Twenty One MEs

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 21 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

I stole this from Jenny In Ca, a fellow Thursday Thirteener, and yet another Jen.

According to this site, there are almost 1.4 million Jens in the US. Maybe I should just do a Jennifer Blog. I think we all have tales for being one of two, or six, or ten Jens in one class at one time. We ARE the Britney of the Seventies. OR would that be Britneys? Screw it--it's like the royal We. We are Jen. hmmm... that's a little borg-ish. The Jen Collective. That would be the blog name. I like it!
Probably never happen. I have trouble posting to THIS blog as often as I'd like, and Little O's wings are taunting me. Add to that the Honey tells me casually that we've been invited to go out as GROWN UPS the saturday before halloween. In Costume. I am stuck trying to think of costumes. He may go as a priest. I am so screwed. No clue, and it's the newlyweds with the 24 year old-nothing sagging-I dance like a music video-bride. sigh. Good thing I like her.

Thursday 13 #16 Best halloween costumes

Thirteen Things Best Halloween Costumes Jen has seen 1…. Beetlejuice. Guy's girlfriend worked at a bridal gown manufacturer, and had a red lace wedding gown, but he totally ruled. He had a purple velvet tux that was at least two sizes too small, and had filled it with baby powder, so every time he told an awful joke, he would pat himself and dust would fly up...he also stayed in character all night, in spite of copious quantities of alcohol. Come to think of it, maybe that WAS his personality. 2. Spy vs Spy. I made giant paper maiche heads, with black screens for the eyes, and would have OWNED that contest if not for Beetlejuice. Took witch hats and cut the tops off to make proportionate fedoras, painted one white, left the other one black... but we had no schtick. I was lucky to get my boyfriend INTO the costume, let alone be planting bombs all night... I have no pictures of the greatest halloween costume ever. I think it's why I'm so obsessive about getting pictures of the kids in theirs... 3. Jellyfish. I lived in Chico one year, and that is a town that does Halloween right! They were dressed all in black, had clear umbrellas with bubble wrap hanging in strings, with glowing necklaces on. They would just lift the umbrellas up and down as they drifted through the crowd, and they looked like Jellyfish swimming along. The.Coolest.Costume.Ever. 4. The windy guys. Also in Chico. When you go downtown, you just drift from bar to bar in a giant circuit of downtown streets. These guys had their hair gelled back, and their ties and coats wired back, and they made whshh-ing noises as they fought their imaginary wind from one light pole to another. There were four or five of them, I think. Was I just drunk? Because I thought they were hysterical. 5. Tinkerbell. As performed by my 6' 2" brother. He found tights (I can't imagine where), wore a white tank top and shorts, and little white wings. Um, he also carried a baseball bat painted gold with a cardboard star stapled to the end, as his magic wand. 6. Flying Monkey. As NOT performed by my chicken brother. I wanted him to do it Will Ferrell style, with his hairy man belly sticking out with the little bell hop outfit worn by the monkeys in Wizard of Oz and a monky snout, wings and a tail. It would have been sheer genius. 7. St. Paulie Girl. The other Jen made her own costume, and while I only saw the photos, it blew me away--Mind, you and Jen look a little alike, you should find a party and just GO for it! 8. Fed Ex Guy. Okay it WAS in a bar, but he had a box attached to his fly and was asking women if they'd like to sign for his package, and then handed them a clipboard for their name and number. It was pretty funny. 9. Pregnant Nun. In high school, my friend delivered pizzas as a pregnant nun. Dave was outstanding. 10. Maleficent. The baddie from sleeping beauty? A co-worker committed to it and totally rocked--full makeup and black skull cap thing, the works. 11. Angel. I kicked ass on Little O's pirate costume last year, but I loved her Angel costume from the year before bettter. It's killing me to not post a picture. 12. Cowboy. I made Big O a cowboy when HE was two, with felt chaps and a little vest, and I've done way more elaborate costumes for him since then, but nothing beats how easy and great his little felt chaps looked. Maybe I just love two year olds in costumes? 13. The Boss. No, not Springsteen. I hope this year is funny, because I am going as my boss. Technically, I am going as my boss's boss. Everyone's boss. The BIG boss. He has a pretty good sense of humor. I hope. If not, I'm going to have to claim to have been dooced. Blame it on the blog. Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Alien Lemmings...

 

I just wanted to see if Picassa worked with Beta. 

Lemming Pride, baby!

I only ever got five votes on my fabulous blog poll regarding Beta Blogger. That was actually one more than I thought I'd get. I got more votes for the line about midget porn than any real input on Beta being the sign of the apocolypse. So I just waited...

Sure enough, my secret twin, CRSE, jumped off the Beta cliff.

I, being a lemming, am leaping after her with my eyes screwed shut against the earth rushing to meet me.

