Sunday, June 18
Happy Father's Day!
This is one of My favorite Pictures...It's my dad and my Big O going fishing out the back door of my parent's house. (A very out of character activity for them both, I must say.) I am taking this opportunity to give my father a gift, although he has no idea what a blog is.
I have to go back to school.
*Somewhere in Utah, where my father is currently golfing, he just got a chill, and looked around to see what just happened.*
I say this frequently in my home (and whenever I open a paycheck), but I am putting it in my blog to make it a little more concrete. My honey looked at me strangely the other day (After I'd said it out loud yet again), and said "Okay."
"Okay what, hon?"
"Okay, do it. You talk about it all the time, Why Don't You Do It?"
"er, um, well we couldn't afford it!"
"We'll stop eating out. If you'll cook, it would save us plenty of money. We'll have to cut back, but we just piss away our money now, anyway. The only way we're going to get ahead is if one of us changes up."
This is true on so many levels, and if I were home after school, would my son be a happier, more grounded child? He is struggling so much right now, and I feel like he gets one eighth of the attention he deserves. He just always seems lonely and unhappy and it makes my heart ache to see him isolated from his classmates and peer group in general. I was an odd child, and I know what that was like, and I wish I could help him, but I am at a loss. We put him into Karate to give him a physical outlet, and a peer group outside of school. If it does not involve a favorite video game, he doesn't know how relate to it. I have somehow given him a beautiful smile and no social skills.
Going back to school would enable me to spend more one on one time with him, help him re-focus his study skills (me, too!), and help me reign in my deplorable housekeeping. Maybe this would be good all around. When Little O goes into Kindergarten, I could be home for the half day, and Put my new fancy paperwork to work once she's in school.
The trick is, what would I go back to School FOR? I was always going to be a teacher, but B&N cured me of that. I think I'd kill the parents. But it would be a very kid friendly way of life... Nursing is the family profession, and I could talk to the fam about it all, but the nursing program down here is done by lottery. Once all of your pre-req's are done, you are chosen at random to get into the program. If I moved to the Frozen North by my folks, in the sticks, Dad's hospital will hire you as an LVN and pay you fulll time wages to work part time and go to school part time to get your nursing degree. But Big O could not go with me, his father is down here. As is all of my honey's family. No one moves away from home in the Honey's family. Literally. Two of his siblings live on the same block as his mom. No one has ever left town. MY family takes it as a given that we'll move where the job is, and all stay in touch, and just drive to see each other. No big. I've lived up and down California, as a child and as an adult, following better paychecks and better living conditions. I am officially anchored here in Central California now. Wierd. So what should I major in? Education? The problem is that I really like small kids. So does every other barbie with rocks in her head and no clue why she's in school. (WHOA! I KNOW there are fabulous first grade teachers out there with big gnarly brains and inspired creative teaching skills, but you. know. barbie. is. teaching. our. babies. too.)
The jobs and the challenges would be in older kids (I always thought fourth grade was the highest I'd want to go). I'd like to be a journalism teacher. That was a fun class and helping them with the yearbook would be a good outlet for my more creative side. Or I could forget teaching and go for...um.
I have to go back to school.
Happy Father's Day, Papa-san. I hope you get a hole in one.