Notes for Next year:

NO PROPS!

What works excellently for trick or treating (and, by the way, it totally DID work for t-o-t), does NOT work for parties or work. Having your costume lying in a corner because you cannot function while holding it, or are afraid you're going to put someone's eye out in close quarters? Fail.

Everyone at the party had couples costumes, so next year I'll try to make that happen, too. The Honey is outta luck in terms of hooched up. I have to be able to wear it to work and trick or treat with my kid in it. I also have to come up with something that the Honey will wear. He's muuuch more conservative about which costumes he'll wear. I was thinking about Boris & Natasha, although really, I should give that to our Host and Hostess from this year's party. They are very aware that she is taller than he is (Whereas I don't care that I am taller than the Honey) and she's already slim and dark haired. She could rock the tight purple dress. But her man wore a Mario costume all night, so she can talk him into anything. Just getting the Honey into all black would make my life much easier.

On a separate note, getting Little O Disney's Sing It has just re-affirmed my belief that my kid is sweet thanks to a lack of cable in her life. Even Disney would be too much. Maybe especially Disney. I know that Shar-Pay is a caricature, but does Miss Priss? We had a long talk about how she behaves towards people, because Little O loves singing her song, but it kind of makes me queasy to hear her sing it.

There's a whole generation out there that has grown up watching that shit unsupervised, because Mom & Dad think Disney's okay. Those are the same kids that worship Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, and think it's okay to order a "Fitness pole" for your room at 16 (Don't ask, it's a long horrible story).

Big O has kind of settled into a groove as he starts high school, so I am a little less worried about him. Little O is wobbling in an interesting spot. Yesterday she said to me,

"When I sing that song at school, it's almost like there's these girls that are listening and laughing at me. It's like they sneak up on me. Isn't that WIERD?"

Apparently, when I drop her off in the mornings, if none of her friends are there yet, she plays Hannah Montana by herself. I love that she is so blissfully unaware of how mean girls can be. I hope she gets to continue being that blissfully unaware. Nobody needs to learn THAT lesson in the first grade.

Holy Holy Water, Batman!

Yep. It's done.

Little O was entranced by her Rosemary rosary. :)

Her padrinos got a band. Technically, there were TWO bands. Insane!

I thik a good time was had by all, although I am still deaf in one ear from the band. Next up? Halloween!

Cowbell, or Jellyfish? I also need a smoking jacket for the Honey, who will be going as the devil. I got him some great horns...

I've got nothing...

DSC00442
Originally uploaded by supa_jen_10.

Except to say thank dog it's Friday. I am soooo ready.

Oh, and what are you going to be for Halloween? Okay, I admit I'm a little early, but I don't want another fiasco like Little O's wings, which she hated and refused to wear for more than ten minutes. She wears them now, much to my eternal gratitude/irritation. But the night I was frantically sewing until just before showtime?

Hated them.

AND I need to top last year when I went as my uber boss.

Thank dog I still have a job!

 

 

He is a very cool boss and I am grateful to be gainfully employed.

(He doesn't know my blog exists, but I like to cover my bases.)

I will post the wings when I have recovered from thier brutal rejection by Little O. 

