Friday, June 29

Do they make calamine lotion for this?

It's kind of like having chicken pox.

You know better, but all you can think about is SCRATCHING...

I have a knee that occasionally rocks completely out of the socket, just long enough to make me see stars, then rocks right back into place. So I feel like a total wuss for the greenish tinge to my face, and the whimpering I'm trying to suppress. My lamaze breathing that I learned before Big O's arrival has done more for my knee than during either of my 8 lb bowling balls getting punched out of my vajayjay.

Why bring this up? Because after Little O's final tee ball game, the coach took us all to Crackdonald's. In trying to squeeze past someone to get into our booth, my knee did the old rock and roll maneuver, and the Honey watched all of the color drain from my face. I did not blow chunks, and I did not cry (it was a close one on both of those options, though). I sat there breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth until my eyes were no longer crossed, and a week later, I am fine except for a slight limp and a very tight knee.

Man, is that bitch tight. It feels like I want to crack it, but I really envision my whole knee exploding if I were to attempt it. But it's just a sick sick temptation to push it just THAT much further as I am stretching it--because it's soooo close to being normal again. I am craving that release of tension. It's like getting to just before that point, you know, THAT point, and then getting a pat on the shoulder and he goes to sleep. I can't divorce my knee.

But I could pop it...

Thursday, June 28

Happy Birthday!

I am so happy that you have found your bliss.

As much as I miss you, I hope you never come back.

I'll just have to come and see you.

Happy twenty-fifth, Kimmy!!!

Wednesday, June 27

Today the part of Jen will be played by a moody, whiny little bitch.

I am blue.

I think it's a combination of things, several having to do with money and housing, but I also would like to blame my co-worker(s).

Work: I think my base line personality is pretty happy and pretty mellow. I can roll with your verbal punches, and if you throw one too many at me, I'll smack you back.

What stresses me out to no end, is having to listen to you throw them at someone else. Someone who is too classy (and bound by certain labor laws and working conditions) to slap the ever-loving shit out of you, even in a verbal sense. Even though she could make you cry and you would deserve every bit of it. I know it's not worth the drama to stir shit up. It will all be over soon. But you ruin every goddamned day that I have to sit and listen to you spew your bile. Have you EVER focused on the positive things in your life? EVER?


I would like my man, my partner, my one and only, to help me around the house. I am tired of being the only one who does dishes. That's why they aren't done. Because I am tired. Not sleepy, TIRED.

I adore babies. I could eat them with a spoon. I loved every single second of being pregnant. I would LOVE to have another one. But we cannot afford it. Can.Not.Afford. We are a couple of bounced checks away from being on the Government dole, and I can't do it. If I won the lottery I'd be pregnant yesterday. Sigh.

I want the TWO books I have started to POOF! appear in front of me. I don't WANT to start a third. I want my very good books to come back to me. Where in the hell did I put them? Why don't I have any clue here?

Um , crazy ass recycle man? SHUUUT UP. It's FREE, asshat. Stop talking to me.

Sensitive new age guy ex husband who cannot earn a living because you insist on chasing your dream? Grow the fuck up.

Crappy mothers who have bred and then mistreated girls who turned into amazing women without any help from your sorry asses? Shut up and leave them alone--you do not deserve your incredible daughters.

Here is my list of demands:

Be nice. Even to the person helping you at wally world, even if they seem to have a family tree with only one branch. Be nice.

Be considerate. Think about the other person. Whether that's me or someody else.

Be patient. Are you really so important that you can't wait three seconds more?

Less is more. You don't need more stuff, you need to pay more attention to what's in front of you.

Shut up. Listen. No, REALLY listen.

bleah. This has been bitchy moments with Jennifer. Your usual psychotically chipper (hmm, that's probably more real life Jen than Blog Jen) girl will be back shortly.


On a completely unrelated note?
My throbbing blog-crush on Greg Beck is only deepened by his confession about poetry. He needs (other)Jen's Tuesday Work Sucks Haikus.

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Tuesday, June 26

Wednesday Hero

Staff Sgt. Darrell R. Griffin Jr.
Staff Sgt. Darrell R. Griffin Jr.
36 years old from Alhambra, California
2nd Battalion, 3rd Infantry Regiment, 3rd Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division
March 21, 2007

"He was a really patriotic young man", said Darrell Griffin Sr. "He said that the people there really needed us and he felt it was the right place to be. He wished we didn't have to have wars, but since that's the way mankind is, he felt he was contributing an important part to his country".