Still no luck in getting technorati to recognize me--is it my forbidden love for Mr. Linky? Oh well, maybe the tag feature in Beta will help...

Mom Moment

hair
Originally uploaded by dandegez.

Little O just complained as I was brushing her hair.
She heaves a big sigh, and says "Mama, you are messing up my DOWN hair!"

I was brushing her bangs back.

Don't mess with the DOWN hair.

Love my O's...

Things I'm liking...

I recently installed Firefox, and while dial up sucks as much as ever, some of the things that you can do in Firefox are a lot of fun! I like the stumble feature. It looks for interesting things FOR you, so you don't already have to know where to go...Did that make sense? I've been playing Which Do You Like Better?, but I'm not sure that it knows all that much yet, It's first question was whether or not I was a guy...But then again, I'm not so sentimental as some of my friends, so maybe the question was legit... Interesting!

Bwahahaha!

Rules for Future Evil Overlords

This technorati thing is driving me nuts...I've embedded all of their stuff, and followed directions to the letter, but they do not show that I have updated since I registered my blog....my pings are off in deep space by now, what am I doing wrong?

Oh, Big O.

My son has been given the curse and blessing of an unusual name. It was my grandfather's name, it is a fine name. It is not the name of your
average bear.

In the course of a boy's life, certain temptations are almost irresistible.

One of these temptations is a pristine piece of wet cement.

Oh, Big O. When your name is as distinctive as yours, a nom de plume is in order.

****

One of the Honey's chief complaints about the Ex is that he does not ever make Big O suffer any consequences. I find that the Honey can be a little Draconian in his notions of discipline, and overall, I find that I am usually more in line with the Ex. You can imagine what a big hit this is at home.

My first instinct is to drag Big O by the ear down to public works and make him perform some sort of penance, like dumping out their trash cans or SOMETHING to show him that there are consequences. But wait...in this day and age, they could thank me for my honesty and then slap me with a bill for the signed concrete art.

I'm honest, and I'm civic minded.... and I'm poor.

So I called the ex to ask what he thought an appropriate measure would
be, and sure enough, he thinks a lecture would suffice. Boys will be boys.

I understand that it's a temptation beyond measure to a boy walking home alone from school.

But when he walks by it in the future, I want Big O to wince, and wish that he had not done it, NOT discover the joys of sharpies and start making his mark everywhere. (And may I say that I am terrified that they are going to ask the school about the name and bill me anyway.)

Any recommendations for consequences of boyish behavior? Less than a beating but more than a lecture.

I hate it when the Honey is right.

Thursday 13 #15

13 Things that happened to me this week.

1. I scratched the bejeebus out of my arms picking limes for my Mother in law. Did you know lime trees have thorns?

2. I had a flash of brilliance regarding the halloween costume contest at work. I can't go into it, but I'm either winning for the "craziest" category, or I am SO fired.

3. I picked a huge fight with my ex-husband because, essentially, he is an idiot. It was give in and be nasty and mean spirited for three days, or chop him up and report him missing. Seriously, It was down to those two options.

4. Inadvertently screwed up with my friend, because her mother made me angry. I think I took her side a little too vehemently, and I'm sorry. very sorry.

5. Gave in and did the dishes, even though I was trying to be on strike because I seem to be the only one capable of loading the frigging DISHWASHER. We have a dishwasher, people-- and still I am the only one to cook, AND the only one to do dishes. But I had to . It was gross.
Big O will be unloading after homework.

6. Ate a kick ass dinner Saturday night--spent money we did not have taking sister-in-law out for her Birthday.

7. Lost my work weight loss competition by six lousy pounds. Evil accountant won, and boss offered her double or nothing. If she commits to losing the same amount of weight again by march, He will give her a THOUSAND dollars. I would sooo take the money now. And then go to Marie Callendar's.

8. But I renewed my vow to be below two hundred by Christmas!

9. Found my dress for the Christmas Party, EXACTLY what I wanted. I just happened to be wandering through the store and There it was marked down because it was last year's color. The only one in last year's color just happened to be in MY size. It was marked $70, and there was no way. But it was marked down to $56 and it was on sale, so I tried it on. It fit, and I decided that if it rang up under forty, I'd get it. Twenty-eight bucks, baby!

10. Went to the Dr. for the first time in twenty years that did not involve stirrups. Just a general check up. I'm good about paps, tho'.

11. Accepted that our glorious California summer is almost over and bought Little O some long sleeved t-shirts to wear under the cutie T-shirts with her jeans. She then naturally went on a dress kick and wanted to wear dresses to pre-school every day for a week, in spite of the crisp fall temperatures.

12. Had a good week with Big O in terms of homework (Always a struggle at our house).

13. Finally got trash toters in stock at work, which should cut down on the irate phone calls by half--unfortunately, the other half will still think that their bill only applies if they ENJOY gettting their garbage picked up. My job is still to explain that we get paid, whether they enjoy that fact or not. sigh. Another day, another stinking heap of--er another dollar.

