Thursday 13 #9?

Thirteen Things Jen enjoys (or would like to)





1…. I would like a zen beauty parlor. What do I mean? Shut up and cut my hair. I get to escape my kiddos once every four to six months, I do not have a personal relationship with any hairdresser in town, please do not try to bond with me while you are shampooing my hair (I'll slip you an extra ten if you can make it a forty five minute hair wash--God I love that part!), and shhhhhh... listen to the snip snip snip. Ask me relevant questions if you must, but oh, a fountain and a cucumber water, and silence. Bliss. When I told my Honey this, he was horrified, he WANTS them to talk to him, and is offended if they don't. So you'd have to have just a zen room where they understand to shush.

2. On that beauty note, how about a soundproofed childcare room with video monitoring? I would happily pay extra if it meant I didn't have to co-ordinate daycare. The best part about shopping at the Cookie Lee showroom, is that they provide free childcare, with a constant video feed so you can check on the rugrats without peeking around the corner and upsetting them.

3. Okay last salon issue...can we add a zen manicurist in there? That way your english skills are not an issue, and can we bring back the hand massage? When I was in high school my manicures included a hand massage that was heaven. The little bling nails 2000 type salons don't do squat for you.

4. You should understand that I love a gimmick. The cheesier and more obnoxious the better. I love a GOOD happy meal toy. Something with a shelf life beyond a day and a half. Some of those toys are EPIC and still fun four years later.

5. Fruit in happy meals. Fruit on the menu at all at a drive thru.

6. I see on the web that there are healthy drive thrus out there, serving good wholesome food. Just not here. But we've got a drive thru Starbucks!

7. Vapor Patches for little ones instead of smearing goo which invariably got into Big O's eyes or mouth when he was still my little o. Don't ask me how, but it always happened.

8. Used Bookstores. We have 300,000 people and ONE used bookstore.

9. Target's dollar bins. Target in general.

10. America's Test Kitchen on PBS.

11. Lately, Real Simple Magazine. The prices on clothes are horrendous for the real world, but everything else is lovely.

12. Digital Cameras. I just cannot believe how many bad, blurry photos of my brother's eighth grade graduation we have, or maybe I cannot believe that the crappy 110 camera from 1978 failed to capture more than 3 good photos of my brother's big blond 'fro.

13. Novelty socks. My honey brought me a pair of funny socks, and I would so rather get those than a stuffed animal. I took part in a funky sock exchange a few months back, which was essentially a chain letter where you only put two names on the letter, the person who sent it TO you (Karen), and yours, and the six friends you sent it to sent one pair of socks to Karen, and their friends send one pair to you, etc. Theoretically you get 36 pairs of socks for the one pair that you send... I'm such a sock junky that this was perfect for me. I figured I'd get three pair (36 pairs, my *ss), and I actually netted 5. yay!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!





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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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The truth revealed...

Yeah, there isn't enough alcohol in the WORLD to make me sign up for additional math courses. I kinda thought I'd flunk out on the nerd rating.

I cheerfully stole this from Casual Slack, and I scored higher than Jen, but I think that's because I have no social life that does not involve a keyboard--or a family member. She has fabulous weekend plans. I think I'm cleaning my house.

But I'm not much of a trekkie, either. My ex-husband could ace this:

Kiddos home sick--what fun

WHO are you?

I totally stole this from Sayre's blog but it had to be done!

THE NAME GAME

Rock & Roll Name: Posy Allegheny (first pet + Current Street Name)

Movie Star Name: Bleema Whatchamacallit (Grandfather/Grandmother's name on mother's side + favorite candy)

Fly-Girl or Fly-Guy Name: J-Mic (first initial of first name + first 2 or 3 letters of middle name)

Detective Name: Peacock Sloth (favorite color + favorite animal) Sounds more like a bad cartoon villain.

Star Wars Name: Fikjegr Re (first 3 letters of last name + first 2 letters of first name + first 2 letters of mother's maiden name + first 2 letters of the town you grew up in) Break it up however you want to.

Terrorist Name: Elehcim Redirg (middle name backwards + mother's maiden name backwards)

Awesome--photo won't load--stupid Blogger

They kicked ass, as you might have suspected. The funniest part was watching SIL shut down all pipes in a three row ring around her daughter. And everyone was very cool about it-- I have to admit, The honey and I were stunned at how well people took her request.