SSgt. Griffin lost his life in Balad, Iraq when his unit came under fire as it was returning to base after conducting security operations in the Iraqi capital.

The eldest son of six children, SSgt. Griffin worked as an EMT before joining the California Army National Guard in 1999. He enlisted in the Army two years later, and in July 2001, was assigned to the 1st Brigade, 25th Infantry Division, in Ft. Lewis, Washington. He served with that unit in Iraq from October 2004 to September 2005.

On his second tour of duty, SSgt. Griffin had been awarded the Bronze Star for valor in 2005 when he was credited with saving the lives of three U.S. and two Iraqi Army soldiers injured during battle in Tal Afar. He had also received the Army Achievement Medal, Army Good Conduct Medal, National Defense Service Medal, Iraq Campaign Medal, Global War on Terrorism Expeditionary Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal, Non-Commissioned Officer Professional Development Ribbon, Army Service Ribbon, Overseas Service Ribbon, Combat Infantry Badge, Expert Infantry Badge, Parachute Badge, and the Meritorious Unit Citation.

"Griff was the type of man you want to have by your side in a fight," Maj. Brent Clemmer, his former company commander, wrote from Iraq. "He was the type of squad leader every young soldier wants to have".

"Darrell was my husband, my Soldier, my gift from God who was also the love of my life and always will be." Said his wife, Diana. "He was also 'a Soldier's Soldier of Strength and Honor' whose commitment to duty, honor and loyalty will be forever remembered by all who know and love him. The news of his death saddens us deeply and we ask for your prayers in our time of grief. Please also continue to keep our Soldiers in your prayers

These brave men and women sacrifice so much in their lives so that others may enjoy the freedoms we get to enjoy everyday. For that, I am proud to call them Hero.
We Should Not Only Mourn These Men And Women Who Died, We Should Also Thank God That Such People Lived

This post is part of the Wednesday Hero Blogroll. To find out more about Wednesday Hero, you can go here.

Kisses to You and Yours, Kimmy. Please tell your cousin we're very sorry for her loss.

Saturday, June 23

It's good for the Soul...

I have a confession.

In this journey of self discovery we call life, there are times when you have to face certain truths about yourself.

Sometimes they are not pretty.

I am a handbag whore.

I'm not saying that I'll spend thousands on a Coach bag. No, no. That would make me a high class call girl kind of handbag whore.

I am like a crow with shiny objects. I am simple. I am called by a shape, or a design element, and if it's more than forty bucks, I'll touch it one more time and regretfully move on... I do not need one more bag, certainly not another one that is more than I spend on my son's shoes.

But oh, I have discovered a crack in my willpower armor.

My daughter has five purses. She is four years old. That's averaging more than a purse a year.

To be fair, one is a vinyl Hello Kitty that her daddy got for her when I sent him out to get her a lunch box (I could have kissed him, and it really is the right size for a preschooler's lunch!). One was given to her by her favorite auntie, for her birthday, with a matching hat. One came from the demon Target dollar bin.

Here's the shame...

One is a cute little brown and pink corduroy barrel bag from the gap. I loved it. Little O? meh.

Friday we went to the dollar store. After lecturing my sweet girl that she only got ONE dollar, and she would have to choose her treat carefully, I saw it.

Little O could have cared less.

I was forced to admit that there was no way we were leaving the store without that bag, and told my girl she could pick one more thing.

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That's her Strawberry Shortcake doll sticking out of the top. She likes this one more than the last one, and is already using it. But she could have lived without it. It would have caused me physical pain to leave it behind.

Oh, the shame...

Friday, June 22

Nectar of the GODS, people...

Homemade tamales (not by ME, thank you) so spicy they BURN, and a cup of hot coffee is the ULTIMATE California Breakfast.  I heart the tamale lady.
On an unrelated note, why do city planners torture me so?
If you decide that parking lots in parks are bad, for some reason, and decide that no one can ever park there again, RECLAIM them for the park.  Don't leave them paved and beautiful, sitting empty, so I stare longingly at them as I lug all of our shite to the baseball game.
At some point, and I'm sure it has to do with the crime rate, our lovely city planners decided to block off 98% of the parking for the city parks.  I can, I guess, live with this if it means we miss the crunch of crack vials beneath our shoes.  But don't rub my nose in the fact that there USED to be parking here-- Plant something, for frick's sake. 