Linky Love:




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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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WTF Wednesday

So I am looking for recipes for all of the limes I just picked at my mother in law's house. I find an interesting no bake pie recipe, and at the bottom it has other topics you may be interested in...
Pies
Tarts
Key Limes
Whipping Cream
Do Not Have Sex With Horses. Seriously. Don't.
Cream cheese
fairy cakes
Heart Attack on a plate
Graham cracker crusts

Which one of these doesn't belong?

WTF?

Tasty Tuesday--Sugar Cookies

I was shopping this weekend and saw the most beautiful copper cookie cutters. They were crying out for Martha's Sugar cookies. Yes, THAT Martha. This is the most consistent, tasty recipe I have ever found for sugar cookies. I get lazy and make the dough into logs, rolled in colored sugar, I cut them into coins and bake quadruple batches. They are that good.

Martha's Sugar Cookies

4 C sifted All Purpose Flour
1/2 t salt
1 t baking Powder
1 C (2 sticks) unsalted butter
2 C Sugar
2 lg eggs
2 t vanilla OR 2 t fresh lemon juice + zest of 2 lemons

1. In a large bowl, sift together flour, salt, and baking powder, set aside.
2. Use an electric mixer to cream butter and sugar until fluffy. Beat in eggs.
3. Add flour mixture and mix on low speed until thoroughly combined. Stir in vanilla or lemon mixture. Wrap dough in plastic and chill for about 30 minutes.
4. Preheat oven to 325. On a floured surface roll dough to 1/8 inch thick. Cut into desired shapes. Transfer to ungreased baking sheets; refridgerate until firm, 15 minutes. Remove from fridge, decorate with sugar, if that blows your skirt up. Bake until edges just start to brown, 8 to 10 minutes. Cool on wire racks. May be stored at room temp in an airtight container for up to 2 weeks.

Makes 16 large cookies, or 30 2 1/2 inch cookies.

Um, double the recipe because you will want more immediately.

Stupid Tetanus Shot...

Crying2
Originally uploaded by Nolan.Vong.

Yeah, that's right. A tetanus shot. And I'm not at all happy about it, either. Not for one of the O's, for ME. Doctor found out I worked at the garbage comapny and nothing would do but that I get a shot. I answer PHONES. But I can't remember when I last had one, so there I go. Stuck like the proverbial pig.
I scared the nurse when I told her I was a screamer in elementary school when shots came around.
Lord, I hated getting stuck.

I'm such a baby.

****************************

On the upside, the nurse was a little lazy, and even though it was sitting a bit high, she marked me down at 210 for weight. Gotta love those lazy wenches...

Confession #483,697

Since I took and posted that damned photo, I have not done a thing on Little O's wings.

Must. Get. to. WORK.

My own true love...

Okay, so I tried it three times, and he came up on all three, I guess I should just accept that my Dead Celebrity Soulmate is Rudolph Valentino.

Go figure.

Although Henry the 8th was tempting....

Once again shamelessly stolen from Irreverent Antisocial Intellectual.

Can I get a boy band instead?

Menudo
Originally uploaded by THEfunkyman.

It's THAT day in the honey's family, and they are getting excited...mama might make homemade menudo!

OH. BOY.

I have to explain that I will never thrive in Scotland, either. I am an Organ-o-tarian. Don't get me wrong, I am definitely a carnivore! I totally grossed out the favorite SIL last night because I ordered my steak medium (we went to a REAL restaurant for her birthday--I normally order med-rare) and it was gloriously pink. But today that same girl is dying to scarf down major organs stewed in a greasy red soup with some hominy, and I'm the gross one.

I don't do organs. Biggest organ on a body? The skin. And no, I don't want any deep fried pork rinds either. Yak. But this obsession wwith menudo and haggis and monkey brains (okay, no one I know eats monkey brains, but they are considered a delicacy, right?) is not something I can wrap my head around.

Why would you want to chew and swallow Nature's little filters. If it wasn't good for that cow or pig, why would it be good concentrated in that organ and then stewed?

I've eaten the broth to shut them up, and it's okay. They make a non-organ kind called Pasole (I've probably misspelled that) that uses meat instead of organs. They give you shredded cabbage, and onions and radishes, and lemon and oregano to sprinkle on it .

OOOH, can I get a big piece of intestine to go with my cabbage and radishes? MMMM, chewy!

It's Here! It's Here! It's Here!

 

I found one! I had money in my pocket when I found one! If you don't know what I'm talking about, you may be looking for the Brazilian kid whose blog is in Portuguese--hit the "next blog" buttton one more time. What's that? Japanese anime video gaming blog? Three hits on the button and good luck loading that fucker!

