to switch to formula (Sorry, not a twelve month breastfeeder), I just didn’t see the point in buying special water. I am a big believer in building immunities to the ick of the world through repeated low dose exposures.
5. We don’t do anti-bacterial products in the house, and use them sparingly out in the big bad world. The waterless aspects are too good to pass up, but anit-bac? Not so much.
6. My girlfriend had her daughter on an endless stream of anti-biotic treatments—to the point that she could just call the office and the nurse would call over another re-fill to the pharmacy. No visit, no discussion of symptoms. Isn’t that inherently bad medicine? What if she ever really gets an infection that requires antibiotics? She will be the walking supervirus-resistant to every medicine known to man, baby.
7. I hate the ticklers of the world. When we were kids, there was a man that we adored. But he tickled long past the point of funny or fun. He was not a bad man, there was nothing creepy or inappropriate, he just took things too far. Teasing kids to the point of crying and then mocking them for being babies? Equally Unfunny.
8. Keep track of your children, people. When I worked at B&N, people would drop their young grade schoolers off at the kid’s dept. and go socialize at the other end of the store. WTF? Your cutie pie firstgrader, without an ounce of guile or any natural inhibitions is chatting up the hobo who’d better stop scratching himself soon or I’ll have to intervene. Put down your fricking latte and be a parent. After I left, they were finally allowed to put up signs reminding parents to keep kids in sight. I still see people walk away from their kids. Sigh.
9. Does anyone have superstitious old-world in-laws? Here are a few things that I had never heard of until I gave birth to a Mexican-American princess:
10. Laying a red string on her forehead to cure her tiny baby hiccups. Nobody ever tries to do this to grown-ups, I notice.
11. The belly band to cover the umbillicus until it falls off. Even though they make diapers that go around it, you are supposed to wrap this weird soft piece of material twice around the belly, TIE it to them, and that way you protect the tender belly button. Hey, the BONUS? You then save the piece of flesh that fell off. Is there a spot for that in YOUR baby book?
12. When the soft spot is sunken, it DOESN”T mean she’s getting dehydrated, it means we need to take her to the witch doctor/native (Read unlicensed) chiropractor dude so he can push up on the roof of her mouth and “pop” her soft spot. So you want me to let some guy you know shove his thumb into my tiny daughter’s brainpan?
13. How young is too young to be walking home alone? Too young to be walking on the street AT ALL with no supervision? I live in an okay neighborhood, but Big O is only now (At 11) able to go out and wander the neighborhood without me. I see toddlers out in the yards without anyone out with them. Don’t these people watch TV? Have they ever checked the Megan’s law site for their area? Because I have, and I’m not happy. But at eleven, I can’t really chain him to his bed, and outside activities are healthy. Kids belong outside. We’ll talk about organized sports another day, my friends.

Thursday, March 22

Thirteen Reasons for Friday the Dorkteenth

Thirteen Reasons to join in the fun on

1. Maybe you have been in the dork closet for a long time, and this could help you break the news to your family (thanks, MERT!)

2. Hasn’t the whole black cat thing been done to death? Do we need one more news story about the origins of the superstition? Be a part of the NEW Friday the thirteenth tradition.

3. This is not the big commitment of other, WEEKLY memes. How many Friday the thirteenths do we get in a year?

4. Think of it as the blogging equivalent of a one-night-stand. You don’t HAVE to, but wouldn’t it be fun? Just this once?

5. We double-dorkk dare you to post your dorkiest moment.

6. You can totally vote for yourself once a day! Jeez, if you want to vote from multiple ISP’s, you really are a dork, and probably NEED the title.

7. Because we are whores for traffic.

8. Make new bloggy friends, and they’ll already KNOW you’re a dork. So much more comfortable to just get that one out of the way.

9. Read the dorktales of your bloggy idols. If they play.

10. Hot Dork on Dork action! (Okay, I just wanna see if we get a google hit on that one)

11. Because you may spit milk out of your nose, reading about knocking over the voting booth, or locking oneself in the garden shed.

12. You get to diplay the button ala Mert*, our techno Dork Goddess:

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

*The lawyers would like us to state that the Button ala Mert in no way resembles the Venus Butterfly of LA Law fame. Dear God, I AM a dork.

13. Who are we kidding? It’s all about the glory- Be declared the Prince(ss) of Dorkness!

Whaddya mean you've never heard of it?
Oh, all right, go HERE

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in the magical linky box provided. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

p.p.s.--send your good thoughts to DK at A Flyover Blog. She's one of my favorite TTers and she could use some lovin'.