Thursday, June 21


Happy Birthday to my Best Jen!

I'd never have survived without you!

Midweek Meme Madness

I am the last stop for Memes.

I just don't know enough people to pass them on. I should also, according to the emails, be spending an eternity's worth of bad bad luck for all of the emails I have not forwarded on. I have to admit, I consider that taking one for the team.

Here is Mert's slightly modified midweek meme, and Ash's will follow shortly....

Mad Madam Mim 7" Walt Disney Playing Record for Children
Originally uploaded by XNDR.

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so:

**okay I'll fix the links after work...**
1. BlondeMomBlog
2. Holly's Corner
3. Daddy Forever
4. Almost Somewhat Positive
5. me!
Next select five people to tag:
(I'm not taggging!)

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Living happily in a submarine apartment, finally out of sister-in-law’s house, blissfully unaware that my new marriage was already done.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Wishing I had a new job, wondering what this voodoo HTML was, and blog-stalking Casual Slack.

Five snacks you enjoy:
1. Chocolate croissants, from a REAL bakery. The flaky…and the chocolate… and a cold glass of milk…mmmmmm.
2. Lemon Coolers…evil cookies covered in powdered sugar.
3. Watermelon with chile, lime, and salt.
4. Is it salty? We’re good, then.
5. Blocks of Crisco! Okay, not really, but fried foods in general are pretty high on my snack-y list and I need to think of them that way….

Five songs that you know all the lyrics to:
1. Bad—U2
2. Babyseat—Barenaked Ladies
3. Shotgun—Southern Culture on the Skids
4. Jamming-Bob Marley
5. Should I Stay or Should I Go—The Clash

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Build a stone church on top of a mountain, no roof, and instead of stained glass, I’d have an empty window so you could see the valley below. It would be available to any denomination that does not involve animal sacrifice. (When I went to Glendalough in Ireland, I fell in love.)
2. Buy a new, larger house with 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms!
3. Invest part of it
4. College funds for each of the kids. If they don’t use it for college, It goes to a homeless shelter and they don’t see one thin dime.
5. Travel—er, this WAS a multimillionaire, right?

Five bad habits:
1. Eating late at night
2. Eternally late. Yes, I am one of THEM.
3. Thinking anyone else is going to do the dishes if I don’t. Hahahahaha—Wait, that’s not funny.
5. Leaving things partially finis

Five things you like doing:
1. Stupid crafty projects when I should be doing something else!!!! (see also: bad habits)
2. Reading, which I literally, physically, psychologically, cannot get enough of.
3. Decimating arbitrary numbers like budgets and allowances.
4. Lazy days with my family—nuclear and extended.
5. Target is my friend AND my enemy. What a bitch.

Five things you would never wear again:
1. Big Glasses
2. Feathered hair
3. Stupid Uni-boob sports bras that claim to be made for the well-endowed, but use the same support principles they used for the A cups.
4. Stirrup pants
5. My ex-husband’s ring

Five favorite toys:
1. My ATM card.
2. Big O’s Eye Toy for PS2
3. Other people’s high speed internet (as opposed to my own craptastic dial-up).
4. Magic Window by Wham-o
5. Stereo (car and home)

Wednesday, June 20

Wednesday Hero

Lance Cpl. Hatak Yuka Keyu M. Yearby
Lance Cpl. Hatak Yuka Keyu M. Yearby
21 years old from Overbrook, Oklahoma
3rd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force
May 14, 2006

Hatak Yuka Keyu Martin Yearby was remembered in funeral services as a small town boy who balanced his Choctaw tribal heritage and his military life.

He did traditional American Indian dances with grace, compassion, discipline and free spirit — "the way he lived his life," the Rev. Timm Emmons said Monday.

"He had a desire to be in the military since he was a young boy. And he believed in what he was doing. He was a warrior, and he was a hero and he finished the course."

Yearby was killed by a roadside bomb, along with fellow Lance Cpl. Jose S. MarinDominguez Jr., in the Al Anbar province of Iraq, two months after he arrived in that country.

Friends and family, fellow American Indians, teachers and classmates filed past his open casket for an hour after the funeral while a U.S. Marine Corps honor guard stood at attention.

About 1,000 people attended a funeral service meant to celebrate the life of the 21-year-old newlywed from Overbrook in southern Oklahoma’s Love County.