That next blog button can certainly be an adventure, can't it? 

Operation Lose That Ass: the final tally.

Booooo Hoooooo

I lost both of my weight loss competitions, and yet I won...

I went from 228 at the start of the work competition, and was down to 223 at the start of OLTA.

My weight as of tuesday? 214.2

The evil accountant has triumphed at work. But maybe not for the ca$h... we have to wait for the final weigh in on monday, but I am definitely not gonna make 204 to qualify by then...

On a happier note, Quinn has been declared the winner of OLTA.

Quinn, Quinn, you are looking so Thin!
You may need a sandwich.
What's that in the grass? The rest of your Ass?
May I suggest a Monte Cristo?


Okay, I told you guys that you would have to write the poetry, now you know why. I'm sorry Quinn, you deserve better.

But really, I didn't lose anything except the extra weight that has been creeping on to me, and i intend to keep losing. I'm gonna be below 200 by Christmas. And that includes the glory that is Turkey day in November!

Thursday 13 # 14--Rockin 80's songs, man!

Thirteen 80's lyrics from JENNFACTOR Name the song and the artist! I don't know who to give credit to! I've played on a couple of TTers song lyrics, and always had fun--if you had friends wearing black makeup in the 80's, you may be a little more successful with these! Love you, Kat! 1…. If you twist and turn away If you tear yourself in two again If I could,You know I would If I could,I would Let it go Surrender Dislocate 2. Someone write me a letter I need to know that I'm still alive Someone give me a telephone call I need to hear a human sound Someone open up a door And let me out of this place I've been caged up for oh so long I don't know of I'm living or dying Man, I was bright and happy teen, wasn't I? 3. And fiery demons all dance When you walk through that door Don't say you're easy on me You're about as easy as a nuclear war Cos the dream that strings the road With broken glass for us to hold And I got so far before I had to say 4. But I think that God's Got a sick sense of Humor And when I die I expect to find Him laughing. 5. You hear laughter Cracking through the walls It sends you spinning You have no choice... Following the footsteps Of a rag doll dance We are entranced (ahem, insert song title here) 6. He's got to make his own mistakes And learn to mend the mess he makes He's old enough to know what's right But young enough not to choose it 7. I see you've sent my letters back And my LP records and they're all scratched I can't see the point in another day When nobody listens to a word I say 8. In the silence, I think of you I send a message, and I hope it gets through Think of the distance Think of the miles All of the valley's, could take a while I miss the people I miss the fun Your my apparition She's my only one 9. I like the way that they walk And it's chill to hear them talk And I can always make them smile From White Castle to the Nile 10. Good times they come and they go Never going to know What fate is going to blow You're way just hope it feels right Sometimes it comes and it goes You take it ever so slow And then you lose it, then it flows right to you So we rely on the past Special moments that last Were they as tender as we dare to remember Such a fine time as this What could equal the bliss 11. Darkness Imprisoning me All that I see Absolute horror I cannot live I cannot die trapped in myself 12. Across the clouds I see my shadow fly Out of the corner of my watering eye A dream unthreatened by the morning light Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night There's no sensation to compare with this Suspended animation, A state of bliss Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies 13. When I'm out walkin' I strut my stuff Man,I'm so strung out I'm high as a kite and I just might stop to check you out Links to other Thursday Thirteens! I profess for a fifth week my forbidden love of Mr. Linky...

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Buy some stamps-eat some Yogurt

pink ribbon
Originally uploaded by Lynxy.

Carolee Wallis was my mother-in-law.

She was a tiny woman with sparkly brown eyes, and she was soft and squishy and tender hearted. I could not have asked for a more perfect grandmother for my son. She was kind of fluttery and really should have been in a fifties sitcom. She was a very fifties kind of mom.

The ironic thing is that Carolee was a survivor.

She survived her childhood, with family issues that no one talked about at the time. She survived the death of her first husband, left with three small children to raise. She survived the abandonment of her second husband, in the midst of her second pregnancy with HIM, leaving her with five kids under ten. She even managed to survive the next two disastrous marriages.

She found true love when she least expected it, and by the time I met her had settled into domestic bliss, taking care of little independent seniors in her community. They were her "ladies" and she gave them companionship and transportation, and made sure that they weren't living out of cat food cans.

She was the very definition of a caregiver.

But when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, she wasn't cared for. The doctor treating her was undergoing treatments for a wasting disease himself, and weeks after her mastectomy, he passed away. Carolee had faith in the system and was sure that if something more needed to be done, someone would be calling her.

She fell through every crack like alice through the looking glass. By the time she insisted that she needed to be seen, she had a festering wound. The woman who took care of everyone else died with a gaping black hole in her chest . It's been six years and I am still incredulous and angry. The woman who had survived so much just couldn't survive this.