Wednesday, March 14

Thursday 13-Vacation Sucks Haikus

Thirteen Vacation Sucks Haiku--haikus? nah, gotta be haiku. haikooses?

Inspired by my bloggy hero, Casual Slack

Called the city guy
please sir can I have some more
Axe falls on Friday

Co-worker bite me
No one called about my house
Thanks for the support

Clean Cleaner Cleanest
I hate the smell of pine sol
Want to go to work

Fingernails are gone
fumes creeping into my brain
oooh, pretty colors

die-die-die-die-die
scrub, scrub, scrub a dub dub, dub
Mr Clean, suck this

my son is grounded
much like the food in his rug
cleaned his room, my ass

i am so tired
he is sleeping, why not me?
coffee is my friend

quit blogging and clean
how can you be so stupid
they'll be here Friday

Aw, look at the snaps!
Little O with my mom-oh, crap
Distracted again

Must invite in-laws
"Come to dinner and judge me"
Good thing I like them

Wait, didn't I just
Empty this stupid vacuum?
Love my bagless vac.

must buy more coffee
and some steak ASAP
on my knees already

Last Haiku, thank you
back to the wretched cleaning
what a vacation

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I have a magical linky box that is, apparently, functional again. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Wednesday, February 28

Thursday 13 #28--the weak one.

I know I've had some lame TT's lately. Life has been so busy with actual life-type things! Here are Thirteen life type things from my life.

1. Little O had her first school photo taken today. Let me explain that I am in AWE of the women in my Mother-in-law's neighborhood. Their little girls have these laser guided parts, and silky smooth ponytails. They look like they belong in catalogs. My daughter, on the other hand (and the REAL proof that she IS my daughter in spite of her loathing for mashed potatoes) looks like she just fell out of the the tilt-a-whirl. Or maybe that I tried to put her hair into ponytails while ON the tilt-a-whirl. I may have been overly stressed this morning.

2. The honey started laughing as I pulled the third set of horribly askew ponytails out of her head this morning. Then he told me about his sister's school picture where her ponytails were totally screwy. He said that's why everyone loves school pictures, and if I get her hair perfect, it almost guarantees that she'll do the funky/cheesy/picture smile. Aw, that was just what I needed to hear. Then we agreed that I had somehow given her Nemo-like proportions (one big and healthy, one decidedly scrawny and non-functional) and we needed a fifth and final go at ponytails.

3. Because one childhood milestone wasn't enough, last night we went to the official meeting for future seventh graders and their parents. Ack. My firstborn is going into Junior High. I REMEMBER junior high. How did this happen? When did he stop wearing Pokemon T-shirts? What am I going to do with my encyclopedic knowledge of Pokemon types?

4. I saw my son sucessfully interacting with GIRLS. I tried to stay out of range so I didn't embarrass him, because again, I REMEMBER junior high. I'm not saying he was putting the moves on them (Thank you lord tiny baby Jesus), but, well, refer to the end of number three.

5. Kimmy wasn't at work and I was so horribly depressed, and it took me two days to realize WHY I was so absolutely wretched. Not that life is always peachy, but I am not really a depressed type person on a day-to-day basis. I looked and acted like death warmed over, to the point that people thought that I was sick, but once I recognized what my problem was, I could get OVER it, you know? Not that I'm over Kimmy abandoning us, but I can set it aside to be a functioning adult.

6. CRSE finally got my present, which seemed to take FOREVER. I began this theory about her thieving postal workers, but then it arrived and I had to resume my normal anna nicole and marketing blog conspiracies.

7. Thursday Thirteen was saved! Wait, I said Life-type things, huh? Screw it, blogging is a life-type thing at this point. I get a lot of free therapy via this little blog.

8. OOOh! Speaking of therapy, my work will pay for three marital-type counseling sessions for me, and then the Honey can have three as someone who is in my life, and so we get SIX session for free! I was dreading the costs, so this is a big ole plus.

9. Okay, back to blogging for a minute... Have you visited Dorkbloggers yet? It's so much fun to play, and have a place to revel in the dorkstacy. The Dorkabilities?

10. My best Jen is having a luau party for her daughter's birthday this weekend, and I am headed South to help. She just sent me an awesome photo of a snowy tree outside of her house, and I have to say, she'd better be right about the high sixties all weekend. Her husband bought us both grass skirts and coconut bras, and I have to laugh. Jen could pull it off. I, unfortunately, would look like I had some regrettable pasties on, and would terrify the children. Maybe with a few gallons of spray-tan I could look like a radioactive (cause you know I'd be orange) samoan matriarch.... Nah, I think I'll be better off using them as ear-muffs if the snow photo is any hint...

