Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts

Sunday, September 7

Sigh.




I was told by someone at work that for someone who cooks, I eat out a hell of a lot.

She knows this because she eats out a hell of a lot, too--and sees ME out.

Maybe I am just statistically more likely to hit the Shitty service lottery because I buy more tickets, or because I was a manager whose whole thing, spiel, schtick--whatever you want to call it--was Good Customer Service.

Let me tell you, I have gone to Marie Callendar's since I was a kid. We had to stop at the MC on Sunrise in Sacramento at least twice a year so my dad could have chili and cornbread. I think my father swooned when they opened one on Hilltop in Redding.

The Honey? Not so fond of it, but an open faced turkey sandwich has broken him on more than one occasion. During the Olympics, he was weak. Little O was overjoyed.

We walked in and I requested a table for four--you can tell the economy is feeling the pinch when there's no waiting at MC. The Honey asked, as she gathered our menus, if we could sit in the bar side so we could watch the Olympics.

Biotch did NOT roll her eyes and huff--I am sure that was NOT what I just saw.

Oh, yes it was, because I'll be damned if she did not take us to the only table in the room that was actually BEHIND every TV. If the Honey sat on the corner, he could look sideways at the big screen. Have we talked about the Honey's temper? I immediately told him we could leave as his eyes got big and slightly crazed. Stupid cow didn't help when she sniffed,

"you can move the table--a little."

A little? REALLY?

We were gathering our stuff back up to go when the Honey looked over and saw Little O with teary eyes. He just caved at that point--resigned himself to not watching the Olympics, and opened his menu.

So the manager comes over to ask if everything is okay, and here's the thing:

The Honey was settled back down, and he is a firm believer that you do NOT complain while any of your food is still in the kitchen.

I told the manager we were fine.

Our waitress was fabulous, and almost made up for the hostess, and the food was fine. After our meal, I asked to speak to the manager. I thougth he ought to know about the eye rolling, huffing, and surly little bitch that had seated us. Did I call her that? No. I simply explained what had happened and that I thought he should be aware.

Fucking unbelievable, because his first response was NOT I am so sorry, or I'll speak to her, it was

"I ASKED you, and you SAID everything was fine."

Pop rocks, people. Pop rocks exploding in my brain. I could hear them fizzing and hissing. I wasn't asking for a discount on my meal, I was not hitting him up for a free pie. I had started by telling him how great our waitress was. I thought he ought to know about his hostess, but it turns out he must have been the one who trained her! He worked up to a half hearted I'm sorry you feel that way, but added that we could have sat anywhere, there were tables open that faced the TV. Um, yeah, that was kind of my point, asshole.

ANYWAY, I wrote a letter to Marie's website, and it was almost completely grown up. I may have used the term stink eye when the Honey asked for bar seating. It was much more rational than my open letter to Chili's and/or Border's.

I have no expectation of anything but a form letter from Marie's, but I felt soooo much better having written it to corporate.

Did I ever tell you about my mother and the feedback form at Italian Cottage?
My roommate Kat, the Bad Boyfriend and I went to IC to meet my folks for dinner, and we got there before my folks. Waitress Paula was a complete cow to us--almost THREW Kat's coffee on her. As soon as my folks showed up she was sweet as pie. We were stunned at the turn about, and told my parents about it.
In place of the hefty tip my parents usually left, my mother wrote on the back of the check:

"We hope that when Paula gets back to her kennel, her mother growls and snaps at her."

My mom rocks.

Friday, June 22

Nectar of the GODS, people...

Homemade tamales (not by ME, thank you) so spicy they BURN, and a cup of hot coffee is the ULTIMATE California Breakfast.  I heart the tamale lady.
 
On an unrelated note, why do city planners torture me so?
 
If you decide that parking lots in parks are bad, for some reason, and decide that no one can ever park there again, RECLAIM them for the park.  Don't leave them paved and beautiful, sitting empty, so I stare longingly at them as I lug all of our shite to the baseball game.
 