Carolee died surrounded by her family, at home, and we worepink ribbons at her funeral. I have my pink ribbon, still held together by the angel pin she gave to us at christmas, up on the wall at my job, to remind me how lucky I am to be here and how precious it all is.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Support it any way you see fit-but support it.

Carolee Wallis was my mother-in-law.

Land that I Love...

A girlfriend from Iowa is having her younger brother move out to live with her and her boyfriend. He has never been out to see the West Coast, and he’s moving here. The more she talks to him, the more she is convinced that the poor boy thinks he’s moving to San Diego.

This is a mistake I think a lot of young people make when they move to the Golden State. We have a lot of coastline, but a lot of it is frigging FREEZING. The warm sunny beaches make up a very small percentage of what California has to offer. Hot chicks in bikinis, riding around in convertibles, dying to flash earnest young men? Only on TV, man.

What you are far more likely to see in every part of the state is a migrant family ekeing out a living, in a ramshackle stucco house. Redneck families with an assortment of scrap metal in their yard. A landlord pulling away in a Mercedes, going back to the “right” side of town.

I’m not saying that we are all hand to mouth vagabonds. There are plenty of affluent families of all races, creeds, and colors. But there is a neighborhood in every town that never makes it to the sitcoms and dramas on TV, and I think her brother is in for a huge slap in the face. Poor boy.

Having said that, I love California. I grew up in the far North of Northern California, and sneered at those fools on TV who referred to the bay area as Northern California. As far as I am concerned, it’s still Central California until you get to Sacramento.

But it is a glorious state with so much more than beaches and movie stars. I love the rolling hills between Vacaville and San Francisco, I love the red dirt and manzanita bushes around Whiskeytown Lake. I am in AWE of the variety and scope of CA’s natural offerings.

My other girlfriend (the other Jen)is moving to Coarsegold, which is south of Yosemite. I went to see her new palace today, and was struck again by these thoughts as I drove through the stucco shacks in Madera and then hit the dusty plain on highway 145. The geography changes abruptly and starts climbing….

See?

yep

  

I am sick.

104.6 F
Originally uploaded by dianny.

I found this photo on Flickr and it made me laugh. I was dying to know what the ointment was for--turns out it's an ear thermometer. Not so funny that way, but I appreciate the generic Vitamin I. They don't tell you that Ibuprofen is necessary in life, but they should. My mom and her nurses always called it Vitamin I.

I have a sore throat and the lovely feverish skin that feels like every nerve ending is being stroked--not painfully, just constantly. It seems to roll across me in waves. Add the dizziness and inability to stay warm, and it's going to be a lovely night.

BWAAHAHAHA!

I am so embarrassed. I got my TT up, but thought it was Wednesday the
whole time I wrote it (usually when I do it), and then I left this
little note on the TT hub about how amazed I was that at 1 am on
Thursday morning, I could be so far behind the TT pack. Try Friday
morning, genius.

oops.

I did the same thing a few weeks ago, but THAT time I posted too
early.

On a side note, I am wearing a striped mock polo type shirt from Lane
Bryant. Lane Bryant, the retailer dedicated to big girls and their
fashion choices. I would still assert that big pouffy/lacy/ruffled
pirate shirts are a fashion mistake on almost anyone, but Big girls in
particular, but LB tries to be fashion forward, and I try to respect
that.

However.

On my springy stripey mock polo, there is a tiny novelty pocket above
my left breast. Okay, the horizontal stripes on a stretch shirt, placed
upon a curvaceous woman, become a little distorted. I can live with
that. But then throw on a miniature pocket so it looks like a fun house
mirror with my chest eight times as large as the teeny pocket receding
in the distance? Thanks, guys.

I love this shirt for it's clean, bright colors. It looks very crisp
to me.

In a funhouse sort of way.

Thursday 13 #13! --13 Magazines I love

1. Cuisine at Home Best, easiest recipes, easy to follow directions, yum.

2. Harper's Magazine Brain food-- an interesting cross section of liberal media--a little bit of everything, the Index alone is worth the price of a subscription.

3. National Geographic Long a favorite of schoolboys everywhere, this magazine is the coolest for incredible photo essays AND exotic locations.

4. Real Simple A little bit of everything, but beautiful and simple and clean. Love it.

5. Cook's Illustrated Magazine This is the advanced version of #1. They are much less concerned with simple and easy, their point is to find the best result, and then they'll worry about easier if possible. The PBS Show America's Test Kitchen is from the folks who put out this magazine. Love them.

6. Discover It's not quite science for dummies, but it IS science in everyday language, much more approachable than other science journals.

7. Vanity Fair This is a total Guilty Pleasure. It's like People Magazine, but instead of the story about the Wal Mart clerk, they have the story about the Art Thief, or the Uber rich dog trainer, or whatever--it's snobby People. What a life...