11. My parents are officially gypsies. I think they prefer that term to "homeless." They are out of thier little idyllic river retreat, and their new rental won't be available to them until May. They leave Friday for a three week adventure in Brazil, being hosted by their little exchange student's family. Several of their friends have offered them space until the new house is ready, but I can't imagine how uncomfortable it will be for them. Then again, I am the one who has issues using other people's showers, so maybe it won't be so bad for them. They are nothing if not practical.

12. Taxes. Must.File.Taxes.

13. Played Laser tag at a nephew's birthday party on Sunday. Well, they played laser tag, I played walking human target. I was beaten by seven year olds. Good fun, but hot sweaty work, when wearing a warm cozy sweater. Then one of the moms tried to scam me out of the better coupon (it expired later). In the words of Chuck aka IAI: Die mom-bots! I'll bet the mom-bot's daughter always has perfectly parted hair.

Leave me some linky love!

Wednesday, February 21

which one is this? egad, is it the last?

TT will be no more? but.. but.. I made so many friends this way! I found so many neat people and blogs! Jeez, this isn't even my best effort! I'll just have to continue doing them and letting them wander the blogosphere, sad and lonely...

13 favorite smells.

1. Onions being sauteed in butter--the beginnings of Corn Chowder when I was a kid.

2. True Romance from Bath and Body Works. It was an old Aromatherapy product. It was herbal AND floral, but not too much of either one. I loved it, which of course means that it was discontinued.

3. The coffee aisle in any grocery store. It hits you like a wall as you round the aisle, and you just linger for a minute, even if you have coffee coming out the wazoo at home.

4. Right after a spring shower has passed, the night is so crisp and clear and there is a world of possibilities in front of you. The whole world is washed.

5. The package of Red Vines has just been opened. They are sooooo fresh and plump and filled with nothing good for you. I'll trade you some red vines for some of your popcorn....

6. I was trying to save it for last but I can't. There is no sweeter scent in the world than fresh baby, smelling like baby shampoo, and wrapped in a warm, slightly damp towel, asleep on your chest. God I want another one. Slap ME!!!!! (Okay, seriously? If I could afford it? I'd be a baby factory.)

7. Another B&BW scent, Fresh Ginger Lime. Not on me, so much, but good lord, on my Honey? Meeeow! I bought it for me, smelled like bleah in the bottle but warmed up on the skin so beautifully. The honey used it once and I could have eaten him with a spoon. So you know what THAT means. Yep. Discontinued. I stopped using it so there would be more shower gel for HIM. It's gone now (sob!)

8. The cold wet slap of the briny Ocean air. I live in Northern California. I'd like to go to a warm beach some day.

9. Pumpkin pies in the oven.

10. Warm fresh bread--brown bread, french bread, beer bread, it doesn't matter.

11. Spring time at the ball park. The grass isn't actually BEING mowed, but it has been in the last day or so.

12. My honey votes for the Country after the rain--Not the shiny streets that I adore, but the rich loamy smell of the orchards , with the leaves still dripping the occasional drop. Think sunshine on this one, as opposed to my night scene.

13. Little O chooses Daffodils, but I'm note sure they actually have a scent--we just have some blooming in the backyard and she's just learned the name--totally entranced with them. We'll have to try and make it toDaffodil Hill, in the foothills, this year.

Leave me your links in comments, because mr linky no longer has love for me, and TT is, apparently, done.

Wednesday, February 7

Thursday 13 # 26?

13 songs that are pure emotive songs--instantly trigger SOME kinda reaction!

1) Back In Black--AC/DC. My first reaction? where is my drink? I should have a drink in my hand!

2) VooDoo--Godsmack. First thought? Take off your pants! (If ever there were a chill inducing/let's be bad song, that would be it)

3) Whiskey Lullaby- Brad Paisley and (I think) Allison Krause. Such a beautiful melancholy song.

4) Brick House--Another "where's my drink" song. This one also makes me think that maybe I CAN dance, maybe everyone dances badly and I'm just self concious. This is bad.

5) All Star--Smashmouth. Happy happy happy- This was the first song Big O ever claimed as "his" song.

6) Master of Puppets--Metallica. Drive. Faster--FASTER! FasterI'mdrivingI'mdriiiivingsoFAAAAST.

7) Bad--U2, thank you, NOT Michael Jackson. This song is pure emotion to me and will level me out where ever I am on the emotional richter scale.

8) Zombie--The Cranberries. Another song that is so purely emotive to me--it came on teh radio and spurred this week's list.

9) 1812 Overture. --with live cannons. My family took a trip to Oregon and in our punch drunk state, came up with "Tongue-ducting". Yeah, it's as Dorky as it sounds.

