Monday, April 2

My Waking Nightmare--oh, and four more things

So I was just surfing my favorite blogs, and both Luckybuzz and
XO mentioned real life meetings with their blogging buddies.

CRSE tagged me for five heretofore unblogged things about myself.

How about this one:** I am socially retarded.

Oh, Jen, you have written that before.

Yes, but I don't think you grasp the depths of my social ineptitude. I would be, literally, stiff as a board, back against the wall, smiling and declining offers to dance or one more drink. Okay, maybe not the one more drink, but sweet lord tiny baby Jesus, I would be tense and unhappy in a fiesta type situation. I am severely, pathologically shy. Once you get enough lube alcohol in me I can loosen up enough to actually speak, but it would literally take weeks of conditioning to get me to be myself. I seriously don't think the Honey knew that I existed for the first few (12) months that we were hanging out in the same place. Because I was a ghost, baby. I think I baffle the Honey's friends. Possibly his family, too.

Shite, now that I have started this, I have to think of four more, don't I?

**I suck ass at all games involving physical aptitude--Pool, Darts, Anything involving a bat or racket. I always think I can kick the Honey's ass at trivia games and he always surprises me--freaking sports categories suck. This fact may have been inferred by my Dork status, but I am sure there are sports dorks out there, somewhere.

**Rather than the oh-so-common 1970's Jennifer, my parents had 2 other names in the running.
1. Rhonda, after the uncle in Vietnam (who was, in fact, seriously wounded, and my Mom did have a dream to that effect the same time he was wounded, but I arrived before she was notified, thank goodness).

2. My father campaigned hard for Escherichia. I come from a long proud line of Okie Dorks. Okie Dokey? Started out as Okie Dorky. Little known fact. For my non-medical friends, my dad wanted me named after the E in E. coli. Again, thank you Mom for stepping in.

**I was once solicited for prostitution at a magazine stand in Downtown Oakland. The guy kept mumbling and I kept smiling and asking him to repeat himself because I could not make out what he was saying. He was saying "Do you want to make some money?" I was twelve. My mom had us out of there in three seconds flat.

one more, one more...

**I once had a sheep named after me. Quite possibly the freakiest conversation I've ever had.

Um, tag? I'd like to tag Kim, just to get her to fucking post again.


crse said...

Just when I think I cannot love you anymore you pull out all of this. Brilliant baby. Sheerly brilliant.

Jen said...

Wow. We're two of a kind. :) I too am on the shy side until I get to know people, then you can't shut me the heck up.
I was supposed to be Jillian. My mom woke from the anethesia to find that I was a run-of-the-mill 1973 Jennifer. Sigh... Fourteen Jennifers in my graduating class. It gets old...

Not So Anonymous Michelle said...

OMG, this post made me laugh so much...I too am the shy wallflower until I get to know people...the prostitute and sheep stories are hilarious! I always liked my name and was glad to hear it really was the only one my mom thought of.

Mert said...

Darling, we are one and the same in the fiesta department. Only I tend to say too much at times, and say really embarrassing things about my past to complete strangers. I emotionally vomit on them, because i am nervous and can't think of anything to talk about. I try not to do this anymore and the only thing I can come up with us to not talk. :D

I am so very very glad that you weren't named after crap.

Were you living in Oakland at the time? I used to live in Hayward (in a Townhouse right next to the BART- a complex called Atherton Place, near A street), and lived on Treasure Island in the Navy.

Mert said...

I forgot to mention that I lived in Oakland too, on Park View Terrace, right across the street from Lake Merrit... and I worked at Summit Medical Center through a registry as an LVN. I walked home from work sometimes. :D Man , I miss the Bay Area. We moved almost 6 years ago.