Books...

I just finished the third book by George R Martin, Storm of Swords. Great stuff, but I am so poor, and good books make me want MORE good books of equal quality. sigh. I think that there is a fourth book, not sure if it's out in paperback. Guess I'll have to go check.
The big weigh-in is tomorrow, and I think I'm going to fail. crap. I do not own a scale, but I do have a half gallon of vanilla ice cream. Is that bad? Wish me luck.

Something different...

What type of Fae are you?

I stole this from CRSE over at Zamphir

GRUB-OLOGY
What is your salad dressing of choice? At home, Girard's Champagne dressing in the triangle bottle, out it's blue cheese.
What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Wendy's
What is your favorite sit down restaurant? Japanese place here in town, Shi Ra Soni.
On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? I believe good service should be rewarded, and I'v been known to tip 25%, but average is 17-20%, depending on how it rounds up to an even dollar amount. I am mortified when somody else leaves a crap tip for what I felt was good service. I'm always trying to casually leave an extra bill under my plate...
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Watermelon!
Name three foods you detest above all others.
1)Pickles-I understand that you did not put a pickle ON my sandwich, it's just a garnish, but it's vile pickle juice has infected the virgin bread of my sandwich and I'd really like a new one.
2)Tiny Tomatoes. I like tomatoes sliced, but the flavor of those litle ones, and the way they explode in your mouth? ugh.
3)Gobs of mayonnaise. I don't mind a thin layer of mayo and I understand it's value, but if my food is spooging mayo out of it's crevices, I'm done. again, ugh.
What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant? Snow Peas and Water Chestnuts at the Golden Dragon in Redding. I loves me some sizzling rice soup, though, and will order it anywhere it's offered...
What are your pizza toppings of choice? Pepperoni-plain if it's from Mountain Mikes (man, do they understand pepperoni), with mushroom, olive, and COLD tomato if somewhere else.
What do you like to put on your toast? Buttah, maybe a little jam if it's homemade.
What is your favorite type of gum? Something minty, I don't really care what.
TECH-OLOGY
Number of contacts in your cell phone? maybe 20?
Number of contacts in your email address book? again, maybe 20, not counting all of the work folks...I gues then it would double to forty.
What is your wallpaper on your computer? My O's showing me how old they are.
What is your screensaver on your computer? A slideshow of family photos.
Are there naked pictures saved on your computer? Yeah, they're included in the slideshow! (NOT)
How many land line phones do you have in your house? As opposed to cordless, or as opposed to cellular? one house phone, and it's cordless.
How many televisions are in your house? 3.
What kitchen appliance do you use the least? The coffee maker, and I love coffee, but I cannot drink a whole pot by myself, so I never make it.
What is the format of the radio station you listen to the most? They changed the alternative radio station we listened to at work to some crap mtv format, so I'm not sure any more, in my car it's NPR, Country, or the other alternative station that we kind of sort of get in...There is no rock format in town.
How many sex toys do you own that require batteries? Wow, someone said four. Our house may at some point have had one...
BI-OLOGY
What do you consider to be your best physical attribute? Others think it's my ginormous chest, but they don't have to shop for it. I'd say my smile.
Are you right handed or left handed? Right.
Do you like your smile? Yes, but only becasue it's my natural state. I feel odd NOT smiling.
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? A couple babies (stolen from CRSE)
Would you like to? I think about a breast reduction, and MAN, I just saw a girlfriend's tummy tuck--gnarly scar, and her va-jay-jay seems to start just below her belly button, but she's got picture perfect abs, now. Not anything I've ever really contemplated, but I envy her fashion options now.
Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom? I prefer to read everywhere. Anywhere. I get in trouble for bringing a book to my mother-in-laws' house. If I'm alone, I'm almost guaranteed to be reading.
Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? No clue.
When was the last time you had a cavity? I have some right now.
What is the heaviest item you lift regularly? Little O is only 32 lbs, but she's the ONLY thing I lift regularly.
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Nope.
MISC-OLOGY
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? Nope. I'd get manic trying to make sure everyone was set for it, and spend the last of my time miserable.
If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? I hated being one of forty million Jennifers. I thought Jordan would have been a better choice. Now that I am out of school, and not surrounded by the other forty million jens, I'm okay with it. It's who I am.
How do you express your artistic side? I cut and paste my kid's party invitations. I don't really have an artistic side, but I like to borrow other people's to appease my sense of aestheics.
What color do you think you look best in? pinks and blues, unfortunately. Not always a pink kinda girl.
How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison? I'd have to be somebody's wifey-bitch, cause I don't like pain.
Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? Not to my knowledge!
If we weren’t bound by society’s conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at?No, most of my relatives are hill-folk, you know?
How often do you go to church? I don't.
Have you ever saved someone’s life? nope.
Has someone ever saved yours? Not unless you count the person who got me out of retail.
DARE-OLOGY
Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000? Could I be drunk and could it be across the country from where I live?
Would you kiss a member of the gender you don't normally kiss, for $100? Sure!
Would you have sex with a member of gender you don't usually have sex with for $10,000? If my honey doesn't mind (and he'd probably like to watch), sure!
Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? Yep.
Would you never blog again for $50,000? Ouch. yes, if I could still read them.
Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? Ug. Maybe. have to see how they turned out.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? I don't think that I could.
Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000? Only if I could choose the person, not a random innocent life.
Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000? In a heartbeat.
Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? Again, in a heartbeat.