It was the first concert for both SIL and Fabu-Niece, and I'm glad they got to see a real blow your mind and your ears concert. My first concert was Power Station. ahem. It was the eighties, and Duran Duran was no more (we thought). By the time we got to go to the concert, we had both moved on musically, but my best friend (yet another Jeni) got tickets from her dad, and off we went to the Cow Palace in SF. After swearing to my parents that we would never leave his sight, Jen's dad waited in line with us and then told us where to meet him afterwards, because he'd sooner slit his wrists than go inside. Coolest Dad EVER.
The opening band was OMD. After that, I had to wait for Day on the Green at the Oakland Colliseum in 87(?) for U2, Pretenders, Hooters, and the BoDeans. I think we all know how that went. It was the Joshua Tree tour. 'nuff said.
Then in '91, another Day on the Green for Metallica, Queensryche, Faith No More, and Soundgarden. My date was a very pretty boy with big blue eyes and absolutely no common sense. He bought three hits for five bucks from some guy in the crowd, took them all, and proceeded to flip out. We had to park him halfway through Queensryche, and had to SIT on top of him for the entire Metallica set. The alternative was to let him get killed by the bikers whose asses he insisted on grabbing--male, female, front, back--he thought it was all just needing to be groped. Everyone was pissed (we went with his cousin and HIS girlfriend) , and when it was all over we went to IHOP and locked him in the car while we ate. That was the end of THAT relationship!
I went to see Robert Cray, then the Eagles, then Los Lobos (may I say, the most UNDERRATED rock n roll band ever), then another round with young Bob. Now the Chili Peppers. Not enough live music in my life!
I was grateful to not be the oldest, the geekiest, the fattest, or the most uncool. Fabu-Niece is such a cool kid. We were fascinated by the sign language interpreter rocking out down on the floor. What a killer job. We had terrible seats for the band but good for people watching.
What was your favorite concert?
AC/DC is my ring tone on my cell, but I would be afraid to see them at this point--what if they are old and bad? I don't think they've gone to the county fair circut yet, but man, I think I'll keep the fantasy. I'd still love to see Rush, Foo Fighters (Weezer opened for them last year-can you imagine what a show that would be?) , I'd see U2 again any day (same for Bob and Los Lobos). That's it, all I've got for tonight.
Who would you most like to go see?

oh, and Blogger sucks--go to flickr and check out other people's chili pepper photos--it was just like that!

Operation Lose That Ass: update

the Marshmallow Man Hot-Air Balloon, originally uploaded by mujinamo.

ugh. I know, I talk a lot of shit, but I think my momentum has withered. Wilted on the proverbial vine. The boss still has not brought his scale in, and I have no clue where I stand. Oh, the funny pants still fit, but I feel more like the stay puff Marshmallow man than someone who's going to be posting photos of my slimmer self in a month and a half.

I'm also feeling very old, as the Honey's niece, whom I adore, has chosen US to go with her to the Red Hot Chili Peppers tonight. Her mom got her tickets for her birthday on the condition that she take adults with her, and she chose the Honey and myself. I love this kid. She figured we had at least heard of them. The Chilis had been around back when I was high school, shite, twenty years ago...yes, thank you, we've heard of them. The problem is that I was never super into them, and Californication just about finished that off. Could the radio stations have played any song more to death?
But they are cool, and it's live music, and we're going. I told her we're going to show up with the little fans around our neck to blow the pot smoke away from her--she kinda turned green. Should I go out and find one just to further panic her? I wish I did not feel ancient and large. sigh.

Me Likey!

Your Career Personality: Original, Devoted, and Service Oriented

Your Ideal Careers: Art director, Book editor, College professor, Composer, Film director, Graphic designer, Novelist, Stage actor, Psychiatrist, Writer

The Quick and Dirty Career Test

Please note that nowhere on this list do the words "Personal Trainer", Aerobics Intructor," or "Health Nut" appear.

tee hee--What a geek.

Okay, in an epic post to my own geekiness, I have some other confessions.