At some point, and I'm sure it has to do with the crime rate, our lovely city planners decided to block off 98% of the parking for the city parks.  I can, I guess, live with this if it means we miss the crunch of crack vials beneath our shoes.  But don't rub my nose in the fact that there USED to be parking here-- Plant something, for frick's sake. 

Sunday, June 10

Legal Action Pending....

Dear Frito Lay-

I am bringing this matter to your attention in hopes of a speedy resolution. Chili's Restaurant has shamelessly stolen your formula for Chili Fritos, and I'll be Dogdamned if they are not sprinkling it on any shrimp type food item that they sell. My next letter will be to them, demanding my money back for the two horrible dinners that they have conned out of me. Their "Cajun" shrimp was frito flavored, I accepted it and moved on. Remembering my experience with the Cajun stylings, I instead opted for the garlic lime shrimp. Imagine my horror when I realized it was exactly the same. They are just crushing your product up and sprinkling it on things indiscriminately. I urge you to consider a cease and desist order.

Sincerely,

JennFactor10



Dear Chili's-

If I want frito's, I will go to 7-11 and buy a bag. The next gift card we are given will be spent solely on alcohol. To the smarmy superior waiter? If I wanted to buy a T-shirt at the Skynrd concert, you would totally be the guy I'd look for. If you are serving my food, however, please trim that shit on your face into some semblance of order. I am the most mild mannered easy to please customer you will ever run across. If I felt compelled to check my food for stray whiskers, you are in bad shape, indeed, dude. If you MUST have a pony tail like a matted weasel dangling halfway down your back, could you braid it maybe? comb it? I found myself wishing for a mullet that would imply some sort of vanity and haircare. Your tip was maintained only by the fact that you spelled Dessert in front of my four year old.

Sincerely,

A Concerned Customer

Monday, April 16

hermna nerfa bloggna spagetti



I made spaghetti for dinner.

It rocked.

I owe it all to Paul Newman's Sockarooni.

That is all.

Tuesday, October 24

Tasty Tuesday--Mmmm...Tri Tip

My blog sistas, I am writing to you today about the most glorious supermarket innovation EVER. I just took it for granted that it was everywhere, like tortillas. My auntie from Tennessee had no idea what we were talking about.

Go ask your butcher for some Tri Tip. When the local market throws some on the grill, my heart goes pitter pat. I will pay their highway robbery prices to take one home already cooked and melt in your mouth tender. Or I will grill one myself. But I don't do it as well as the burly boy from the market.

Costco sells them here, but my auntie says not so in the south. Brisket is hard to find here so I guess it's a regional thing. Tri tip is a good compromise for us because I like it Pink and the Honey likes it overcooked. I am slowly bringing him around. But Don't let anybody put barbecue sauce on it. Ugh. Why ruin a perfectly good piece of meat with that goo? That's okay for ribs. Tri tip deserves better.

This message has been brought to you by the atkins diet and your friendly neighborhood cardiologist.

***************************

I was trying to put in a Flickr photo, but alas, no luck.

Here's a little more info from our friends at Wiki.

Tuesday, October 10

Tasty Tuesday--Sugar Cookies

I was shopping this weekend and saw the most beautiful copper cookie cutters. They were crying out for Martha's Sugar cookies. Yes, THAT Martha. This is the most consistent, tasty recipe I have ever found for sugar cookies. I get lazy and make the dough into logs, rolled in colored sugar, I cut them into coins and bake quadruple batches. They are that good.