I Love My O's

carousel horse, originally uploaded by fabrica_imago.

The other day, Little O and I were driving down the street by the golf course, and somebody is strapping a carousel horse into the back of a pick up truck. I'm thinking it must be nice to have that kind of cash... we make it about two more blocks when Little O pipes up.

"Mama, we need a new car."

"Oh? What's wrong with our car, Baby?"

"We need to get a truck with a horse on the back. You can drive the truck, and I will ride the horse. Okay, mama?"

Friday....ahhhhhh...

lazy. out of town meeting (okay) followed by craptastic night. no energy for anything but a blogthing today. apparently i'm even too lazy to hit the shift button. sigh.

Your Birthdate: November 12

You're a dynamic, charismatic person who's possibly headed for fame. You tend to charm strangers easily. And you usually can get what you want from them. Verbally talented, you tend to persuade people with your speaking and writing. You are affectionate and loving, but it's hard for you to commit to any one relationship. Your strength: Your charm Your weakness: Your extreme manipulation tactics Your power color: Indigo Your power symbol: Four leaf clover Your power month: December

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Thursday 13 #4

Thirteen Lost Connections JEN would like to find So there are six degrees of separation ? Most of these people are bookstore friends that I lost when one of us moved on. Where better than the blogosphere to see if they are still out there… 13 Amazing People that I have completely lost touch with: 1. Anne Marie McNamara: Crazy woman (now in her mid-thirties) who used to have looong red hair that she never cut. We went to high school together and she kept me entertained until she moved away… The last I heard, she had left Arizona for Chicago, because she heard it was a great town. No plan, no contacts, just heard it was a great town…but that was sooooo AnneMarie. 15 years ago? I think about Anne Marie all the time. 2. Jeniffer Darice Regan: My best friend in junior high, she became much more urbane than I could ever aspire to be when she moved to Santa Maria, dropped the Jeni and became Darice. Last I heard whe was pursuing her art, working in a gallery in Los Gatos, and flying around with her (Brazillian?) boyfriend. Thirteen Years ago? 3. Michelle Pellersels: The warmest, funniest person I’ve ever met. She lives in Hawaii, and I actually got a Christmas card from her last year after years out of touch. My children promptly spilled something all over the envelope, and the Honey threw it out. I’m hoping she’ll try again. 4. Wendy Hoffman: Wendy was an amazing co-worker from the bookstore in Chico, where she was majoring in Women’s Studies. Wendy was kind and generous to a geeky kid totally out of her league in a party town like Chico. She made sure that I was included in things and was amazing to sit down and talk to. When I grow up, I’d like to be a lot like Wendy. I hope she has kids where ever she is, because we need more of her in the world. 5. Robb Wolf(f?): We worked together in Redding, he moved down to LA, then stopped by to see me before he headed to the Pacific Northwest. Robb was into bodybuilding and Karate. Watching him eat a can of tuna and two raw eggs for lunch was vile, but he had a huge heart and a huge brain, and was a really good guy. 6. Nick Sage: Nick worked with me in Visalia, and the last I heard from him he was living in Montana while his girlfriend studied archaeology or paleontology (One of the two). Nick accused me of selling my soul for motherhood, and trading in my brain for baby bottles. I was a little shocked and bitter. Now I realize that I was trying so hard to be a perfect mommy in my new life, so nobody would know that my marriage was sh*t. I wish I could thank him for his honesty and his perception, because everyone else bought it for years, including me. I still have pictures of Nick as Hellboy for Halloween, scaring all the kids that came into the store. 