It cracks me up when the word verification in (I think) wordpress tells me that I have to re-type the letters to prevent robots from posting. Excuse me? Robots? Couldn't you call them spammers, or automated systems, or even just computers? Because honestly, I just picture the robot from Lost in Space sitting at the computer reading blogs. Can I also tell you that I do a mean impression of that robot shouting "Danger, Danger, Will Robinson!"--complete with arms flailing as I swing back and forth from the waist up. It's really a very impressive sight.

what?

Why are you shaking your head?

I was also a big fan of Star Trek with the ever intriguing Jean-Luc Picard, right up until they made him a Borg. As soon as they had him utter the words "Resistance is futile," it was over for me. Damn "Them".
I've been a geek for a very long time, and while they made a movie called the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, It was First a book. In the mid to late eighties, it was also turned into a computer game that I HAD to have (please, mom? please? Computerland has it, and I'll save up all my money--please mom? pllllleeeeaaaassssseee????????). Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect were forever trapped in the hold of a passing space cruiser because this was before the days of hint books (unless you counted those wierd mad lib things with the invisible ink pens to reveal clues, but there was nothing for THIS game.). I stared at that stupid Amber monitor all summer long, and it didn't matter what I tried-the guard would just shout over and over, "Resistance is Useless!" This was not a graphic game, it was text-only.

Hey, man, it WAS the mid-eighties.

So they ruined Picard for me by having him say the same stupid line (essentially), as the stupid guard at the stupid door. Stupid game.

Great books, though. Revolutionary, really.

Mmmmm...books. Just call me the Homer Simpson of the bookstore.
Not a high brow reader, I read for escape and entertainment. Oprah's book club, while heartfelt and gut-wrenching and life changing, is nothing that I consistently look for in a book.

Any geeks out there in the big wide world? I would highly recommend the Genellan series by Scott Gier. The alien calling her name over the airwaves....that scene has stayed with me for years.

I loves me a strong female character making the hard choices:

Daughter of Empire by Raymond Feist and Janny Wurtz. Phenominal.


Silver Branch by Patricia Keneally. Really a good blend of Sci-fi and Fantasy--and I had a Celtic obsession in high school.

Price of the Stars by Debra Doyle and James D. MacDonald. Rollicking Space Opera, as my uber geek friend Jim would say.

Warrior's Apprentice by Lois Mc Master Bujold. More rollicking Space Opera, not actually a female protagonist, but Miles is very in touch with his Feminine side. :D I cannot start recommending books and not put Miles in there.

The Sacrifice By Kristine Kathryn Rusch. A very different take on the whole fey/fairy thing.

Cautionary Disclaimer: Each of these books begins a series. I do not guarantee that the quality remains consistent throughout the series. But they are kick-ass starts. 'Cause I'm a kick-ass chick. peep peep!

If you have not given your grandmother the Mitford books, get them for her for Christmas. Nothing heavy, not a mystery, not really a romance, they are just delightful escape. I closed the cover on the first book,At Home in Mitford, and I didn't want another book (VERRRY unusual for me)--I just wanted to enjoy the afterglow. Borrow it when she's done.

Good Grief.

This is getting weird. Blogger is now selectively posting my posts and comments.

Is it just me? I cannot post comments to My TT peeps, and my Linky box ate a week's worth of posts and tied everything to LAST Thursday's comments. I finally got that little slice of heaven fixed, but I feel so vaklempt (SP?) about missing all of the TT'ers... sigh. Next week.

Blogger is so distracted by my stunning weight loss that it can no longer function in my e-presence. Yup.

Can I get everybody to give a big salute to Sayre, who lost 12 pounds?!?!?

I'm in awe.

Okay, I'm really green with envy.

No, really, look at my blog, I'm GREEN.

yep, I'm a geek.

Thursday 13 #8--Confessions

Thirteen Confessions about Jen1…. I am not afraid of spiders, but the television sign off creeps me the hell out. For those of you under thirty, at one point, television stopped each night, usually around midnight. 2...I have hobbit toes--I am the one they are talking about in the summer sandal pledge. But you will all have to be blinded by their ugliness, because I have now seen worse, and I'm not giving up my flip-flops! 3...I have memories of flying as a child--and they are as real to me (in MY memory) as any recollection of christmases past. 4...I really think that my ex is gay, but he doesn't know it, and could never come to terms with it. 5...I think of myself as a feminist, but I really could not care less if the Honey is surfin' porn. More power to him, and maybe a little more somethin'-somethin' for me. 6...I feel like I make my kid even more of an outsider at school by refusing to get cable, but I feel that we have too much idiot box in our lives already. 7...I like some country music. I've always been a music snob, but man, I love something I can sing to. 8...I could be a crazy cat lady...I'm a terrible housekeeper and a packrat to boot. 9...I owe an apology to a friend from years ago for being so judgemental about how she was raising her daughter. I should have been more supportive and maybe I'd have seen that she was spinning out of control. 10...I put the PRO in procastinate. 11...I'm a good speller and a terrible typist. I type for a living. Maybe I should spell for a living? 12...I think I am a disappointment to my parents because I have not made it back to school. 13...They'll have to wait a bit longer.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