Those who spoke in the packed Marietta High School auditorium talked of how he loved to hunt, but never came back with anything. He played tricks, won dancing awards at powwows and appeared on a recruiting magazine for Upward Bound because of a headdress he made from a T-shirt.

Nine of his friends stood on stage to remember Yearby. Jake Barber spoke for them, pausing several times to regain his composure.

"Many great words describe Hatak. The only real word you need to say is 'brother'. He will always be known to us as the ace of spades, the most important card in the deck. He touched us so dearly that words cannot explain,".

These brave men and women sacrifice so much in their lives so that others may enjoy the freedoms we get to enjoy everyday. For that, I am proud to call them Hero.
We Should Not Only Mourn These Men And Women Who Died, We Should Also Thank God That Such People Lived

This post is part of the Wednesday Hero Blogroll. To find out more about Wednesday Hero, you can go here.

He was 21 years old. Killed after only 2 months in Iraq. I feel evil that I sent up a little prayer of thanks for my nephew who returned safe when I read that. Not so guilty about the pleading whiny one about the nephew yet to go.

Just remember the sacrifices being made. It doesn't matter if we should have gone over or not at this point. Let the historians debate that. What matters now is that we are there, and we need to find an honorable way out. Equally important, we have to take care of the people WE sent. I didn't vote for Dubya either time, but if I am an American Citizen, and I value what that stands for, if I drive a car, if I claim any part of this country, then I think I must claim it all. I sent those boys to Iraq as much as anyone, because I didn't fight harder against Dubya. I sent them to Iraq because they are there for me and my kids, and the concepts I want to teach them--be free to speak your mind, don't kick a guy when he's down, help him to his feet. Those things are part of the America I want to live in.

Tuesday, June 19

It's about the Spirit of the law, not the letter. Right??

Here's my Supa-star, holding her glove, rather than wearing it. But she IS implementing the step-and-throw combo we've worked on all season. She just likes it to be in slow motion, so she's sure everyone is watching her.

Here she's making her stately progression towards first. A Princess doesn't really RUN, you see...

I have decided that since you cannot see her face, it doesn't count as posting an actual photo of her. In fact, this is not my child AT ALL.

My girl is so freaking cute that it KILLS me not to post photos. It causes me actual physical pain. She is THAT cute.

Did I mention that I signed up to be team parent, and that I have no idea what that means? I took down names for snack, and I am faking cheesy gifts for the coach and his assistant. Was there supposed to be more to it? Oh, more game to go.
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More amazing Meme Madness Later this week, kids!

On the book front?
Nora, Nora, Nora.
You don't have to put recipies at the end. It makes you seem very needy, and you are the bestselling women's fiction/smut/romance author EVER. You have to have outsold Danielle Steel years ago. Quite frankly, you're better than that. If you have a crazy gun toting granny who sets funeral homes on fire in your next book, I may have to break up with you. It was a great book except for that bit at the end.



Saturday, June 16

Insane Meme Weekend, part 1

One of the Reader MEMEs. I copied and pasted from a blog into Word one day and have just dusted it off and answered. If I stole it from you, I apologize.

Hardback or trade paperback or mass market paperback?

Just like it says in my profile, I love cheap mass market fiction! One handed reading, no sharp corners or stupid dustcovers. Portable and practical.

Amazon or brick and mortar? Um, Hi, former bookseller. I need to touch, and I really really need to scan the shelves looking for something to catch my eye. I miss bookstores. I will totally hunt down sequels online, though!

Barnes & Noble or Borders? Barnes and Noble – I worked for them for more than a decade. I miss them still.

Bookmark or dog-ear? Hahahhahaha. Dog-ear. Books are consumed at my house. Then they are passed on!

Alphabetize by author or alphabetize by title or random? Author if I were that anal. Again, books are meant to be passed on.

Keep, throw away, or sell? Give away. I pass it on because I loved it, or smut because I am embarrassed to be caught with it. I buy several copies of a book that I love, because I give it away, then find another copy at the used bookstore, and buy it to pass on again. I have re-re-re-purchased several books.

Keep dustjacket or toss it? MMMM…keep it. Toss it…keep it.

Read with dustjacket or remove it? I like my books naked. I do not fuss with books. Do not lend me a book you love and treasure. I get down and dirty with my books.

Short story or novel? Full Length Novel, thank you. I read waaaaay too fast to have the patience for short stories. I want something to engage me for at least a couple of hours.