7. Julia Smith: Julia was also in Visalia, I inherited she and Nick when I went to that store. Last I heard from Julia, she was living in San Jose with Eric, but was seriously contemplating moving back to the Visalia area. 8. Phyllis Rejoice Harris: I love that name. I loved Joy. She was a riot, but very sweet natured. When Joy walked into a room, everyone drifted into orbit around her. She was just somebody you wanted to hang out with. I’d love to know if she stuck with Marine Biology, or found something else. 9. Amanda Harris: Amanda was also a Visalia employee. I interviewed Amanda and Joy about three hours apart and I couldn’t decide which one to hire….I ended up with both. Amanda was tiny, and had this razor sharp edge to her. When Disney did the Hercules movie , Meg made me think of Amanda. Amanda ended up marrying Joy’s brother, Kenny, after I moved away. That kid had such a sharp wit! Very dry… 10. Joan Crider: Joan worked with me in Hanford, and she was an adult in ways that most of us were not. She was married to a minister, her kids were just starting high school, but she was the neatest lady. When I think of the Mitford books, they evoke that same sort of feeling. Joan was not perfect, did not claim to be anything close to perfect, but she was mellow and even tempered and just delightful to spend time with. My best friend ended up hiring her son, Nathan, when he graduated. 11. Carole Franklin: My junior year English teacher. She pulled me out of my loathing of all things school by nurturing my love of verbage. She moved away when her husband got transferred, and I cringe to think what she’d make of my incomplete college career, but she was an inspiration to me and I admire her to this day. 12. Cindy Kunakemakorn: I’ve probably misspelled that. Cindy was another friend from high school. My mom worked with her father, so I know that she was going to go to school for pharmacology (and would never have been the thong snapping girl from the country club). She went to visit her parents’ families in Thailand and ended up working in broadcasting for a while, I believe. She and Amanda (#9) would have gotten along beautifully. People were constantly underestimating her because she was a “nice Asian girl.” She was a cheerleader, which if you knew her, was hysterical, because there was never a less likely scenario. She was the angry cheerleader, because she had to deal with, well, cheerleaders. 13. Pat Grizzel: My first district manager, Patrick left B&N to go somewhere in Virginia, I think. Pat was a poet and a rebel and not ever politically correct. He paired me with my future best friend , Jen, and forced the Stockton B&N to hire me (I chanced upon him while applying for a part time job). I loved that man. Can I add an extra? 14.Jen Fikes: I’d really like to find her. At twenty-three she owned the world, had no fear, and made decisions based solely upon her moral compass. She led a very uncomplicated life. Of course, now that I think of it, she made a whopping twenty grand a year and drove 700 miles both ways to do laundry at her mommy’s house every other weekend… Maybe I wasn’t as independent as I remember. But I’d kill to have that self-confidence back—that body, too! Links to other Thursday Thirteens! (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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WTF Wednesday