8. Everyday Food The unstoppable Martha Stewart gave me something to compete with Cuisine--but I don't like the size--I want something I can lay flat as I dribble sauce on it.

9. Print Magazine I don't claim to read this--it's a graphic design magazine that is over my head/out of my league. But Years of working at the bookstore got me hooked on their annual design issue--I've said it before, I love cheese. I clever graphics and funny ads, and I pour over this thing when I run across it. Marvelous stuff.

10. Car and Driver Magazine My dad is a car junky. Not to fix them up, but he loves toys, and likes to know what the newest toys are. I have always loved cars. I blame it on my father.

11. Turtle Magazine Again, my father. I had a subscription when I was little, and there was a series of Baba Yaga stories that my dad and I read together. There were probably only one or two about the Russian (Slavic?) witch living in her cottage, but that time with my dad was HUGE to me, and I will always love Turtle for that time with him.

12. Rolling Stone It was my bible in high school. Not so much anymore, I haven't bought an issue in a few years (when did THAT happen?), but the first of it's kind.

13. Smithsonian Magazine My former sister-in-law had a subscription to this. It's like an Americana version of national geographic--minus the stunning photography (usually). Great stuff.

14. I know, I know, it's THIRTEEN things, but every year, Better Homes & Gardens does a Christmas Cookies magazine. I don't want their other seasonal stuff--I just want an annual subscription to THIS. My Christmas season is kind of a failure if I don't grab one. I'll see one in the store and think I'll get it next time and then never see it again. ARGH!

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. ItÂ’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Linky Love...

Interesting and thought provoking.

My Belief-O-Matic Results are in!

I stole this from the Irreverant Antisocial Intellectual.

It's quite a shock, as I was raised Seventh Day Adventist. Imagine finding Scientology and Christian Scientist higher on the list than SDA...Won't mother be proud? Actually, it looks like almost everything is ranked higher. What does it mean for my daughter's baptism that Roman Catholic is the least likely? hmmm...

1. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (98%)
3. Unitarian Universalism (88%)
4. Taoism (77%)
5. Secular Humanism (74%)
6. Theravada Buddhism (74%)
7. Bah�'� Faith (74%)
8. Mahayana Buddhism (72%)
9. Orthodox Quaker (68%)
10. Neo-Pagan (62%)
11. New Age (61%)
12. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (60%)
13. Nontheist (59%)
14. Jainism (58%)
15. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (53%)
16. Reform Judaism (52%)
17. New Thought (49%)
18. Sikhism (48%)
19. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (45%)
20. Scientology (42%)
21. Hinduism (41%)
22. Jehovah's Witness (41%)
23. Islam (38%)
24. Orthodox Judaism (38%)
25. Seventh Day Adventist (32%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (22%)
27. Roman Catholic (22%)

Butterfly Update

Here's where we are so far on Little O's wings. My mother laughed her head off when I finally 'fessed up. She says I'm crazy for sewing it instead of gluing it all together.

She may be right. 

Tasty Tuesday- Bread Pudding

Still no fantastic Rum cake. WTF did I do with the recipe?

More Badness...

Don’t Think About It Bread Pudding

Topping
2 Tablespoons sugar
½ teaspoon Cinnamon


Pudding
4 large eggs plus 1 large egg yolk
¾ cup sugar
2 ½ cups whole milk
2 ½ cups heavy cream
3 Tablespoons bourbon
1 Tablespoon Vanilla extract
¾ teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
¼ teaspoon salt
12 ounces (about ½ loaf) good quality american style white bread, sliced 3/8 inch thick and cut into 1 ½ inch cubes (about 8 cups)*okay, I used mini-croissants, hence the name
1 ½ Tablespoons unsalted butter, melted, plus more for
greasing the baking dish

1. FOR THE TOPPING: stir them together, genius.

2. FOR THE PUDDING: adjust an oven rack to the lower-middle position and heat the oven to 325*I think mine was at 350-yikes! Butter a 13 x 9 baking dish.

3. Wisk the eggs, yolk, and sugar in a large bowl to blend well. Whisk in the milk, cream, bourbon, vanilla, nutmeg and salt. Stir in 6 cups of bread; mix thoroughly to moisten. Let stand 20 minutes.

4. Pour the mixture into the prepared baking dish. Scatter the remaining 2 cups bread cubes on top, pushing them down gently to partially submerge. Brush the exposed bread with the melted butter and sprinkle with the topping.

5. Bake until the pudding turns a deep golden brown, is beginning to rise up the sides of the baking dish, and jiggles very slightly at the center when shaken, 45 to 50 minutes. A knife inserted in center should be partially coated with semi-set custard, not clean!

go here. support kimmie.

My Friend Kim
Has a heart bigger than the Rocky Mountains.

She takes care of everyone around her and now has found a way to take care of people that she has never met. She's just that way.