Collection (short stories by same author) or anthology (short stories by different authors)? I kind of think collections are good for Erotica and not much else. I guess it depends. See my answer above, but I like finding new authors…

Harry Potter or Lemony Snicket? Potter. Can I say also that I …enjoyed the Golden Compass when it came out, and WANTED another one, read the first three, I think (are there more now?). But I am not sure that I ADORE the Golden Compass, or think it deserves the hype it’s getting. There were some elements that rendered it kind of Madeleine L’Engle for me. Concepts almost too off kilter, but you like the characters so you persevere. Does that make sense? Did any one else get that sensation?

Stop reading when tired or at chapter breaks? When it’s over. I have to be truly exhausted to stop in the middle. Or my real life interferes and wants to be fed or changed. Is it bad that I was actually referring to the Honey?

It was a dark and stormy night” or “Once upon a time”? Once upon a time is more likely to be fantasy or smut, so definitely Once upon a time. I have enough dark and stormy nights in real life.

Buy or Borrow? Buy. Then pass it on.

New or used? I don’t care. A book is a book. But no library books, I never return them on time.

Buying choice: book reviews, recommendation or browse? Hours spent browsing is the beginning of my perfect day. With the advent of the freaking Thomas table, I see very little of the rest of the store, though.

Tidy ending or cliffhanger? Wrap it up for me! When Stephanie Plum left you hangin’ between Ranger and Morelli I though I was going to have to hunt Janet down and smack her. Whew!

Morning reading, afternoon reading or nighttime reading? Yes. You forgot mid-morning, late afternoon, early evening, and butt crack of dawn why can’t I sleep.

Stand-alone or series? A series gives me something to look forward to. A stand alone is so deliciously tidy…mmmm.

Favorite series? Hmmm… that’s tough. I don’t know that I could choose ONE.

Favorite Children’s book? Secret Summer of LEB, Gone-Away Lake, Wilfrid Gordon MacDonald Partridge, and Julius, Baby of the World. (I would totally consider a Lilly Tattoo.) All of the James Herriott books. Conversations with a Pocket Gopher by Jack Schaeffer. Narnia. Farley Mowat. Three Investigators. Frog and Toad. Are you my Mother?

Favorite book of which nobody else has heard? Skellig was a YA book that I liked, but the next book by that author was awful. Genellan by Gier was Flipping fantastic (Sci-Fi) or Keeper by Greg Rucka.

Favorite books read last year? I was poor last year. OOOH! I think I found George RR Martin last year, so I’ll say those. My best Jen also keeps me stocked with her leftover Sookie Stackhouse novels, which I enjoy—even though vampires are outside of my usual tastes.

Favorite books of all time? What kind of BS question is that? That list would go on forever. Animal Dreams by Barbara Kingsolver made me cry… um, At home in Mitford was a wonderfully peaceful book about nothing. I didn’t WANT to read anything for a while after that. All of the books listed above under Children’s. Sleeping Dogs by Thomas Perry.

Least Favorite book you finished last year? EWWWW, a Carole Higgins Clark someone gave me. Bad. Not my usual thing at all, but I was desperate, it was very.very.bad. . .

What are you reading right now? Just finished Valentine’s Rising by E. E. Knight. Wishing I had the fifth one.

What are you reading next? GRRRRRR. Little O carried off the Naomi Novik book I just got, Black Powder War, the third in the Temeraire series. You cannot scold a four year old into remembering where they left something. My fault for thinking it’s cute when she grabs my books and reads with her babies in her lap. (I don’t know WHO could have taught her that one. She has to have a Grown up book for that, not a little girl book.) oops.

Friday, June 15

Did I mention the invisible ink?

Create your own Scratch Ticket

I've obviously done something wrong.

I am Dorkk, hear me sigh.

Oohhh! It worked! The text didn't show in the preview!! SQUEEEEEEE!

Bare walls and belly button lint. Now THAT's Appropriate.