10) Baby Seat--Barenaked Ladies. the chorus? "You can't live your life in the baby seat. You've got to stand on your own, don't admit defeat."

11) Alchemy of Love--Michelle Shocked. "Silence is Golden, Words are made of Lead, and in the alchemy of love, you know, some things are better left unsaid"

12)Consequences--Robert Cray. "I was smoking and drinkin' and thinkin' when you walked by. The next thing I knew, I was makin' up my alibi."

13) Shotgun--Southern Culture on the Skids. "You cannot BUY true love, but you can shoot it's ass."

Yeah, kind of a mixed bag.
What's the song that gets to you?
hmm...my linkies from my blog and Dorkbloggers seem to be connected. interesting.

I will attempt to actually list your links! Mr linky bettah give me some love, or gimme my moolah back!

Wednesday, January 31

Thursday 13 #25

Thursday Thirteen can be seen at:

Click on the Toilet Paper!

Wednesday, January 24

Thursday 13 #23-Blogging Questions...

thursdaybanner6
Originally uploaded by Suzy0928.

There are so many fabulous looking blogs out there. Tricked out ones, ones with fabulous graphics, clever toys that pop up unexpectedly… I have expressed my lust for a pretty blog before, and while I like the clean, simple lines of this template, it’s also a little boring.

Here are my 13 Blogging Questions:

1. How do you do the strike through thing? I thought that I had the right html code, but it was wrong…

2. What could I be doing wrong that photos saved to my computer won’t show up? I looooove some of the TT headers, but I have never been able to get one to show up.

3. Is typepad better than blogger? Is it easier, or is it better for people who know their mouse from a hole in the ground?

4. What is the bloggy etiquette for blogging flickr photos? I thought that if the “blog this” button was available, permission to use had already been granted? Is that incorrect? I hope not, because I just discovered TT headers on Flickr!

5. How do you do the roll up blogrolls, so they are tucked discreetly out of the way? (Great Lakes State Of Mind)Or how about that clever box that takes up a finite amount of space, but someone can scroll down through to see the rest? Love those…

6. Header graphics—moron simple, or advanced stuff that requires opposable thumbs and a working knowledge of coding?

7. I read lots of people that I don’t comment on, because either I have nothing to say, or someone has said it before me in the comments and I’d feel like a dork just parroting someone else. Is that kind of lurking a bad thing?

8. Linky etiquette: Isn’t it wrong to throw your link into the linky box unless you also comment? I lurk, but I also don’t ask for a link without a comment.

9. What is the advantage of Haloscan comments vs. Blogger comments? (Aside from Blogger’s general brainfarts and outages)

10. Am I not a mommyblogger because I blog about other stuff, too? My kids are, I think, integrated into my blog pretty thoroughly, but not EVERY post—or am I excluded from being a mommyblog because I curse? Am I a Bad Mommyblog? Oohh, I’ve never been a rebel before… Okay, is there a category for dorkblogs?

11. I think I saw the explanation in someone’s blog the other day, but it was STILL over my head-the thing where your mouse hovers over something and a little box shows a comment by the blog author, or shows when their link was last updated—that link update thing is VERY cool.(Death’s Door)

12. Is it just annoying to blog about my family and NOT have a cast of characters to refer to?

13. Are my entries too long? (Is this the bloggy equivalent of does this blog make my ass look big?)

Sorry to be a wailing, insecure blogger. But I have this odd luck with computers—I swear it’s like I generate my own personal magnetic field and they all become just a little fey when I ‘m around them for too long.

Wednesday, January 10

Thursday Thirteen #22

13 Occasions My Inner Voice Failed me!

1. I am SO glad my coworker-with-no-formal-training has volunteered to cut my hair in time for the Honey's Christmas party tonight! After all, she can't make it look any worse than it does right now…hmm, well, I guess we can just use the work scissors.

2. I have plenty of time.

3. Oh, bubby was so cute with that little screwdriver in his hand, wait til his daddy comes home and sees how quickly he can take things apart. I'd better take it away now…where is he? He was just here!

4. Oh, that's silly. Nobody really drinks on the job. Let's just stop all of the dramatic accusations, and get back to work.

5. Ha-ha. It doesn't really mean anything that the only song my new husband and I can think of as "our song" is Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden. Nothing at all.

6. Nobody will notice one black sock and one blue.

7. I'll do it tomorrow.

8. He's too nice a guy to cheat. If I'm the bitchy one, and I wouldn't cheat, then HE would NEVER cheat.

9. A manager! I'm going to be a manager! How glamorous! Of course I'll go back to school, but how can I turn down such a fabulous opportunity to earn little to nothing—Ohh, it's salary! I'll be able to take extra time off, no problem! This is gonna be so great!

