Friday, January 19

I are a hi skewl gradyit.

We are currently accepting applications for drivers.
 
They have to fill out the applications on site.
 
Several of them would like US to fill them out for them.
 
I had issues when I was a mall manager and people would bring me soggy, chewed up applications that they had only half filled out (at best), and then wanted me to hire them.  My own personal litmus test (read instant rejection) was the kid who asked for an application and then immediately stood at my counter filling it out. 
 
If you don't get that standing in front of my register, taking up all available counter space is a bad thing, you do NOT have the instincts for retail.  My girl Jen used to make bookstore applicants write a one page essay about why they wanted to work at the bookstore.  She rocks.  Talk about separating the wheat from the chaff--an Essay!  Bwahahahahaaaaaa! 
 
The driver applications are a small book, and then we ask them to fill it out on site, so they can be forgiven for taking up my counter space, but let's be real.  I am NOT the girl to ask about DOT certification issues, or explain the points on your DMV record.  I am also not told how much drivers earn, since I can promise you it is MUCH more than my piddly wages.  I know exactly what is on the fact sheet that is posted on the board.  The one I invited you to read when you walked in.  I cannot read you the application, tell you how to fill it out, or help you remember your social security number. 
 
It is against the law to alter an application in any way.  I can't staple things for them--I have to hand them the stapler and let them do it themselves (learned that in retail).  That way they cannot come back and say that the way we put the staple on secretly signaled HR that they were a tweaker who lost his wallet and tossed our lobby twice before finding it out in his truck. 
 
But really, I suspect that the quality of the application is pretty revealing about the applicant, anyway.  We got one that had his name, and his signature.  He turned in a nineteen page application with no telephone number or address.  No work history.  Just his name and signature. (That one was not for a driving position, but STILL--I may as well be back in retail.)

3 comments:

Bre the Fish Bowl Buddy! said...

addendum to the tweaker tossing our lobby---he found the wallet in his freaking CENTER CONSOLE people!

kim said...

lmao (laughing my ass off for you non chatters... you know who you are) ...you two get to have all the fun while im stuck in back with the NEW GIRL ... thanks, thanks a lot!

crse said...

ok you are totally cheering me up in my sickness. as soon as im better i will play..for you, i will try to do ten.