Let me preface this by saying it out loud. I'm white. I am blinding when bared, glow in the dark, Ward and June Cleaver white bread white. Having said that, I am intelligent, and reasonably young. Some of the songs on the radio are funny in a misogynistic/misguided way, and the bouncy tunes are fun for brief periods. I am not the crazy cat lady who thinks all young people are evil, or cursing rap music as the downfall of society. Nor am I that bitter woman wishing for the fifties or sixties again, angry that the Beatles ever showed up to "ruin" things. I'm not that woman.

But WTF?

As I have stated, I live pretty close to the stinky armpit of California's great Central Valley. We are not Miami, or L.A., or any other hip place ever featured on MTV. A few weeks ago in the local paper, there was a write up about local car buffs, who tricked out their cars like their Mack Daddy heroes on MTV. But this is the Central Valley, where your paycheck is more likely coming from Burger King, and so the fellows in the article have made some adjustments. They pimp out their rides, all right, but budget style! They cannot afford a caddy, and they are not ashamed to admit it. For these guys, the ride of choice is a Buick.

So the Puritanical Quaker budget Nazi within salutes these guys for living within their means. Absolutely. My inner Jen is screaming*if you didn't spend four grand on rims, you could've had a nicer car! These guys were in the paper for building their own lifestyle brand (they had a name for it-209 Hyphy? Thinking about calling it Styphy for Stockton-hyphy), because they were Rollin' Budget style.

So now the madness continues*.

Yesterday we had an article about the local music scene, and they included they lyrics from a rising local talent. Ready?

"I'll beat you down to a pulp and slide off in a Chevelle,
Don't come from out of town with that bull,
We're 209 hyphy
We fight like it's cool."

-Dee Underdue
-"Like to Fight-Valley Anthem"

WTF was that? Maybe this one will tickle your Mother's soul*

"We got that rough for those who come from out of town hatin'
No conversatin' when you're disrespectin' Stockton, Cali
You call it Mudville,
Here we call it Murder Valley.

-Mackalot
-"I'm from Stockton"

I take it back. I am that lady. Shut the f*ck up about your Chevy Chevelle (isn't that the hatchback thing?). I'm moving to the sticks with my parents. Kiss your homemade Mexican food goodbye, Honey. I'm not taking your mother.

I'd like to thank the Stockton Record for this post. It is officially a WTF Wednesday now.

I had to share this with you all...

DSC00785, originally uploaded by supa_jen_10.

Because it makes me laugh. I took this at our local ballpark last year. I don't remember who we were playing, but the guy on the field is, um, being played, by the character Shark McGuire.
Do you think Mark McGuire knew it would come to this?

Pet Peeve...

This may be more than a pet peeve, but slightly less than the throbbing vein in my forehead bursting... is there a term for that?

People who tell small children to Shut Up.

I'm not saying that you cannot silence your kids (Please, DO!). But there are a thousand ways to say it without those ugly words that reduce a small child to dust. I admit that I now say it to Big O, but only when we are in joke mode, never when we're seriously butting heads. He has reached double digits, and understands the context. Little O would not.

I was behind a lady in the grocery store, and she told her toddler to Shut Up. I know that we all have those days, and it HAS been 115+, but her kid wasn't even being annoying. Just talking about the things in the grocery store--identifying colors and things.

I just find that ugly and unfortunate.

It made me want to slap that bitch upside the back of the head. Hard. If you don't like them, don't breed.

Let me add that this was not a Sweats-with-holes and greasy-ponytail gum-chewing flip-flop wearing underachiever--that was me, minus the holes, the grease, and the gum--she was dressed like bank people or church people. You know those...heels and pearls on a Sunday evening when it's a thousand degrees and not a drop of sweat on her?