Okay, I know I've been rant-y and bitter lately.  I know.
But we need to talk about the death row guy in Texas.
Have you heard about him?  It's very controversial that he wants to tell a joke for his Last words.  He's having a contest on his website, and he and his fellow inmates will choose the winner.
What was wrong with that last statement?
the. Fuck.
His WEBSITE?  He's on Death row for shooting 2 people point blank in a Texas field, and he gets to have a WEBSITE?  I have a little old blog, and I find it to be loads of fun.  Why  does this bastard get to host his own website? 
This is the point where I fail all of the "Are You A Flaming Liberal?" quizzes, because I understand that he's going to die, and that's a whole lot of punishment.  However. 
Do the people he killed get to play on a website until he dies?  No?  Then why should he? 
I believe in Capital punishment, and I believe that prison shouldn't be any fun.  Most especially if we have already determined that not only are you beyond redemption, you are so FAR beyond that you must die for your crimes.  I DO think we should not take twenty years to kill ya, but if you have to wait twenty years due to appeals and legalities, I am okay with it if you get bored in the interim.   
If you want to tell a joke for your last words, fine.  It's your last choice.  Should you be covered by the media if you choose to do so?  Nope.  If it were me, I'd do a question and answer type joke, and die without revealing the answer. 

Wednesday, June 13

Personal Space, People. Personal Space.

So, apparently, WTF Wednesdays are back ON, because bitches keep messin' with me.

Bones and Babs have a third member of their inconsiderate herd of cows. She shops at Safeway.

I was in the express lane with Little O and the lady in front of me was taking FOREVER, but all I had to purchase was a paperback book. I was going to take the least amount of time of anyone in that line. The mid-to-late forties lady behind me bumps me with her cart.

Now I am a big puss when it comes to those times in life I refer to as "Lucy Moments"--you know, when Lucille Ball was about to humiliate herself beyond all redemption? I cringe on other people's behalf for the mortification to come. I can totally put myself in their shoes, and I feel for them.

So I get bumped by this cart, and I don't even turn around, because I don't want to embarrass this lady, who has accidentally attempted to turn my bikini briefs into a thong. Then she does it again. This time I DO turn, and see that she is unloading her cart onto the belt, and is leaning over the cart to get to the conveyor belt.

I am still thinking how embarrassed I would be to realize that I've been molesting someone with my shopping cart. So I turn back to my endless conversation with Little O.

Yay! It's our turn. Remember, I have one freaking item. Bitch bumps me again. Her cart is EMPTY. I have moved forward to the ATM terminal, and I think okay, she pushed her cart a little too enthusiastically when the line moved.

WTF? She pushed me AGAIN with her cart. I had ONE item, had my ATM ready to go, and she is still fucking pushing me?

By the time I would have turned to her, my transaction was done. I resisted the urge to explain the law of physics that says two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time and could she please stop attempting the anal probe while I entered my PIN number?

But I was seething as I waited for my overpriced iced coffee at the Starbucks inside the grocery store, and I kept turning around, trying to get a better look at her, because she HAD to be senile, or early onset Alzheimer's, or SOMETHING. Right? Yeah, I don't think so. Just another one of Them.

I don't know if my restraint demonstrated good manners, or just indicates why I got stuck as the mild mannered asassination victim. If I had had more groceries, I might have gone a little Saddam on her.

Wednesday Hero

This Weeks Hero Was Suggested By Malinda

69-year-old Bert Brady has never stepped foot in Iraq or Afghanistan, yet many soldiers who have know who he is and appreciate what he's done for them. You see, for the past year Mr. Brady has made a trip to the Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport nearly every morning to welcome home returning American troops. Bert Brady, along with fellow veterans, is a member of the Welcome Home a Hero program. They make sure that every soldier who steps off a plane in Dallas gets a special homecoming.

Brady shows up each day with the goal of making soldiers feel appreciated and proud of their service. He's often joined by veterans of the Vietnam and Korean wars who did not get a warm reception when they returned from battle.

"We are not going to forget them like a lot of Vietnam soldiers have been forgotten," Brady said. "We are not going to forget the soldiers of today."

To read more about Bert Brady, you can go to

These brave men and women sacrifice so much in their lives so that others may enjoy the freedoms we get to enjoy everyday. For that, I am proud to call them Hero.
We Should Not Only Mourn These Men And Women Who Died, We Should Also Thank God That Such People Lived

This post is part of the Wednesday Hero Blogroll. To find out more about Wednesday Hero, you can go here.

I love the happy ones. I hope when I am retired, I have the gumption and still care enough to do things like this. Can you have a more classic WW2 name than Bert Brady? Awesome. Supporting the troops LITERALLY, not just a magnet on his car or a flag on the holidays.

My grandfather came home from WW2, and like much of his generation, didn't talk about it. He committed suicide in the early sixties. How much did war change him? We'll never know. But I wonder how different my mother's life would have been if he had never gone to war? I hesitate to ask my mom about my grandfather, because I don't want to stir up memories for her. I think it's because I cannot imagine losing my father.
We need to make sure that our vets get the counselling and help that they need, without having to justify it to anyone. I find it absolutely abhorrent that we are denying coverage and Dishonorably discharging people, for fuck's sake, for seeking help.