Martha's Sugar Cookies

4 C sifted All Purpose Flour
1/2 t salt
1 t baking Powder
1 C (2 sticks) unsalted butter
2 C Sugar
2 lg eggs
2 t vanilla OR 2 t fresh lemon juice + zest of 2 lemons

1. In a large bowl, sift together flour, salt, and baking powder, set aside.
2. Use an electric mixer to cream butter and sugar until fluffy. Beat in eggs.
3. Add flour mixture and mix on low speed until thoroughly combined. Stir in vanilla or lemon mixture. Wrap dough in plastic and chill for about 30 minutes.
4. Preheat oven to 325. On a floured surface roll dough to 1/8 inch thick. Cut into desired shapes. Transfer to ungreased baking sheets; refridgerate until firm, 15 minutes. Remove from fridge, decorate with sugar, if that blows your skirt up. Bake until edges just start to brown, 8 to 10 minutes. Cool on wire racks. May be stored at room temp in an airtight container for up to 2 weeks.

Makes 16 large cookies, or 30 2 1/2 inch cookies.

Um, double the recipe because you will want more immediately.

Sunday, October 8

Can I get a boy band instead?


Menudo
Originally uploaded by THEfunkyman.

It's THAT day in the honey's family, and they are getting excited...mama might make homemade menudo!

OH. BOY.

I have to explain that I will never thrive in Scotland, either. I am an Organ-o-tarian. Don't get me wrong, I am definitely a carnivore! I totally grossed out the favorite SIL last night because I ordered my steak medium (we went to a REAL restaurant for her birthday--I normally order med-rare) and it was gloriously pink. But today that same girl is dying to scarf down major organs stewed in a greasy red soup with some hominy, and I'm the gross one.

I don't do organs. Biggest organ on a body? The skin. And no, I don't want any deep fried pork rinds either. Yak. But this obsession wwith menudo and haggis and monkey brains (okay, no one I know eats monkey brains, but they are considered a delicacy, right?) is not something I can wrap my head around.

Why would you want to chew and swallow Nature's little filters. If it wasn't good for that cow or pig, why would it be good concentrated in that organ and then stewed?

I've eaten the broth to shut them up, and it's okay. They make a non-organ kind called Pasole (I've probably misspelled that) that uses meat instead of organs. They give you shredded cabbage, and onions and radishes, and lemon and oregano to sprinkle on it .

OOOH, can I get a big piece of intestine to go with my cabbage and radishes? MMMM, chewy!

Tuesday, September 26

Tasty Tuesday- Bread Pudding

Still no fantastic Rum cake. WTF did I do with the recipe?

More Badness...

Don’t Think About It Bread Pudding

Topping
2 Tablespoons sugar
½ teaspoon Cinnamon


Pudding
4 large eggs plus 1 large egg yolk
¾ cup sugar
2 ½ cups whole milk
2 ½ cups heavy cream
3 Tablespoons bourbon
1 Tablespoon Vanilla extract
¾ teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
¼ teaspoon salt
12 ounces (about ½ loaf) good quality american style white bread, sliced 3/8 inch thick and cut into 1 ½ inch cubes (about 8 cups)*okay, I used mini-croissants, hence the name
1 ½ Tablespoons unsalted butter, melted, plus more for
greasing the baking dish

1. FOR THE TOPPING: stir them together, genius.

2. FOR THE PUDDING: adjust an oven rack to the lower-middle position and heat the oven to 325*I think mine was at 350-yikes! Butter a 13 x 9 baking dish.

3. Wisk the eggs, yolk, and sugar in a large bowl to blend well. Whisk in the milk, cream, bourbon, vanilla, nutmeg and salt. Stir in 6 cups of bread; mix thoroughly to moisten. Let stand 20 minutes.

4. Pour the mixture into the prepared baking dish. Scatter the remaining 2 cups bread cubes on top, pushing them down gently to partially submerge. Brush the exposed bread with the melted butter and sprinkle with the topping.

5. Bake until the pudding turns a deep golden brown, is beginning to rise up the sides of the baking dish, and jiggles very slightly at the center when shaken, 45 to 50 minutes. A knife inserted in center should be partially coated with semi-set custard, not clean!