I yearn for the day when I can pull off a hot Sunday afternoon NOT looking like I was just spit out of the dryer--hair frizzed and escaping my pony, sweating and wild eyed as I march my kids through the store because I cannot put off grocery shopping any longer. sigh. But my kids are people and I treat them as such. Please and thank you are universally applied. Is common courtesy a dying concept?

Please disregard the poem.

Angry Again, originally uploaded by -saint-.

This was going to be a post about Blogger NOT posting my emailed posts for days, if at all, but instead, let's talk about poetry, shall we?
I am shallow and lazy, and for the most part, I just don't get poetry. Put a punch line in it. Make it funny. Make it cruel. THEN, I get it. But don't post a picture (that I really like and want to use) on Flickr, and then title the frigging thing with an entire poem so you can back-door your poem onto my lovely bitchy post.
What's that You say? Pick another picture? No. This picture is how I feel about Blogger right now. And, as it happens, about poetry.

***************************************
I'd urge you all to partake of the only poetry I truly enjoy, the Casual Slack Tuesday Work Sucks Haiku.

Little O's Cake

10-7-03 060, originally uploaded by supa_jen_10.

This was her own personal cake.

I am Birthday-Manic-Obsessive

Birthday Balloons, originally uploaded by girlzone41.

I know that I go overboard. I know it. There are two big weaknesses in my life that do not involve chocolate or books.

Halloween Costumes and Birthday Parties.

There is so much about childhood these days that just sucks. I cannot turn my ten year old loose to roam the neighborhood all summer long. It isn't safe, and I'll opt for safe over free and missing any day. We live in the city, so there's no catching tadpoles or, well, ANYTHING that I remember from my childhood. There are video games and very structured sports leagues. (I was reading an editorial about why the US sucks at soccer--another day)

So I want my kids to have magnificent Birthdays. Is that so wrong? I've never hired a clown or anything...not even a bounce house. But I like a theme and a twist. Something unique. Big O went to the snooty private school for a while, and I knew better thatn to get into the one-upsmanship game with the Neurosurgeon's wife. OOh, I was just bragging about never hiring the clown, but I guess two years ago I did rent the sh*tty two tube waterslides for our exclusive use--it was cheaper than the Pizza Parlor Video Game Extravaganza...hmm.

OKAY, I go alot overboard sometimes. Big O's Birthday is coming up. He'll be 11. We are bowling. Not content with a mere bowling party, I HAD to make it Intertellar bowling, with an alien theme. Big O and I had already discussed doing a pyramid of Krispy Kremes instead of cupcakes, so now I'll just make the top one into a flying saucer... But now I NEED a big picture of an alien head to make a mask on a stick so I can take a group photo of everyone with their alien mask. I thought about making them bowl in the bobbling antennaes, but I think Big O is going to invite a Girl from karate. He's always had girls at his parties, but I think this is a Girl. Capital G. Which kinda means I have to step up my game, right? I don't want my boy to come off as geeky (his father covers that angle nicely, thank you).

I'd like to thank Bree for reining me in about finding alien themed music that no one will pay attention to...and telling me that yes,t-shirts as souveniers would be overboard (but they'd be so cool!). sigh.

I'm sure I'll be blogging more as the party nears. But it just occured to me that my very first post had the cupcakes from Little O's 3rd Birthday. I'll leave you with the cake from her first birthday, which had a Bee theme, because that's Little O's middle name. That's another post in and of itself...

