Friday, July 7

Country Club tales...

So my Honey is in a wedding this weekend. His best friend from kindergarten is marrying a 24 year old infant (who, I have to say, is Such a nice kid--Thank God!) on Saturday, at the local country club. When we pulled up for the rehearsal it looked like prom nite, but it was the asian prom-- 15-20 beautiful asian girls in formal dresses--not full length, but definitely DRESSES. There was nothing casual about these.

I am now feeling very glamorous in my trusty "skinny" black pants and black jacket. I'm 5'10" in bare feet, and none of these girls' heads reached my shoulder since I had heels on. So I am the Jolly black Giant wading through this sea of skinny, exotic fashionistas. If this is the bridal party, I'm going to have to strangle the very nice Bride. We walk into the lobby, and there are 20 or so MORE twigs in dresses I'd kill to wear. Just as I was sighing to myself and renewing my diet pledge, the gods sent me a sign. Miss Perfect Hair and Makeup #26 (a size 00, if not something from the children's department-grrr), standing four feet away and talking to her friends, starts digging her thong out of her ass through her dress. Her back was NOT to the wall, and there was nothing subtle about it. She SNAPPED that thing back into place loud enough that it caused my Honey to turn around.

It's comforting to remember that skinny doesn't buy class.

IT was NOT the wedding party, it was the local university's school of Pharmacology having their graduation party. So when a skinny little asian girl in a white coat comes out to talk to you about possible side effects, remember this lovely vignette.

The country club is beautiful, all done in a very clean Arts & Crafts style, no chintz in sight. My favorite part is that at the check-in desk, they post the info about applicants for membership. If five club members object to the candidates during the two week posting period, the application is denied. Along with personal information, they post a picture of the applicants. To, hmm, check skin tones, perhaps? Did you ever see Auntie Mame with Rosalind Russell? If not, you should rent it immediately. Love those fade outs...

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Forgot the part when the Mexican minister asked to buy a beer at the bar while waiting for the wedding party to show up, dressed very nicely in a polo and jeans, with nice leather sandals (No hairy toes sticking out). He was told that they would not serve people in jeans. When we came in, one of the groomsmen is standing there in his denim shorts, hawaiian shirt and flip flops, and he said that they didn't even charge him for the beer! Tell ME that they don't post those pictures for a reason. (Although the honey and I agree that the groomsman looks like George Eades' twin....(I think that's the guy who plays Nick on CSI) Maybe the bunny behind the bar thought it was him. Twins, I tell ya.

2 comments:

crse said...

that totally helps with the medical fear issues. when im feeling intimidated from now on, im just going to go to my new happy place and enjoy the butt picking imagery. and silently thank the center for disease control for mandatory handwashing. I LOVE YOUR BLOG.

factor 10 said...

Thank You! My brother won a radio call in contest in the 70's, and won a Zamphir album...
I enjoyed your blog much more than he enjoyed that album.