Write your congressman.
Put up your magnet on your car.
But hats off to Bert Brady for DOING something. (No guilt in this post, hmmm?)

Tuesday, June 12

Mayberry we're not.

This is the biggest town I've ever lived in.

It was once a very scary place, with shootings in the mall, and crazy drive-bys. It has settled down in the last fifteen years or so, and I appreciate that, since I have lived here for the last ten. We are still consistently in top five cities nationwide for car theft, but hey, it's almost a point of pride that we can beat Oakland.

My initial wild eyed terror and twitchy hyper-awareness of my surroundings has been replaced by a common-sense based resignation/fatalism. If they REALLY want it, I'll probably fork it over but as long as I stay out of the truly BAD areas, I'll be okay until Murphy's law calls my name--and really, at that point, I'll be screwed either way.

It can really be a lovely town to live in, but it's gentle veneer can wear thin at any time. This weekend, after Tee-ball, I took Little O to the Flea Market held at the local Community College. We wandered the aisles looking at craptastic wares manufactured in Mexico, or China, and almost bought a bitchin' pair of fake Vans for my Tee ball superstar (always out of the size I need, Damn you, Murphy!).

Then we came upon my favorite vendor in the place. I wish I'd had my camera, but it's probably better that I didn't. Two guys in their early twenties had a couple of rubbermaid tubs full of dirty wires bundled together, and a table full of car stereos.

Oh, you mean the fake Kenwoo and JBC manufactured in Korea? no no. Just a banquet table filled with the stereos that had been ripped out of dashboards all over town. Wires still hangin' from 'em. It was such a Stockton moment.

The only thing that topped it was reading the crime report in the newspaper today. Two guys tried to rob an ice cream vendor pushing a cart in one of the parks nestled in a residential neighborhood in north Stockton. They pulled a knife on him, and must have been dreaming of the cold hard cash they'd be getting from him. Instead the crazy bastard chased them away with a machete. Rock on, Crazy Ice Cream Man.

Note to self: Don't bitch about the incorrect change any more when we go to the park.

Sunday, June 10

Legal Action Pending....

Dear Frito Lay-

I am bringing this matter to your attention in hopes of a speedy resolution. Chili's Restaurant has shamelessly stolen your formula for Chili Fritos, and I'll be Dogdamned if they are not sprinkling it on any shrimp type food item that they sell. My next letter will be to them, demanding my money back for the two horrible dinners that they have conned out of me. Their "Cajun" shrimp was frito flavored, I accepted it and moved on. Remembering my experience with the Cajun stylings, I instead opted for the garlic lime shrimp. Imagine my horror when I realized it was exactly the same. They are just crushing your product up and sprinkling it on things indiscriminately. I urge you to consider a cease and desist order.



Dear Chili's-

If I want frito's, I will go to 7-11 and buy a bag. The next gift card we are given will be spent solely on alcohol. To the smarmy superior waiter? If I wanted to buy a T-shirt at the Skynrd concert, you would totally be the guy I'd look for. If you are serving my food, however, please trim that shit on your face into some semblance of order. I am the most mild mannered easy to please customer you will ever run across. If I felt compelled to check my food for stray whiskers, you are in bad shape, indeed, dude. If you MUST have a pony tail like a matted weasel dangling halfway down your back, could you braid it maybe? comb it? I found myself wishing for a mullet that would imply some sort of vanity and haircare. Your tip was maintained only by the fact that you spelled Dessert in front of my four year old.


A Concerned Customer

Sunday Quizfest

I was really disliking this result until we got to the occasional bloody civil war. I can live with it now.

You Should Date A Swede!

You're a romantic, albeit an understated and practical one.
It's more about a steady partnership for you, not unrestrained falling
Your Swede will give you the unwavering love you crave
While making up some mean pancakes and meatballs on the side!

Didn't see that coming. Are there Brown eyed Swedes? Because Blue eyes only really work for me with dark hair. Muuuch prefer the brown eyes...

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Jen!