Thursday 13! # 3

Thirteen Sweetest Things Jen has known 1... My brother talked to his wife's belly every night and when my niece was born, my brother followed the baby into the nursery to be weighed and measured. We were all pressed up against the glass and we could hear her screaming. My brother leaned down and started talking to her, and she instantly stopped crying and drew her arms and legs in, and just listened to him. 2... My former mother in law died at home surrounded by her children and her husband, and when the coroner came to take her away, her husband stood on the porch whispering that he should have kept her with him for one more hour. It wasn't creepy, it was as touching a thing as I've ever seen, and someday I want someone to love me that deeply. 3... A co-worker struggled for years to have a baby, to no avail. Not two months after losing her mother, she became pregnant, and I think it's proof that you CAN get a little help from above. 4... I used to sing my son to sleep, and in the midst of my marriage falling apart, my sweet boy took my face in his hands, and sang "You are my sunshine" perfectly. He was three. 5... My parents still hold hands. 6... When my ex's mom started losing her hair to chemo, she was very sad and felt like she was losing her identity (Her husband always called her curly). We got out the clippers and had a head shaving party for her so she wouldn't have to wake up with it on her pillow every day. It was very impromptu, but was warm and loving, and she was very brave. 7... Listening to my mexican mother in law tell my daughter about her grandfather, who passed away two years before I met my Honey. My Honey was really close to-and still has trouble talking about- his dad, but his mom will tell Little O stories (in Spanish, even though Little O doen't speak Spanish). 8... My grandma brushing my grandpa's hair as he was dying. 9... When I was four I thought my dad wasn't going to make it to my birthday, he had to work. At the end of the party, when the Farrell's workers made a big train and ran all around the restaurant announcing my birthday and bringing out the ice cream, my dad was at the end of the line riding a kick-n-go with a bow on it. Best entrance ever. Best birthday ever. That's why little girls love their daddies. 10... My brother surprised his wife for their tenth anniversary. He whisked her off to Hawaii and married her again on the beach. Just the two of them. 11... My Honey and Little O slow-dancing at the wedding. They tried on top of his shoes for a while, but ended up with her head on his shoulder, just beaming. They both were. 12... Babies fresh from the bath, smelling like Johnson's shampoo and warm baby. That is just bliss.(NO babies. NO NO NO babies. stick me with a fork, I'm done. NO Babies.) The best smell in the world. 13... When my honey does the dishes. I hate doing dishes. I'll cook you a FEAST, but I'll serve it to you on paper plates, if I'm washing dishes. I cannot count on him to do them regularly, but what a glorious surprise when he does it. Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1.http://adjunky.wordpress.com/ 3.http://creekistan.blogspot.com 4.http://www.patentprincess.com 5.http://unexploredterritory.blogspot.com/

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Okay I obviously need to learn the voodoo involved with the fabulous box where you insert your own link when you leave a comment...

Not a WTF Wednesday.

Good Morning, Cujo!, originally uploaded by hasfurrychildren.

It's wonderful Wednesday...because Weds is halfway to Friday. My customers have all been bitten by rabid dogs.

How do you know, Jennifer?

Because they are all foaming at the mouth, and convinced that we are after them. All of us. Refusing to give us addresses because we are harboring secret grudges, and they fear retribution. Which, with the exception of the obnoxious bastard on South Miller, is completely absurd. :}

Tasty Tuesday

This is my gift to you, stolen DIRECTLY from the pages of
Cuisine Magazine. Which is, by the way, one of my all time favorite cooking magazines (along with Cook's Illustrated).

Chocolate Espresso Torte

Place in Bowl:
12 oz semi sweet chocolate, coarsely chopped

Heat until boiling; pour over Chocolate:
1 lb unsalted butter
1 C espresso (coffee concentrate is smoother)
1 C dark brown sugar

Add:
8 eggs, slightly beaten

1. Trace and cut out waxed paper or parchment to fit the bottom of a 9” springform pan.
2. Place chocolate in a bowl. In a saucepan, bring butter, espresso, and sugar to a boil. Keep stirring until sugar dissolves.
3. Pour butter mixture into bowl of chopped chocolate. Whisk until chocolate mixture is melted and smooth.
4. Keep whisking as you very slowly pour eggs into chocolate mixture. Now, pour the batter into prepared springform pan.
5. Place springform pan in a roasting pan. Add boiling water to roasting pan until water comes halfway up sides of pan.
6. Bake 1 hour at 350. Place on cooling rack. Run thin bladed knife around inside of pan to loosen torte. Cool, then chill overnight.