10. Wow—how mature of him to be living with his sister to save money as he goes to college. I just moved out on my own and got a low paying job in retail, paying my own way. He must be super smart and very responsible to live with his sister and her husband who do everything for him.

11. How cool to move in with your best friend—we'll be just like the Odd Couple—She's neat and I'm sloppy, but friendship can overcome silly obstacles like that! (Thank Dog our Friendship did survive that THAT adventure—love ya, Kat!)

12. If I don't open that, it means it's not going to happen.

13. How different could self rising flour be?

Wednesday, January 3

Thursday Thirteen #22-Resolutions

I, Jennfactor10, being of sound mind and questionable bodyfat, hereby declare the following 13 things to be happening in 2007:

1. Fewer sodas--44 oz. of soda is the equivalent in sugar to eating an entire chocolate cake. They gave that statistic on the radio a few years ago, and that was when I worked at the mall and would chug 2-32 oz. sodas a day. Talk about Panic! Not to mention the whole carbonated bevs leaching the calcium from your bones thing....all of those sweet little hunchbacked old ladies? Yeah, not looking to be one of them.

2. Less Coffee--since leaving the mall, I have broken the Mocha habit, but I still have a LARGE cuppa Joe each morning at work. Enough coffee goes into my system during the weekdays that I get a headache on weekends if I don't have something caffeinated.

3. Eat Breakfast--I skip breakfast all the time, and I know that's BAD. I need to start my metabolism if I'm ever going to lose weight.

4. Cook More--I need to save a little money, and cook real meals more often.

5. Bedtime--This is for Little O, who has always stayed up until daddy gets home, but she's getting older, and the Honey is going to have to get used to her being asleep when he works late--It's getting too hard on all of us!

6. I will get the Honey to the Doctor's this year--he doesn't wanna go for love nor money, but this is the year....

7. Keep House. I will subscribe to the flylady again in hopes of having a clean and shiny sink (And forty-two emails a day). Does anyone out there know of a bitchy fly lady that gets to the point and is a little more bitter about it? I appreciate the encouraging words, but I need the gist SOONER when there are forty posts to wade through. Maybe flylady light, or a separate flybaby email list?

8. Blog Blog Blog. I will post regularly and this year I will figure out photos since Flickr is not fond of the new blogger. It's boring without them!

9. Get off my butt! I will resume meeting Bre in the park to become the object of scorn and ridicule as I try to wiggle away my jiggle. Is it significant that this is listed far away from the better eating/less coffee numbers?

10. I will rid my house of all the clothes that we have not worn in the last year. Seriously, this is an ongoing issue for me.

11. I will re-arrange the furniture in my house for better feng shui. Okay, I'm kidding, but I will put things back into their logical places--my "experimental furniture grouping" was an unqualified failure.

12. Oh, Big O, you are in for a Homework REVELATION!!!!!! No more of this work that is done, but not turned in.

13. I will get my will done (i bought a do-it-yourself kit like two years ago), so that there is no question about my wishes for my kids.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
**Update--another of the people I've lost contact with that I TT'd (Like TT#4 or so...) googled herself and found me again! Yay! That make Three of Thirteen! I encourage you all to try it!

C'mon baby, give me a little Linky Love!

Thursday, December 7

Thursday Thirteen # 21-Highs and Lows of this week.

Thirteen Highs and Lows that are part of the Rollercoaster of life!

1. HIGH: I am poor. How is that a high? I have spent all week trying to come up with a list of charities and ideas for giving back for my TT, and it's not finished, so this isn't it. But I realized once again that while I am cash-poor, I am not soul wrenching, wishing my kids could eat poor, and so I am grateful to be only poor.

2. low: My clutch went out on me at lunch, and it was just the straw that broke the camel's back. I limped my car back to work in first gear, and promptly bawled like a baby in front of customers and co-workers alike. (I LOATHE public displays)

3. HIGH: The Honey grabbed a mechanic from work, and came riding to the rescue. It turns out my car, while a stick shift, has a hydraulic clutch, which requires some witches brew of oily goop. Once Pedro (Love ya, Pedro) got some witches brew into the resivoir, it was like it never happened. Except for the hysterical sobbing and cries of anguish that my poor co-workers had to endure. (Okay, I may be overstating it a bit, but I.Never.Cry.)

4. low: Rent is still due.

5. High: The company Christmas Party is this Friday, and we always have fun. Our boss is outstanding and there are prizes to win, good food to eat...No rubber chicken here!

