Friday, June 16

Mom Moment 2

My kids are so different. Big O (my boy) was into EVERYTHING. He analyzed everything mechanical and took everything apart.
When he was two he locked himself in the bathroom with the with the water running in the sink so he could stop it up and play. I didn't want to panic him when I couldn't get the door open, so I just kept talking cheerily to him as I unscrewed the doorknob. Naturally, the doorknob fell off the other side, and the stupid door stayed locked. I eventually had to chip away at the solid core door (and doorjam) with a hammer and screwdriver until I could get the damned thing open. We had just moved in, and my brother always shakes his head and wonders why I didn't call the fire department. They are for EMERGENCIES, life and death, not stupidity and lack of foresight. (Aren't they?) My hallway was flooded in about two inches of water. We had to have the bathroom floor ripped out. It was a lovely way to begin our tenure as homeowners.
When he was four he went out into our childproofed (HA!) back yard and flipped the breaker for the house. I was thirty before I touched one!
But that's Big O.
Little O is going to talk me to death. At three and a half, her bigest joy is roleplaying like a chipmunk on speed. okayyoubeBeauty,andI'llbeBeastOkaynowI'MBeautyandyoubetheBeast. YoubethemamaandI'llbethebabynowyoubethebabyandI'LLbethemama.
Little O, It is now 11:30. Please go to sleep. Please, please go to sleep. She has not taken anything apart, unless you count my sanity. I relay this to my mama-san and she laughs. One of my strongest memeories of childhood is sitting behind her in the car, and she always said the same thing.
"Jennifer, I want five minutes... Five minutes of Complete silence. Not a word, not a peep. No. Shhhh..." I averaged about two minutes before I felt compelled to argue the fairness of this sentence or spotted a license plate that everyone needed to see, or wondered why we had TEN toes, not twelve.
Aaah, payback.

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