Chocolate Glaze

Microwave at 50%:
8 oz semi sweet chocolate, chopped
12 T unsalted butter, cut into tablespoons
5 t water
1 T light corn syrup
Pour over Torte

7. Remove sides from pan. Cut a piece of Cardboard to fit torte. Set on top, then invert torte. Place on pedestal.
8. Slide knife between bottom and paper to release. Press lightly on cake to smooth out any uneven spots.
9. Combine all glaze ingredients in a bowl. Microwave at 50% power for 3 minutes, stirring once a minute.
10. Whisk glaze until it becomes very smooth. This is very important when you start pouring it over cake.
11. Pour warm glaze over torte, letting is coat sides. Pour fast because that cold torte makes the glaze set up.
12. Use a knife for lightly touching up only the uncoated areas. Don’t touch anything else or you’ll get marks!


Dieting is no fun. This recipe is deceptively easy to do--the water bath is the biggest problem I have. It looks amazing and tastes like sin. Did I mention that dieting sucks?

Mmmmm...pet peeve.

Why, when you are invited to sing at an event, do you insist on screwing it all up with vocal gymnastics? Do you think you're Mariah Carey? Does Mariah Carey think that it's a good thing? Okay, we'll set aside my loathing for all things squeally, I mean skanky, I mean Carey.

You are singing the national anthem, a song many people feel compelled to sing along with. When you deviate from the traditional rendition, they become befuddled. Then angry. I GET that this is a big opportunity for you. I'm just saying, do it right. It's our national anthem. Showcase your range (or lack thereof) another time. Another place. Away from me and mine.

My Other Other Sweaty Hero...

C'mon Now! It's the Cowbell Guy!

Actually, he looks a little like my first sweaty hero.

But nothing like John McEnrat.

Continuing With the Potter Theme...

WIDTH="88" HEIGHT="130" ALT="Want to Get Sorted?">

I'm
a Ravenclaw!

It is the Year of the Spider!

My backyard is infested with spiders the size of quarters. I have three huge, perfect spiderwebs between the fence and the roof of the carport. My ghetto palace backs right up to Interstate 5, so we do not spend time out in the back yard, but still. It's like the forest in Harry Potter. I'm waiting for them to carry off Little O to be their queen-- or their lunch.

The Honey swears he's going to take care of them all. Maybe they'll carry him off? Hmmm...

Did you ever have a recurring nightmare?

Statue of Virgin, St-Fleuret, Estaing, originally uploaded by Nicholas Thompson.

I'm not one to remember my dreams, let alone have recurring nightmares, but I did have one when I was a kid...

Let me preface this by saying that I was raised Seventh Day Adventist, and my parents worked for a Catholic Hospital. SDA doesn't do a whole lot of Statuary, something about the whole golden calf/ false idol thing. So as a child I was fascinated by the statues that were EVERYWHERE at my parents' work. Especially one of Mary and Baby Jesus tucked into an alcove on the stairs going up to my dad's office at the time. I had an Aunty Mary who lived in a great corner apartment in San Francisco, and we used to run up the stairs trying to race the (very cool) elevator up to Mary's floor.

So here it is:

I am being chased by the statue of Mary (floating, not running), and she is holding out the Baby Jesus, and they both have the dark circles under their eyes, like when the superfriends went bad? He's got big, thick, clawlike fingernails, and I am running up the stairs trying to get to my aunty's apartment. I get there and the statue opens the door, and my aunt opens a door down the hall and I wake up.

I found a picture on Flickr that reminded me of it, minus the disembodied torsos and the severed head above her. Man, think of what I could have done with THAT as a kid...