Saturday, April 21

Here's one for ya...

the scandal of the starving baby
Originally uploaded by Djuliet.

File this under super-dorkfession, agonizing admission of my own idiocy, or AW CRAP. (Okay that may have been funnier with the original typo of aw carp)

Several months ago the link on my blog to Locus Magazine, the alpha and omega of sci-fi book news, geek central, was advertising for an administrative assistant. You must understand that books used to be my life. My life's work. I quit school because working in the bookstore was so much fun. I was lured away from books by filthy lucre (and not much, at that), and I have pined for books ever since. To have even a slight chance to work at a magazine dealing with (presumably) articulate and thinking beings, and have a job that did not involve a panic button and a plexiglass spit shield was too much to pass up. I did not care that it involved a commute to the bay area and, by extension, less money than I make now (how is that possible without a paper hat and a nametag?). They asked for a cover letter describing your interest in sci-fi. I think I tasted honey.

I agonized over that cover letter. It couldn't just be a list of books, but how to narrow it down? Who did they want me to like? What if I mentioned the author they hated? Should I 'fess up that I couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't geek out if Raymond Feist or George R. R. Martin called? I finally got my letter down to the basic loves of my sci fi reading. I confessed, not my fear of hyperventilation faced with certain authors, but rather my absolute disinterest in Manga or old-school hard sci-fi. I thought they should know. If they hired me, it would become evident that certain names made my eyes roll back in my head.

I fretted over e-mailing it to them, worrying that I'd screw it up somehow, and reveal my dorkiness. I bit the bullet and I pressed the send button, and gave them every one of my e-mails so they could choose where to reply. Can you see it coming?

I got brave and told my mother that I had taken this huge daring step (for me) in applying for a dream job. I know I tell you all how close my mom and I are, and how I adore my parents and we have this perfect relationship. Let me now reveal that she is still my mother, and we have a very real relationship. Her response was, and I quote,

"Jenny, that's just stupid. Why would you apply for a job in the bay area. It can't pay very much, and you think you could commute?" blah blah blah. Fill in with more of the same. Thanks, mama-san. sigh.

But I faithfully checked my email accounts, and listened to the crickets chirp. I used the canned air on my keyboard so I would be ready to reply. In my cover letter I acknowledged that I might be too far away to commute, but that I'd like to discuss the possibility--damn! I shot myself down! I would like to thank Bre for listening patiently while I agonized back and forth about what I might have done wrong. She's very patient anyway, but that stuff HAD to get old.

Then it happened. The ad was taken down. My dream was over.

Life goes on. At least until you remember a thing called the answering machine, something gathering dust in the corner because it's always full of mortgage re-fi pitches that chap my renter's hide. Every once in a while I clear out the messages to make room for more re-fi con men, but it's a pain in the ass because you have to listen to each message. There are also a ton from my ex, telling Big O to pick up. Annoying to listen to him in person, let alone in memorex. Oh, and a message from Locus Magazine asking me to give them a call.

They called. I never checked my machine, it never occurred to me that they would CALL, when everything had been via computer up to that point. They.Called.Me.
And they hired someone else, without ever knowing that I was the one they really wanted and needed.

There is my deep dark Saturday Dorkfession. I will be a little old lady rocking myself in a corner, slapping my forehead, saying "Check your messages." Maybe I'll get the golden trash can award for a life's work in garbage. Maybe I'll snap and threaten to dump MY garbage on THEIR porch if they don't shut the hell up and listen to me. Locus Magazine called me and I was too dorky to check my messages. LOCUS MAGAZINE. Worst part? I can't tell my mom they called, 'cause then I'd have to fess up the rest.

I'm off to beat the concept into my children that they WILL go to college, they WILL NOT quit for a shite paycheck in a fun retail job.


crse said...

Oh pumpkin! Im SO SORRY!!! I remember the whole thing in its planning stages. Is there any way you can frame this as one of those things where the universe was protecting you from having to face the hard choice? maybe? (im just cringing along with you)

Factor 10 said...

I spent about two weeks trying to come up with an excuse to call her back and NOT sound like I was begging for her to keep me in mind if the bright young college grad she probably hired did not work out. It wasn't a pretty time.
I may change my avatar (or whatever you call those things) from my monkey to this crying baby. I love that picture.

Charles Sheehan-Miles said...

This I understand completely. There's nothing like applying for a dream job. Job searches suck, but when it's something you really really really want to do.... wow.

bananas62 said...

Jen! My sincere heartfelt sympathy... they don't know what they are missing! You'd be totaly awesome, so keep your eye out and maybe soon you'll see it again!!!

ZigZagMan said...

Funny story if you'll bear me out..:)

I recently got a call from a software firm......kinda thought it was an ebay or some other make 5k a month from home deal.....but panned out to be real.

Lass called my machine...and said found your resume on-line...oh here is your I'll just send the details..

I checked out the website.....and it's legit....then came the nail biting......I pondered and pondered...and sent a reply......basically saying thank you for considering me and my resume....not sure if the hours you are looking for can work, but please contact me if you'd like to talk more....(Me trying to be honest here)..

Then the wait.....a week of reply...hrrmmmm, and I pondered more.....and some more..(I'm building the suspense here abit for dramatic effect...but basically true)

Needless to reply....then I got an idea so silly it may just work!!!! I sent another e-mail.....basically stating that while I had e-mail has been squirrly of late, and I've taken the liberty to attatch a list of references for your consideration......thank you again for your consideration...

next day I got an E-mail back saying...if I was still interested...please call us for an interview...:) I have an interview monday morning..:)

Long story short...maybe too late...but anywho...just because they've filled the position, dosn't mean that person will last a them again...and let them know your still interestred should the need come up!!:)

gretty said...

I'm feeling devastated for you. I need to take to my bed now and cover my head with a pillow...