  1. Ideally, Jen should be stored on its side at a temperature of 55 degrees!
  2. Jen has three eyelids.
  3. Reindeer like to eat Jen.
  4. Bees visit over three million flowers to make a single kilogram of Jen!
  5. You can tell if Jen has been hard-boiled by spinning it. If it stands up, it is hard-boiled.
  6. If you break Jen, you will get seven years of bad luck!
  7. An average beaver can cut down Jen every year!
  8. Astronauts get taller when they are in Jen.
  9. Jen once lost a Dolly Parton lookalike contest!
  10. Jen can be found on a Clue board between the Library and the Conservatory!
I am interested in - do tell me about

Okay this is actually a repeat from the beginnings of my blog, because I was looking back at the start....I totally missed my anniversary of starting this thing!

And may I say?

#8 is veeerrry interesting.

#7? It had better be an exceptional beaver.

#9, tee hee. We share her most famous attribute, but I think I could squash her like a bug, and I'd have to call Kat in Texas to find out how many cans of aquanet it would take to get my hair that big. Remember those days, Kat?

Jennfactor10 --


Smells like teen spirit

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at

Friday, June 8

I knew he was a putz.

Did Bon Jovi answer even one question?
I can't follow the link to the original interview from work, but really, I think this excerpt from the interview is plenty.
Makes me want to smack him even MORE than I already did.

Wednesday, June 6

Wednesday Hero

This Weeks Soldiers Were Suggested By Mary Ann

Col. David Sutherland
Col. David Sutherland(Left)
45 Years Old From Toledo, Ohio
Commander, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division

Since being deployed to the Diyala province of Iraq in November 2006, Col. David Sutherland, along with brigade Chaplain Maj. Charlie Fenton, pictured on the right, has made it a point to visit every wounded soldier and say goodbye to each and everyone of his men who've lost their life. Four of his soldiers died on one day in April 2007 and the bad news arrived at his office in waves -- a knock on the door, a note handed in by an aide, heads bowed, knowing glances exchanged. Aides say Sutherland walks to the mortuary affairs tent at his base and embraces the dead bodies of his men. "I hug all my fallen soldiers", said Sutherland. "They are my own".

Diyala province is one of the worst places in Iraq. Public beheadings of Iraqi police, tribal wars, sectarian wars and al-Qaida. "I didn't come here thinking it'd be easy. No one told me, 'You're gonna get 9 hours of sleep a night and you're not gonna lose soldiers'. But I believe this is the place for me."

"As a soldier, I want to be here on the ground," he said. "As an American, I want it to end."

For more information about Col. Sutherland, visit this page.

These brave men and women sacrifice so much in their lives so that others may enjoy the freedoms we get to enjoy everyday. For that, I am proud to call them Hero.
We Should Not Only Mourn These Men And Women Who Died, We Should Also Thank God That Such People Lived

This post is part of the Wednesday Hero Blogroll. To find out more about Wednesday Hero, you can go here.

Heroes. I looooved that show. Didn't want to geek out about it, or spoil anything for CRSE, who's gonna watch it all together on tivo. But I loved that show. But the name is almost overused, and the show kind of looks pale and wan next to the real life heroes who appear in these posts, and on our TV screens, and the thousands of soldiers that they represent.
I heard on the radio, someone speaking about supporting the troops but not believing in the war is a kick in the teeth to every soldier out there. HUH? I'm not even one of the people saying we should just pull out completely and let the Iraqis figure it out. I think now that we have made the mess, stop trying to justify our being there. It's too late, we ARE there. Every ounce of energy should be focused on getting adequate equipment to the troops that are already there, taking care of the troops that are coming home wounded, and finding a way for us to bring them home honorably. To me that means we need to finish what we have started, and leave the Iraqis with some sort of stable structure.
But to say that I insult our soldiers by not thinking we should ever have been there in the first place? That is EXACTLY why they are fighting. So another people would have the right to disagree with government policies without fear. C'mere and let me kick YOU in the teeth, buddy.

Friday, June 1

shut up, you whiny beeyatch.

Isn't Jon Bon Jovi too old to be played on the radio still?
Bon Jovi was a great hair band of the eighties, I'll grant you that.
Whatever the fuck the song that is out now is called, it is the.most.annoying.whiny.draggging-that-freaking-vowel-out-until-it's-good-and-dead.noise.
NOISE, I tell you.
I want to put a  pencil through my eardrum when I realize he's about to start whining again.   
Our AM radio station goes sports in the afternoon, now.
We're back to the alterna-pop station.
Why can't stations play more than fourteen songs in a day?
(It's on AGAIN)
kill me now