6. low: We are often a dysfunctional little family at work, and so I will recite CRSE's Holiday Survival Guide tips and tricks for getting through the night. I especially like the Laughing out loud waaay to long and then saying "I can't believe you actually said that out loud." and then walking away.

7. HIGH: I was nominally on the committee to help out on the par-tay, and we usually get a bonus gift--yay!

8. low: In my geeky fervor to be helpful, I suggested to the girl who usually sings a solo but wasn't too hot to do it this year, that she should get some help! Sing something funny, and get a bunch of your girls up there to do it with you!
Oh, dear Dog, I've been drafted to sing, too.

9. HIGH: They liked the altered version of R_E_S_P_E_C_T by Aretha that Bre and I came up with, so if it's cheesy, at least it'll be OUR cheese.

10: low: They have flippin' choreographed the damned thing three days before we do it, and have added such charming moves as a booty shaking, hip pumping thing and lots of jumping back and forth. Have we met? Have you met my chest? Well, you may get an intro before that little routine finishes. Bre consoles me with the thought that there's always that kid at the recital. I asked her, the one who's picking his nose on camera? she said, well, I was thinking the one who can't dance, but okay. You can just be THAT kid. If I'm not that kid, I'll be the chick that fell out of her dress at the Christmas party. I could put an eye out, people. It's my very best waking nightmare. Oh, and I can't sing.

11. HIGH: My Wednesday Hero post went up this week, and I was pleased with the way it turned out.

12. low: Berta, a girl who used to work with us, went home at lunch and the apartment next door to her house had burned down. The single mom and her 5 year old daughter were standing outside in shock with nothing but their pajamas. Berta sent out an email asking for clothes.

13: HIGH: The mom wears my size! So I have a whole box of things I can get to her tomorrow. These have been some emotionally draining luch hours!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Gimme Some of that Linky Lovin'!

Wednesday, November 29

Thursday Thirteen #20-Fantasy Gifts

If someone could see to it that any one of these things is under the tree this year, I'd be terribly grateful. These are my 13 fantasy gifts for this year. I had a clever graphic for y'all, but My techno-chaos made it go haywire, much like my wierd technorati placement...sigh. Here ya go, anyway.

1. Consuelo, Our new housewife. Consuelo is just happy to be here, and loves cleaning and laundry. She only cooks traditional Mexican fare, so the honey loves her, and she does all the dishes, so I love her. She speaks Spanish so Little O can learn, and she adores Mama Dina, and has lots of juicy hometown gossip for her. Did I mention she’s magic and if I prick her with a pin, she pops like a soap bubble and re-appears when I wave the toilet brush? Or she might be like a Roomba, and just emerge when we’re not home and get it all done…hmmm, I’ll have to give this more thought before I talk to Santa.
2. A real bedroom set, involving either a lovely sleigh bed OR an ultra modern platform—super clean lines.
3. A week at a beach house with MY family, not his. I love his, but I want a week with MY family. I see his all the time.
4. The gods of employment present a job that actually makes money for my Ex, so I could ask for child support (at this point I’m afraid to file because I think I make more), and co-incidentally, the Honey is given a high paying job sampling beer.
5. POOF! My car is paid off!
6. If he can’t be given a job drinking beer, maybe he could just stop for a while…
7. My son is transformed into a straight A student, practicing his trombone without being forced, cleaning his room so Consuelo doesn’t have to.
8. Diamond Earrings the size of hailstones. Not even golf-ball sized hailstones, just something visible from space. (I am being scolded by my cubicle-mate for being practical AND wanting magic tricks instead of THINGS).
9. A ten thousand dollar gift card for Cost Plus, or, actually, Target. I could do some serious damage. Pier 1 would be nice, but not nice like Cost Plus.
10. A laptop with wireless internet that goes the speed of LIGHT. Next year I am not blogging in November, I am going to PARTICIPATE in NaNoWriMo. I’m dragging my father and my brother with me. You, too, Kat!
11. If #6 is out, maybe a half naked cabana boy with washboard abs and, tragically, an inability to speak. He still HAS a tongue, let me be clear, but no speech. He can, however, laugh at my witty asides, and appreciates my inability to clean. I’ll even share him with Consuelo if I never have to scrub anything, and never HEAR about it.
12. Hawaii. Cabo. Dublin. Fiji. Barcelona. Any of these would be acceptable.
13. A 4-bedroom house—we need an office for the computer and the Honey’s out of control sports crap, er, memorabilia. The computer currently lives in the middle of the dining room, and Little O sleeps in our room. When she outgrows that toddler bed we are so screwed…

Here's alittle Linky Love if you're feeling like you could be my Santa...