You should go read her tale and tell me if YOU have a cause that you feel strongly about. One special cause, I mean. Because I know you feel strongly about lots of things.

Opertion Lose That Ass--update--NOT!

So this ought to be an update, telling you all about my magnificent ass and how skinny I'm getting. Instead I'm going to tell you that we took the Honey's mother to the Indian Casino in Lincoln on Sunday for her birthday.

Whenever anyone says they've been gambling, MIL asks if it's fun, and then mentions that she's never been. Then she sighs. Then she sighs again. For her Birthday this year, we took her gambling. We figured it was a safe bet, because if she DIDN'T like the machines, there was always the buffet--and this woman loves her some buffet.

We spent more time at the buffet than we did gambling. I admit that I did not spend all of my money gambling--when we squeak by on a regular basis, it causes me physical pain to throw money away, on the off chance that I will be struck by lightning. Physical pain, people.

But as a result, I had money to buy groceries today!

I don't think MIL was impressed with her gambling experience, and while I enjoyed the sunday brunch aspects of the buffet (give me an omlette bar and keep the mimosas coming), MIL sniffed and said Hometown Buffet had a better selection. Given that she is diabetic who doesn't drink, I could see her point--They had nothing sugar free for our little diabetic, versus a whole range of sugar free desserts at Hometown.

Ye Gods, I hate Hometown.

Originally we were supposed to get all of the siblings to try and come, but favorite fantastic sister-in-law kept changing the launch time from our original noon, so the fliers I printed up sat in my car until Sunday morning, when I finally threw them away as I was clearing space for MIL and SIL to sit. What time did we finally get on the road, you ask? Oh, about noon.

So yes, Nikki, Sayre, and Quinn, along with other OLTA participants, I sat for TWO hours at the all you can eat buffet on Sunday.

I walked the perimeter of the casino while everyone blew their remaining cash, but any possible health benefits were mitigated by the carpet of cigarette smoke that coated the place. In California, you are ostracized and banished to the door next to the dumpsters if you smoke. Actually, 20 feet away from the doors, so that puts you IN the dumpsters, doesn't it? It makes us non-smokers spoiled. All that crazy fresh air DOES things to you, man. Walking into the Indian casinos, with their sovreign authority to let people suck down those ciggys, is bizzarre. They were like human smoke stacks.

Bitchy people watching was fun, though...

Anyway, I wore a pair of pants today that I had to DIG for, because it had been so long since I had been able to wear them. If I have to write poems, I'll write them in smaller pants than I started in, and THAT was my goal.

kiss kiss.

Damn those shades of Grey....

I am a liberal. You may have noticed.

This man has always appeared to me to be the epitome of right wing zealotry, second only to good old Strom Thurmond. He WAS the Republican anitchrist until Dubya and tricky Dick were elected.

In the October issue of Discover Magazine, he asserts some surprisingly moderate positions--some verge on open minded. I found this to be somewhat disconcerting, in light of his past image.

Then it all became clear. In a small throwaway line it is mentioned that oh, by the way, he'll probably be running in '08. For the big house. You know, the White one.

GAK.

Consider this my plea to the Democratic party--Please for the love of Dog, come up with a viable candidate--QUICKLY. President Gingrinch. I just threw up in my mouth. I still liked the interview. But Not in the white house. Please. 

Halloween Madness...

So I mentioned on WTF Wednesday that Toys R Us online didn't recognize the term hula hoop. I went to the actual store, and found, not a hula hoop, but a Wave Hoop--apparently the newest, tarted-up cousin of the plain jane hula hoop. Yes, it was encased in some sort of Mylar sheathing that was peeling the first time Little O dropped it in the parking lot--whatever--it was on sale, and that was all that I wanted. I was only going to cut it in half.

Guess what makes it a Wave hoop? Can you see it coming?





Yes, the frigging thing was water filled. As were my shoes when I cut it open.

But it WAS the right size and structure to fill out the wings.

In the meantime, the girls at work have caught the bug and are planning costumes for work. One VERY daring co-worker received her online shipment of the Marilyn dress she will be wearing to work. I am jealous and apprehensive at the same time. This girl goes ALL OUT on her costumes. Last year she came as Maleficent, from Sleeping Beauty--one of my favorite villains for pure evil's sake, by the way--and she totally kicked ass. I would love to get a sexpot Marilyn costume, but it would be porn gone bad to appear in something with a neckline that plunging when I am overendowed to the point of cartoony-ness. We are actively encouraging this girl to get some serious pasties if she plans on wearing this cheap white costume material as the only covering to her worldly goods. I think she is beginning to see our points--just as long as we don't see hers! But all kidding aside, she is going to look phenomenal and My competitive streak is kicking in--I know what I want to be.

I want to be little red riding hood in a little-girl dress and a red hood.