It's not that easy, bein' green....

Veggie Co-op produce, Week 16, originally uploaded by hpatey.

Sigh. Me and kermit the frog. I'm trying to decide what to make for dinner. Nothing sounds good--but it WILL involve ground turkey and spanish rice (GASP!) yes, a cheap-ass from the box spanish rice--from my friends at rice-a-roni. I know HOW to make real spanish rice, but why? The honey only kind of likes it--For him, it's all about the beans. Real refried beans. I know how to make those, too, but he'll have to EARN those. Going out drinking with the boys does NOT earn you homemeade refried beans. Screw him, maybe I'll just have scrambled eggs. Or not. sigh. Maybe just some watermelon...mmm...no cooking, there... probably not. bleah. I want an unlimited grocery budget so I can make fabulous exotic foods. Or I'd like to be taken out to a good dinner, by the man. We went to Garlic Brothers after big O's party, which is always good, and it always lives up to the name, but I want a huge stirfry full of crisp snow peas, and water chestnuts, and carrots, but NOT bell peppers.
Yep. That's what I want.

Oooh, Temptation.

Food: Chocolate Croissant From Cafe Cocoa, originally uploaded by tonytam.

Forget krispy kremes, THIS is my weakness....a chocolate croissant and an ice cold glass of milk...maybe on my birthday..?

Operation Lose that ASS, update

Fat Pants Log, August 21.

(I AM a geek, after all)

I do not own a scale. The boss sponsoring the weight loss contest at work has taken his scale home and has not brought it back despite the mewling pleas of the remaining three contestants. BUTT...er, but...

I am wearing an absurd pair of beige striped pants that I had put away as unwearable. They are, in fact, 18's, and while I'm still not convinced they would not appear in a glamour magazine "Don't"(with the nifty black box across my ass, I mean eyes), they are once again comfortable. And my work Polo, which was tragically shrunk to pornographic (given my anatomical layout) proportions, is once again fit for decent society. It's loose enough that you cannot count the rolls of backfat or tell the temperature while reading the logo over the left breast (a favorite parlor game of the great unwashed that come into our lobby).

So, Nikki, Sayre, Other hapless OLTA participants, sharpen your poetry skills, because I'll be wanting it in verse. Stanzas, if you will. Can anybody tell me what iambic pentameter really means? I'll leave you with a recommendation:

Oh Yeah, Baby!

I am once again stealing from CRSE

I LIKE this one! To play, go Here and pick the five quotations that call to you, and that you think sum up who you are. I'm not sure I can choose just five.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955),

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.

Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 - 1959)

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Plato (427 BC - 347 BC)

We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about.

Charles Kingsley (1819 - 1875)

It is easier to stay out than get out.

Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)


Okay, those are my five but here are the runners up:

It is good to rub and polish our brain against that of others

Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)

Like its politicians and its wars, society has the teenagers it deserves.

J. B. Priestley (1894 - 1984)

God is not dead but alive and well and working on a much less ambitious project.

Anonymous, Graffito

It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.

Harry S Truman (1884 - 1972)

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Bill Watterson (1958 - ), Calvin and Hobbes



There it is, the essential Jen. I think that the Mark Twain quote probably reveals more about me than I had intended...hmm, have to give that some thought. The Charles Kingsley is definitely my philosophy and coping mechanism.

All my pre-teen Pod People..

I don't know how to make this bigger! 

We did it! We survived!

Krispy Kreme Cake, originally uploaded by supa_jen_10.

The cake was easier than I thought!
Big O made out like a bandit, and The kid with peanut allergies knew to bring his own cupcake! When they were in first grade, this boy had an allergic reaction to something with nuts, and forever after, Big O would tell people he was allergic to something if he didn't want to eat it. I think I have to post these separately...