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I have inserted my magical linky box so I won't have to enter your links myself (it would NEVER happen), but leave a comment AND a link! Just reading TT's? JUMP IN!! We're a pretty friendly bunch and nothing to be afraid of! Give us a list of your favorite things! It's addicting.... Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Thursday, November 16

Thursday Thirteen # 19: Movie Moments

Thirteen Movie Moments Jen enjoys.

1. Auntie Mame- When she invites the horrible suburbanites over for drinks and has the crazy modern art sofas...and the flaming cocktails.

2. Four Weddings and a Funeral- The funeral is awful, but gets me every time when he reads the poem. It makes me want to like poetry.

3. Young Frankenstein- Almost any line from Marty Feldman in the first third of the movie. I can still probably recite them all.

4. Holy Grail- If I have to pick one spot I'll short circut, here, but the coconut shells and the whole Sir Robin bit. IF I have to choose.

5. Dude, Where's my Car?- I'm sorry. I know. It's awful. But the bit where they read the tattoos is just so totally a conversation you could overhear in California. It cracks me up. It's the left coast version of Who's on First.

6. Toy Story- When Woody leads the toys in the uprising against Syd.

7. Christmas Story- The tongue. The pole. bwahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

8. Sideways- Sandra Oh beans him with the helmet. None of this boo hoo my heart is broken--she is pissed.

9. Brigit Jones- Sliding down the pole into/onto the camera. That would SO happen to me.

10. Chocolat- The gypsy music was soooo catchy, but when I bought the soundtrack , there was only one song. I wanted to go live with those gypsies. Okay, THAT gypsy, but still.

11. Cool Hand Luke- After the egg contest, when they are thumping on Paul Newman's belly.

12. Flushed Away- If you haven't seen it, I am torn--not sure it's worth the price of admission to everyone, but the slugs are sooo worth it to ME!!!!

13. Pretty much any moment where the good guys win, regardless of how cheesy and obvious it was. I'm a sucker like that.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

Linky Love.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Thursday, November 9

Thursday Thirteen #18 13 Circles of Heck.

Thirteen things JEN could have done without this week:

1. Phone message left on my voice mail at work: "this message is for Jennifer, this is blah blah, there was an incident on your son's walk home after school, blah blah blah, the paramedics are here...blah blah blah"

2. Call the school, and it turns out Big O was was bullied by two classmates, and when they began kicking his backpack (the kind on wheels), he threw a book at the bigger one. (This all began with them teasing him for reading a book as he walked home)

3. What should a big boy do, when a book is thrown at him, but knock the other boy to the ground and start kicking him in the face? I mean, really, what other choice did he have?

4. grrrrrrrr. So I come flying up to the school expecting the worst, I mean how can you not? Big O is in the Principal's office, and he has a giant goose egg on his forehead, and this huge dark line across his nose, and his eye looks like he might have a shiner. But you know what? He's fine. I mean, remember, I AM the queen of the worst case scenario, and at this point I am so grateful to see him whole and coherent I'm ready to cry. That is why this post is about the circles of Heck. Not Hell.

5. The School district police officer tells me that I really need to file a report with the City cops, especially if I am planning on pressing charges. He tells me that the PD has been called, but it may take a while.

6. The paramedics have me sign their paperwork and tell me I should still probably take him to the ER to be checked out. (Is this why people use ER's inappropriately? I asked if I couldn't just take him to his primary care physician, and the EMT was flummoxed. It had never occurred to him.) I couldn't get us in until the end of the day, but we were still out of the DR's about ten hours sooner than we would have been out of the ER.

7. Told the school I'd keep Big O home the next day, and waited for the cops. and waited and waited.finally decided that if we'd waited that long, Big O could probably hit the hay, cancelled the request.

8. The next day, called the cops to again have a report taken, and oh, right around 4 pm they finally showed, and then the cop tells me that this is nothing that they can help me with and why didn't I call the school district cops that day? THEY WERE CALLED, and they told me I needed to speak to you. At this point, the officer is climbing into his car. I had to force him to take my report! Big sigh. "All right, what happened." Um, would you like to talk to my son, since he was the one who was there? yeah, okay, go get him. sigh.

9. lovely. Then the school calls to tell me that Big O is being suspended right along with the boys, because HE was the aggressor, by way of throwing the book. The kicking of his backpack was not bodily contact--never mind the two on one. Big O initiated physical contact and escalated the situation. Five days.

10. The mother of the second boy dragged him to our house by the ear, absolutely horrified. He had not participated in the actual assault, and had been trying to get the other boy to stop. Mom wanted to hear from Big O that this was true, and not her son trying to make himself look better, and they wanted to check on Big O.