If you look online at plus sized costumes, they all involve bustiers or the bend-me-over-and-do-me lengths. This is something I want to wear to WORK and then take my (then) four year old daughter trick-or-treating in. Lifting the aforementioned cartoony proportions up even further with a bustier would be obscene, and the do-me short skirts are equally inappropriate because most of my height comes from my legs. We won't even address the sites that advertise plus sized costumes that go all the way up to a fourteen! Okay, yes we will. Fourteen is where plus sizes START, you skinny bitches! Don't advertise a plus sized costume that is a twelve. Go eat a sandwich, you anorexic whore. (that would be the web master, not the size 12)

Ahem, anyway...

I decided that a square dancing outfit would still give that little girl look with the crinolines and the traditional style, but probably be a more respectable length. Only problem? They DANCE, so they're ACTIVE, so they don't really get a whole lot of requests for a size 18-20 dress. I think I found an old lady on E-bay who's selling off stuff, but e-bay is strangely resistant to my charms, and won't let me register. I can't ask questions until I register. Hopefully my psychic twin Jen, who CAN access E-bay, will be able to find out more...

Thursday 13 #12--13 Things to Learn!

13 Things Jen needs to Learn

1. Wine-- I would like to know the difference between fruity and dry, slightly acidic with a hint of lavender…the grapes were grown on the northernmost side of the vineyard, in a year with lots of rain, and they were…(sip) hmm, yes, picked by a left handed man wearing argyle socks. Barring that, I’d like to be able to drink a strong red without making faces.
2. Belly dancing—I have wanted to learn how since I was four—one of my parent’s friends knew how and used to let me play with her finger cymbals. I was actually enrolled at Parks & Rec five years ago, but got a job that forced me to quit due to scheduling conflicts—I’ll learn to belly dance if I have to do it when I’m sixty five. I will.
3. Time Management—I am eternally late. To everything. My family takes bets as to when I will show up for things. I would like to be prompt—I know some people take is as a sign of disrespect when you’re late, but I am, literally, late to everything.
4. Tai Chi—There used to be a tai chi class in the mornings at the mall, and while their annoying Japanese banjo music would put me to sleep just when I most needed to wake up, it seemed like a great way to exercise in a low impact way. (If I hadn’t needed something upbeat to get me going, I’m sure the music would be peaceful and soothing—just not at 8 am.)
5. HTML—I’d like to learn all of the arcane voodoo based languages that blogger runs on—I REALLY want to learn the lining out thing—those make me laugh. I’d like to understand how to make my blog as pretty and smooth as the ones I see as I travel the Thursday Thirteen blogroll…
6. Whiskey!! My Girl Jen, the other half of each Jennfactor tale, has learned to differentiate single malt from whatever the alternative is, and good whiskey from bad—that is such a guy’s girl kind of thing to know—How cool! (Without being a hard drinking road dog chewing on a seegar, not knowing where your underwear went.)
7. Cake Decorating—I want to be able to make magnificent creations using FONDANT—I drool over those glorious cakes, and while I can FAKE a regular butter cream cake, I want to make one of those flawless, gorgeous, not-sure-I-want-to-eat-it-because-it’s-just-too-pretty pieces of art.
8. House Cleaning—I am a terrible housekeeper and I am deeply ashamed of how very bad I am. I’d like to work as a temp at merry maids, to learn how to get it done efficiently and painlessly. I’d work for free if they’d just teach me.
9. Typing. I type for a living, but that doesn’t mean it’s a skill I have mastered. I am an outstanding Customer Service Rep, but a terrible typist. You may have noticed.
10. Pastry—When Martha/Julia Child talks about a Brioche, I want to say—oh, yes, of course! A brioche! I’d like to have a secret pie crust recipe that I am not afraid of, that makes buttery flaky crusts just like my frozen Marie Calendar’s ones…homemade Danish to die for? Oh, it’s EASY!
11. Basic Auto Maintenance. I am thirty-five years old and have never changed my own oil or tire. I HATE being a dumb girl about these things. I’d like to look the mechanic is the eye and say –excuse me? How, exactly, are you going to charge me for four hours of labor for something that takes you TEN minutes to do? You have to have knowledge to back up a conversation like that.

12. Raising my Kids to be Independent Thinkers. I know what I WANT to give them, I'm just not sure I'm giving them the appropriate tools to become the adults I hope they will be. I hope they don't need too much therapy when they are grown...

13. How to finish a list of thirteen things without petering out at the end (sorry any Petes out there, that phrase must drive you guys nuts).

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

I again profess my Love for Mr. Linky, even though I am too cheap to express my love in cash form! I get the traffic I get, and I suspect I'd get a lot less if I failed to post each link that my fellow TT'ers leave. Which I would, in fact, fail to do, if it were not for Mr. Linky's magical widget.

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