Thursday 13 #16 Best halloween costumes

Thirteen Things Best Halloween Costumes Jen has seen 1…. Beetlejuice. Guy's girlfriend worked at a bridal gown manufacturer, and had a red lace wedding gown, but he totally ruled. He had a purple velvet tux that was at least two sizes too small, and had filled it with baby powder, so every time he told an awful joke, he would pat himself and dust would fly up...he also stayed in character all night, in spite of copious quantities of alcohol. Come to think of it, maybe that WAS his personality. 2. Spy vs Spy. I made giant paper maiche heads, with black screens for the eyes, and would have OWNED that contest if not for Beetlejuice. Took witch hats and cut the tops off to make proportionate fedoras, painted one white, left the other one black... but we had no schtick. I was lucky to get my boyfriend INTO the costume, let alone be planting bombs all night... I have no pictures of the greatest halloween costume ever. I think it's why I'm so obsessive about getting pictures of the kids in theirs... 3. Jellyfish. I lived in Chico one year, and that is a town that does Halloween right! They were dressed all in black, had clear umbrellas with bubble wrap hanging in strings, with glowing necklaces on. They would just lift the umbrellas up and down as they drifted through the crowd, and they looked like Jellyfish swimming along. The.Coolest.Costume.Ever. 4. The windy guys. Also in Chico. When you go downtown, you just drift from bar to bar in a giant circuit of downtown streets. These guys had their hair gelled back, and their ties and coats wired back, and they made whshh-ing noises as they fought their imaginary wind from one light pole to another. There were four or five of them, I think. Was I just drunk? Because I thought they were hysterical. 5. Tinkerbell. As performed by my 6' 2" brother. He found tights (I can't imagine where), wore a white tank top and shorts, and little white wings. Um, he also carried a baseball bat painted gold with a cardboard star stapled to the end, as his magic wand. 6. Flying Monkey. As NOT performed by my chicken brother. I wanted him to do it Will Ferrell style, with his hairy man belly sticking out with the little bell hop outfit worn by the monkeys in Wizard of Oz and a monky snout, wings and a tail. It would have been sheer genius. 7. St. Paulie Girl. The other Jen made her own costume, and while I only saw the photos, it blew me away--Mind, you and Jen look a little alike, you should find a party and just GO for it! 8. Fed Ex Guy. Okay it WAS in a bar, but he had a box attached to his fly and was asking women if they'd like to sign for his package, and then handed them a clipboard for their name and number. It was pretty funny. 9. Pregnant Nun. In high school, my friend delivered pizzas as a pregnant nun. Dave was outstanding. 10. Maleficent. The baddie from sleeping beauty? A co-worker committed to it and totally rocked--full makeup and black skull cap thing, the works. 11. Angel. I kicked ass on Little O's pirate costume last year, but I loved her Angel costume from the year before bettter. It's killing me to not post a picture. 12. Cowboy. I made Big O a cowboy when HE was two, with felt chaps and a little vest, and I've done way more elaborate costumes for him since then, but nothing beats how easy and great his little felt chaps looked. Maybe I just love two year olds in costumes? 13. The Boss. No, not Springsteen. I hope this year is funny, because I am going as my boss. Technically, I am going as my boss's boss. Everyone's boss. The BIG boss. He has a pretty good sense of humor. I hope. If not, I'm going to have to claim to have been dooced. Blame it on the blog. Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

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Halloween Madness...

So I mentioned on WTF Wednesday that Toys R Us online didn't recognize the term hula hoop. I went to the actual store, and found, not a hula hoop, but a Wave Hoop--apparently the newest, tarted-up cousin of the plain jane hula hoop. Yes, it was encased in some sort of Mylar sheathing that was peeling the first time Little O dropped it in the parking lot--whatever--it was on sale, and that was all that I wanted. I was only going to cut it in half.

Guess what makes it a Wave hoop? Can you see it coming?





Yes, the frigging thing was water filled. As were my shoes when I cut it open.

But it WAS the right size and structure to fill out the wings.

In the meantime, the girls at work have caught the bug and are planning costumes for work. One VERY daring co-worker received her online shipment of the Marilyn dress she will be wearing to work. I am jealous and apprehensive at the same time. This girl goes ALL OUT on her costumes. Last year she came as Maleficent, from Sleeping Beauty--one of my favorite villains for pure evil's sake, by the way--and she totally kicked ass. I would love to get a sexpot Marilyn costume, but it would be porn gone bad to appear in something with a neckline that plunging when I am overendowed to the point of cartoony-ness. We are actively encouraging this girl to get some serious pasties if she plans on wearing this cheap white costume material as the only covering to her worldly goods. I think she is beginning to see our points--just as long as we don't see hers! But all kidding aside, she is going to look phenomenal and My competitive streak is kicking in--I know what I want to be.

I want to be little red riding hood in a little-girl dress and a red hood.

If you look online at plus sized costumes, they all involve bustiers or the bend-me-over-and-do-me lengths. This is something I want to wear to WORK and then take my (then) four year old daughter trick-or-treating in. Lifting the aforementioned cartoony proportions up even further with a bustier would be obscene, and the do-me short skirts are equally inappropriate because most of my height comes from my legs. We won't even address the sites that advertise plus sized costumes that go all the way up to a fourteen! Okay, yes we will. Fourteen is where plus sizes START, you skinny bitches! Don't advertise a plus sized costume that is a twelve. Go eat a sandwich, you anorexic whore. (that would be the web master, not the size 12)

Ahem, anyway...

I decided that a square dancing outfit would still give that little girl look with the crinolines and the traditional style, but probably be a more respectable length. Only problem? They DANCE, so they're ACTIVE, so they don't really get a whole lot of requests for a size 18-20 dress. I think I found an old lady on E-bay who's selling off stuff, but e-bay is strangely resistant to my charms, and won't let me register. I can't ask questions until I register. Hopefully my psychic twin Jen, who CAN access E-bay, will be able to find out more...