Big Day Tomorrow!

Little O was having Alien envy, so we made her her own very special mask in pink--I may HAVE to add a bow to hers...My uber-boss, who throws us a killer christmas party each year, and is the one putting up the cash for the weight loss contest ($10 per LB, People!), dug around in his desk and came up with some gift certificates for dozens of free Krispy Kreme doughnuts. He gave me everything that he had, which is about fourteen dozen MORE than I'll need. The iffy thing is that they expired in 2003, but in California, litigation central, gift certificates are not allowed to expire, so he thinks I'll be fine. Wish me luck! 

Thursday 13 #7

Thirteen Things that made JENFACTOR smile in the last week.1...Shopping with my Best Jen, Something we have not done in at least ten years. Ohmigod, it was heaven to shop with a grown up, let alone the woman who knows me best! 2...Little O says to me, "Mama, you car is talking about Barnes & Noble again..." At this point my mother would like to remind me that I have to teach her that it's the radio, and not my car speaking, but it's so damned funny when she says these things. That's why my mom doesn't read my blog. 3...Talking a little shit to Nikki and the other girls (was there a guy?) involved in Operation Lose That Ass... (another reason my mom does not read my blog...Oh,Jenniferr, you don't have to curse to get your point across...but it's fun and I can't do it in front of the kids!) 4...Coming home from work expecting the usual, and finding out that the honey and the kids have emptied the dishwasher for me without being asked. 5...Big O making a microwave meal for the Honey, which surprised us all..Butt the best part was when I thanked him for making it for the Honey while I was busy, Big O says, "Well, Mom , I kind of HAD to...He doesn't know how to do ANYTHING in the kitchen"-said with wonder and disbelief. YAY! My son understands that this is the wrong attitude for a modern male, and offered to do it for the Honey spontaneously. 6...Went to a Cookie Lee meeting, finally, and it was NOT torture, I LIKEa lott of the new stuff, and I might be able to help a friend earn a little money if she wants. 7...I over-spiced the fruit salad and almost had the Honey convinced I was trying to kill him, but I was laughing so hard I was crying. 8...I have not mentioned work because work has been Hellishly ugly between lack of garbage cans and screaming customers, so Hooray, it's Thursday!!! 9...I met a lady who had just been given a crazy cat lady action figure and showed it proudly to all she met--totally secure in her future as a crazy cat lady. 10...Getting caught up on even one aspect of myhousekeepingg makes it all seem so much more do-able. Thank Goodness! 11...Big O's partay is only two days away, now!!! 12...Little O spoke her Spanishh goodbyes beautifully and clearly to the entire housefull of people at the sister-in-laws... Muy Bien! 13...I found a friend that could have been on my missing persons list, another bookstore friend I'd lost touch with, and someone whom I genuinelyenjoyy...will email her first thing tomorrow to follow up! Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. Its easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Am I back?

Helloooo???

How Perfect for WTF Wednesday!

WTF happened to my Blog?

No idea what happened or where I went...hope I had fun!



Yesterday's apology was my 100th post! woo-hoo!

pardon me (hic)

I wash a liddle drunky when I tyuped my posht thish mornin'.

Or I'm a moron, and I cannot type, and posting before 8 am means I do not proof read.

I can't edit from work, as THE MAN has banned blogging. On an interesting side note, my man would like to ban blogging, he's very jealous of the time I spend on the computer, but I almost have him convinced that it's the same time I would spend reading, and a hell of a lot cheaper, considering how I plow through books...

Anyway, sorry about the drunken post. But try the recipe!

I'm not cruel and heartless...

See? now I'm feeling bad about my grilled cheese attack. The official name of this thing is Operation Lose That Ass! So This is what we had for dinner on tuesday.
YUM!!!!!
IT's jsut a big veggie sanshich, but we made a few changes, which I owe to Bre, my personal trainer/co-worker extraordinaire.
We put it on toasted tortillas, I cut out about half of the olive oil and used lime juice, and added cayenne pepper to the beans. Bre sprinkled hers with chili powder, but I grabbed the wrong bottle, and it turned out great. How good for you are they? I dunno, but it had to be healthier than McDonalds. So there ya go!