WTF Wednesday

Fact: Turbo Tax screwed up the filing of my tax return.

Fact: When I called about the filing status, the gentleman in India was lovely and advised me to start over.

Fact: When I started over, I ran it six different times, and was always a thousand dollars short compared with that first return.

Fact: Turbo Tax notified me six weeks later that there was an error, and if I went in and clicked HERE, the very first return I wanted to file could be sent--and oh, by the way, for my time and trouble, they were going to send me a $25 check.

Fact: My stupid taxes had already been filed for the lesser amount because I was pining for spending money.

Fact: They did send me a check and it promptly fell behind the microwave.

So there are the facts. From here on everything may be slightly less than objective. Turbo Tax really owed me $1000, not $25. So knowing that my $975 was gone, I found the expired check the other day, and I gave the telephone # printed on the check a call. It was Intuit.

"Hello, my name is Jennifer, and I have an expired check from your company--could you have another one cut?" Apparently I would have to call the Turbo Tax help line for this issue. Okay.

"Hello, my name is Jennifer, and I have an expired check from your company--could you have another one cut?" Lovely Indian gentleman explained that If I had a problem with my refund, I should call the IRS.

No, no. There was a software error and to compensate me for my time and trouble, YOUR company sent me a check. I just need a new one. Okay, please hold.

***insert theme to Jeopardy***

Ma'am, if there is an issue with your check, you should call the IRS.

No, it's not an IRS Check--it's from YOUR company. I just need a new one. This one is expired. Okay, please hold.

***insert chicken dance polka tune***

Thank you for holding, ma'am. If your check is expired, you will have to call the IRS to get a new one issued.
But-but, it's not a check from them. It's from you. YOU sent it to me. Maybe I should speak to your supervisor? Please hold.

***theme to I Dream of Jeannie***

This is the supervisor, can I help you?
Yes, yes you can. I have a check. A check from your company. It has expired. I just wanted to know if I could have another one.
We sent you a check? Are you a vendor?
No. I am a customer and I was sent this check to compensate me because your software screwed up my income tax filing.
If there was an error on your check, you must call the IRS.
But it's not their check. It's yours.
Please hold.

***tick, tick, tick****

Ma'am, I'll have to look into this and have someone call you back. Would that be alright? Absolutley.

So rather than wait, I call the number printed on the check, and ask for accounts payable. who transfers me to accounts recievable. who transfers me to the refund department, who transfers me to Doug. Doug says: You have a check from our company, and it has expired? We screwed up your taxes? That's terrible! I'll get a new check cut right away!

It got there the NEXT DAY.

Doug at Intuit, I would have your baby. I love you.

****

Three weeks later, I get a call at work. It's Wayne with Turbo Tax USA--he got a message that I wanted someone from America to call me.

WTF?

I was by no means an ugly American, there were no nasty comments about blah blah India Stealing American jobs, I did not even raise my voice. I at no point specified that I wanted an American.

That's all I've got, unless Intuit wants to give me the other $975 that they owe me.