1. Do I really have to say I'd pay off all of my bills?
2. Buy a house with 2 cottages in the back. Both senior ready, one 1 bdrm, one 2 bdrm. Separated by a little low garden wall. So my O's can visit both grandmas.
3. Purchase a block of investment duplexes, and let my ex live in 1 rent free in exchange for managing the property. So Big O has stablility on both sides (It's a-whole-nother blog to address my Ex's flaky ways).
4. Okay! Okay! College funds for both my O's blah blah blah
5. Go back to school. I'd go crazy if I stayed home and ate bon-bons.
6. Is everything practical taken care of, now? Jeez! I'd buy in to the Disney time share package so we could go to a variety of locations. Yeah, yeah, corporate america has no soul, etc etc. I'd buy in, and I'd like it!
7. I'd buy a mountain property somewhere green with a hill, and I would commission an open air non-denominational stone church, to be built by hand by a caretaker who could have a cabin a discreet distance away. I went to Glendalough in Ireland when I was a teenager, and there has never been a church as beautiful as that stone church. It used to have a thatched roof, but it was burned away a few centuries ago. It was built pre-stained glass, with just this jagged edge of rocks framing the view of the valley, and it seemed like such a pure way to rejoice in the gifts we are given. I'm not religious, but I don't think you need to be to know that as the biggest predator on the planet, we've lucked out. I came home thinking that we should tear down all the modern stucco churches and start over, and that a man should be able to devote his life to building a church like that without being thought crazy.
8. I'd hire a stalker-trainer who would show up at the house to make me work out even if I called to say I had other plans...
9. I'd start a foundation that would run workshops on how to present yourself when you are applying for a job. It would go into low income schools and teach it in the fourth and fifth grade, when even tough kids are still listening, so maybe when they NEED a job, they will understand how to get one.
10. I'd pay a little grandma to wander the mall for a day with a hidden camera planted on her, and she could just pull people aside and tell them thing like:
*next time buy a bra that fits
*get your tongue out of her mouth, you're sitting in the play area
Maybe I just want Maxine from Shoebox?
11. I'd pay a team of scientists to develop a device that would kill thumping car stereos when they pulled up next to my car. Don't get me wrong, I like my music loud, but when I can't hear it over the rattle of my windshield being shaken loose by your car stereo, it's on! My little device would hum quietly, and their fortune in stereo equipment would cough and sputter and then give a little wheeze. While we watched, the muscle-bound no neck boys (and the delicate boys who spend waaay too much money on hair product) would scream like girls and start to cry...
12. Take all of my girlfriends on a child-free mom's vacation, with lots of lounging, spa, and time to read guilt-free. Or maybe we'd take the kids, but hire three nannies to tag team the kids...
13. I'd tour the U.S. and include a space shuttle launch, each national park, a week in Washington D.C., and a month in Hawaii.
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