11. These are boys in Big O's Class. The big thuggy one that kicked him in the face was a guest at Big O's fourth grade birthday.

12. I am so grateful that it was not worse. I mean fall down on my knees, thank you lord baptist revival grateful. I am pissed that Big O is being treated the same as the other boy. and by the school district definition, why did they suspend the second boy at all? If the kicking of the backpack wasn't assault, then why is he involved at all? grrr grr grrr.

13. So I am now fighting with the school district. Guess what? Even after all of the stories in the news, no Bullying policy is in place at our school district. I feel better (still not great) about the suspension, I'm told it's what happens first before they look into expelling certain kids who have had other problems. Big O is totally disgusted that his karate never came into play. I feel bad for him on that score. We're gonna have his shi-fu work with him on that one....

center>Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Thursday, November 2

Thursday 13 will not be seen today.

But for your viewing pleasure, here is my halloween costume for next year. I just need a cowbell and a fake hairy chest...

For your reading pleasure I offer you this link, and a word of caution. This man is not a mommy blog. But he is freaking funny. My blogfriends with delicate sensibilities (do I have any of those?) should probably not click. But I would. seriously.

Thursday, October 26

Thursday Thirteen #17--2 birds with one stone!

I WAS TAGGED FOR A ME ME BY Jenny In Ca, and I am combining it with my TT. Ten things you didn’t know about me—and three lies.

1. When I was the age that Big O is now, I had a huge waterfight at my house, boys against girls. Girls were inside with bowls and cups and things, boys were outside with hoses—aiming into the house. My mother came home in the middle. And yet I live.
2. I have a black thumb. I better never go into rehab—the rule in the movie 28 days, where you have to keep a plant alive for a year before you get a pet, and have that for a year before you can date? I’d be a lonely, lonely girl surrounded by my dead foliage—and not even a cat for company.
3. I regret my tattoo. At twenty a Jack Daniels Bottle is very rock and roll. At thirty-six it’s feeling a little skank-ish. Plus it’s hard to explain to your O’s.
4. My kids are the third generation where everyone gets the same first initial. But I broke tradition by not giving them the same middle initial.
5. When I was a kid I had an extra tooth in the roof of my mouth and had to have it removed, but they did not believe me when I told them I could feel them working on me. To this day I have an unreasonable fear of dentists. I don’t cry when I see a dentist on TV, but I always find a reason to miss any appointment I set.
6. I won a poetry contest when I was in the eighth grade and had my picture in the paper along with my poem. I was ridiculed in school and it turned out to be the most miserable experience of my life, and that is why I hate poetry to this day.
7. I was a social hermit in high school and went skiing every weekend with my father the winter of my junior year. The night of the Junior prom (when I had been turned down by the boy I FINALLY got the nerve up to ask--he came out two years later but by that time I was SCARRED for life), my dad had to work but arranged for one of his ski patrol buddies to pick me up and go night skiing so I wouldn’t be home dwelling on it.
8. On that note, I was socially retarded and did not have a boyfriend until I was seventeen. He was every parent’s worst nightmare, a divorced twenty-three year old father, working fast food and living with his mother. Oh, and he was a dope smoking heavy metal fan whose wardrobe consisted solely of cut up t-shirts…WINNER! I stayed with him until I was twenty and my parents about peed their pants—I got a trip to Europe, they were so desperate to get me away from him.
9. I lost my virginity at sixteen in a calculated move that made for a hysterical story for another post. Possibly for another blog. And yes, that timeline is accurate.
10. One day after school I decided to show off and take the 1976 Ford f-150 king cab truck for a drive around the block with my girlfriend. The stupid thing was huge and had a first gear that was essentially useless unless you were hauling something up a hill. I got it out of the driveway and around the corner and it just would not move anymore. My brother just happened to be coming over, and drove it home for me and never told my folks.
11. I was onstage with Bill Cosby once. My brother introduced me to him as the family pet in front of the entire audience.
12. I once super glued pennies to the windshield of a very bad manager. She was nasty and vile and had a revolving rubber check that she would have us cash and then take out before the deposit went to the bank. To add insult to injury, she just used the same damned check over and over again.
13. I am closer to forty than thirty now, and I have never plucked my eyebrows. I think I might do it this year for the Christmas Party. I think.

**********************************************************

Total Mind Blowing Update-- My
TT #4 was thirteen people I wanted to find again. One of them found me BECAUSE of my TT! WOW! I am so excited and now have to figure out how to contact her! Amanda, if you’re reading my blog, email me!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Time for some more of that sweet, sweet Linky Love!